The Lobotomist's Wife(55)
It was around time for afternoon snack, so Ruth went to the dining hall, hoping to see several patients all at once, but she had miscalculated, and the room was almost empty. She scanned the tables and noticed a man sitting in the corner alone. He sat hunched over his tray, his gray hair untidily hanging down, obscuring his face. His long, elegant fingers rhythmically lifted a teapot that sat on the table in front of him, pouring imaginary tea into a cup and saucer. Ruth watched him do this for what felt like several minutes before she realized who she was looking at. Her chest tightened as a stunned panic rose inside her.
“Albert, Albert Burdell? Is that you, my dear friend?” The man looked up and squinted at Ruth, a blank expression on his face. “It’s me, Ruth Apter. Remember?” She approached him tentatively. When she reached the table, she slowly pulled out a chair. “May I join you?” She tried to hide her shock at his unkempt appearance.
He looked at her with a vacant expression. Was it possible that he really didn’t know who she was? Her heart sank. Had she abandoned him for so long that he didn’t remember?
“Want some tea?” he asked her matter-of-factly.
“Oh yes, I would love some, thank you. Let me go and get myself a cup.”
“No, here.” He slid his cup toward her and began to pour from his empty teapot. “Careful,” he warned. “It’s hot.”
She looked at him with a frozen smile. How could this be the same man she used to have intense debates with about Sartre and Camus, and the nature of human relationships?
“Thank you for the tea, Albert. Don’t you remember me at all? We used to go for walks together in the garden and talk about all the books you’ve read. We were very good friends.” She tried to lock eyes with him, but when she did, she saw only emptiness behind his brown irises. She racked her mind to remember when she had actually last seen him. His lobotomy happened during the height of the Haddington scandal. She had been so preoccupied. What an awful person she had become that she was so engulfed by her role as the new head of the hospital that she had all but forgotten about her most treasured patients. She was disgusted with herself.
“Nope. I don’t go for many walks.” He took the mug away from her and refilled it with more imaginary liquid.
Ruth watched him, her heart breaking. “You’re sure you don’t remember me? Ruth Apter?”
He shook his head no and looked apologetic, like a child who knew he had done something wrong.
“It’s all right. I’m sure you see lots and lots of people in this hospital. It is a busy place.”
“Yes, very busy. Lots of people. That’s why I stay here. More?” He handed her the cup again.
Ruth heard the noise of the last few dishes being cleared from the dining tables, and then a nurse approached them. “Mrs. Apter, what brings you to us today?”
“Hello, Nurse Pauline. I came to visit with some of my old friends. It’s been too long since I’ve seen them.” She smiled at Albert and then stood. “Albert, thank you so much for the delicious tea. If it’s all right, I would love to come back and have some more another day.”
“Sure,” he said flatly.
“Nurse, may I have a word?”
“Of course, Mrs. Apter. Albert, gather your things, I’ll take you back to your room when I’m finished with Mrs. Apter, okay?” He nodded.
Ruth walked to the door of the dining hall, out of Albert’s earshot. “What happened to him?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Nurse Pauline looked at her blankly.
“Did he have a recent breakdown? He seems to have deteriorated significantly since I last saw him.”
“Really? He seems the same to me. Same as he’s been for years.”
“Years?” Ruth realized it really had been years since she had visited Albert.
“Gentle as a lamb. Could spend all day every day with that teapot. We all do miss the piano, though. Tried to get him to play, but he just bangs on the keys like a child. It’s a shame. But I suppose that’s what happens.”
“That’s what happens?”
“Sure, most of the people who stay in here after are like this. Sometimes we joke that our job is more like baby nursing than taking care of adults.” Pauline smiled as Ruth looked at her in shock. This was nothing like the reports she received from Robert about his lobotomies. Yes, she knew many patients remained at the hospital who hadn’t been cured as entirely as they had hoped, but like this? Albert Burdell’s personality was obliterated entirely.
“Is there anything else I can help you with, Mrs. Apter? I do want to get Albert back for a little rest. He tends to get quite fussy without enough sleep.” She smiled. “See what I mean? Like a baby.”
“No, no, nothing more. Thank you, Pauline. Keep up the good work. You are a gift to these patients.”
Ruth immediately made her way back to her office in a stupor, feeling entirely unmoored. This wasn’t how lobotomy was supposed to work. What had gone wrong?
Once in her office, she took out a pad and began to write a list. When she got to thirty names, she picked up the phone.
“Mr. Mandrake, I hope I didn’t interrupt you in the middle of something,” she said apologetically as her assistant superintendent entered her office.
“Not at all, Mrs. Apter. Was just some paperwork that can wait. What can I help you with?”