The Locker Room(84)

At this point, I’d be surprised if he recognized me with my shoulder-length, wavy bob, and the few pounds I’ve put on since college.

“Oh my God, how come you never told me this?” Cora asks, smacking my leg.

“We didn’t part on the best of terms.”

“Did he break up with you? Was he a dick?”

“No.” I shake my head, thinking back to that awful night when I broke things off, the tears in his eyes, the pleading to reconsider. My throat closes tight as I hold back the crushing pain threatening to spill over. Eight years later, and I’m still a mess about our breakup. “He was going to be drafted, and I didn’t want to hold him back. I wanted him to focus on making his dreams come true. Baseball needed to be his number one, and I knew if I was still with him, that wouldn’t be the case.”

“So you sacrificed your love for him?” Cora holds her heart. “Oh, that gives me too many feels.”

At that moment, Yan appears with a new batch of margaritas. Thank. God.

“He wasn’t happy. Actually, he was really angry with me, but we vowed to be friends. That slowly dwindled over the years and now we barely talk. Really just on each other’s birthdays. We’re cordial toward each other, but I doubt he’d want to see me. I didn’t really give him a proper goodbye before he left school after being drafted. It was just too hard to see him again.” I tug on a few strands of my hair. “And I don’t think I can see him, even now. I barely made it through school after he left, constantly being reminded of what we had. It’s why I don’t watch the games.”

“Wow.” Cora practically drains her margarita. “When I called for a girls’ night, I wasn’t expecting you to say you once dated the Knox Gentry. I have so many questions, but out of respect, I’m keeping my lips sealed.”

Good, because I think she’d be horrified to learn that despite being together for many months, Knox and I never actually had sex. And I can say to this day, that is one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

That stupid freaking bet.

The most we ever did was . . . wet-hump? If that’s what you want to call it and to date—this is going to sound really pathetic—that’s the best orgasm I’ve ever had.

So, so pathetic.

But it was with Knox, and that’s what made it different. Everything with him was different, and it’s the exact reason I can’t see him, why I can’t be in his presence. Not now, not when I’m still not over the man eight years later. I tried. I tried to move on, and for a while, I was happy with Harvey, I guess. But Knox was simply too good and had ticked every single box of what I wanted in a man. He’d loved me. I know that. But at times, it's been hard to believe when I’ve seen who he’s dated over the years.

“He’s not going to be there, is he?”

“No clue. They usually send relief pitchers to these things, you know? Doubtful.”

I sure hope she’s right.





“Where are you right now?” Dottie asks over the phone.

“In the bathroom,” I whisper. “I can’t do this, Dottie. I seriously feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“You don’t know if he’s going to be there. What did the media person say?”

“She wasn’t sure who was picked to join the ceremony and read to the kids.”

Dottie grumbles. “See, that’s just irresponsible business. She should know exactly who’s going to show up and at what time. I would never hire her.” She’s one hell of a ruthless businesswoman, which is why she’s one of the wealthiest women in Chicago. Her fortune stems from the countless hours she’s put into the business since she graduated, not because of her dad. “Just remember what Cora said; they send the lemons to these events while the starters prep for the games. They have a home game tonight, so there’s no way he’ll be at your school.”

“What about Carson?” I ask, knowing fully well the dynamic duo who once played together in college now share the middle positions on a major league field.

“Same thing. He’s a starter, he won’t be there.”

“And what about the pictures that will be taken? What if Knox sees them when they’re blasted all over the place?”

“Hmm . . .” Dottie pauses. “Well, maybe you substitute Cora for the pictures. She has a great smile, and she was the one who applied.”

“True. Which means, I don’t have to be here. I can go home, right?”

“You know that’s not an option. You already asked the principal.”

I did. I’m not ashamed of it.

“I know. Ugh.” I shake my whole body, loosening my limbs that seem to be tensing tighter and tighter by the second. “Okay, I can do this. He’s not going to show up, Cora will be in the pictures, everything is going to be okay.”

“Exactly, everything will be fine.”

With that, I exit the stall I hid myself in and take one last look at myself in the mirror. I was hoping and praying all morning I wouldn’t see him, but just in the off chance he does show up, I’ve decked out in my slimmest black wrap dress, red heels, and matching red lipstick. It’s only natural to want to look good for an ex.

I make it out to the library in time for everyone to show up. It’s right before lunchtime, Lindsay’s class was the lucky class to be chosen—hmm, how did that happen?—and the team’s social media specialists come flooding in, along with some very tall, very built players.