The Locker Room(53)

Knox picks up the first one with his chopsticks, his large hand expertly working the sticks like a pro and for some reason, it’s a huge turn-on for me. Since I’m inept at using chopsticks, I default to my fork, feeling a little foolish.

“Are you ready to dive into being seriously exclusive?” he asks, taking a mouthful of what looks like a beef and broccoli dumpling.

“I am.”

“Good.” He holds up his next dumpling and says, “Tell me about your ex.”

I should have known that was coming, but to ask so early in the evening? Risky.

“Going right for it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, because I want to get it out of the way. Get it off your chest, then we can move on. Tell me the kind of dickhead he was.”

He has a point. I knew the question was going to be asked tonight. It’s part of getting serious with him, we dig deeper, find out more personal things about each other. I would rather get this over with too than let it hang over our date.

“I met Neil when I was a freshman in high school and was immediately enamored. He was the first boy to ever look at me like I was pretty, the first boy to kiss me, the first to . . . have sex with me.” Knox’s jaw grows tight, but he doesn’t say anything. “I quickly fell in love. I let him consume me. Everything Neil did was perfect, and I wanted to be a part of it, even if it meant ditching my friends on several occasions or setting my dreams aside so he could follow his. At first, he was sweet and supportive; he had an addictive personality. Fun and outgoing, obnoxious at times, but always knew how to rein it back in. I became very attached.”

“That’s why you stayed in California to go to school, because of him?”

I nod. “I applied to schools he was applying to and when he chose Cal State, I went with him, even though they didn’t have the program I wanted to major in. But I wanted to be near him. I needed to be near him. It came to a point where he felt like my safety blanket. I’d been with him that long. But once we got to college, things started to get tense between us.”

“How so?” Knox asks. I can see he’s agitated in the high set of his shoulders, but his voice is soothing, even . . . interested. Neil never had the kind of self-control Knox shows. It’s one of the many differences about them.

“He wanted to do things I didn’t. He started to get into drugs, saying it was college and we won’t have any other time to experiment. That wasn’t for me though, so he’d go to parties without me while I stayed at home studying. He took advantage of that, how I take longer to learn something. Whenever I said I needed to study, he’d be out. And then one night, when I finished studying early and wanted to surprise him, I found him in bed with another girl.”

Knox shakes his head. “What a stupid fuck.”

“I didn’t think so at first. I thought that maybe it was me, that I wasn’t giving him the attention he needed, but I quickly realized that wasn’t the case. He was a selfish prick, and I deserved better. I deserved more.”

“You do, you deserve so much more than him.”

“Yes. I know that now. After breaking up, I finished out the semester and applied to Brentwood. I got in, called up my girls asking if I could room with them, and then I slapped you in the face with a campus map. The rest is history.”

“Do you miss him?”

“Neil?” I shake my head. “No. I don’t miss him. There’s a part of me that misses his friendship though, because in high school, he was my best friend. Losing that was really painful.”

“And that’s why rule number one exists, right?”

I take a bite of my dumpling. “Yeah, it is. Once I started to get to know you and realized how much I actually liked being around you, it reminded me of what happened with Neil. It’s why I was so hesitant, Knox, why I don’t ever want to lose our friendship. I don’t just think you’re hot or the sweetest guy I’ve ever met, I actually like you as a friend and want to hang out with you.” I shrug, feeling really vulnerable. “I feel good when I’m with you, and I don’t want to lose that.”

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not.” I finish off my dumpling. Chew. Swallow. Then, I ask, “So, no exes in your life I need to worry about?”

“Nope. You might have to fight off some groupies, but there are no exes in my life.”

“Groupies? Really?”

“Come springtime, things get crazy. The locker room hussies, looking for that golden ticket. It’s ridiculous.”

“Ah, the locker room.” I take a sip of my tea. “Ever consider taking me there?” I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

“Do you want to go there?” he asks, surprised.

“Have sex in a stinky, sweat-soaked room? I’ll pass.”

“It’s a lot nicer than that. It’s like a major league clubhouse. They treat us well because we bring in good money to the school.” He cuts open another dumpling. “So, no comments on the no exes thing?”

“Not really, should I have some?”

“Don’t girls freak out about being the first girl a guy’s been in a relationship with?”

“Not me.” And that’s the truth. “If you were a douchebag, maybe, but you’re sweet. You’ve been nothing but a gentleman to me, so why do I need to worry?”