The Light Between Oceans(41)

‘When I think back to how she lost the baby …’

Tom gave an imperceptible start, but Ralph went on, ‘… that first time. It was like seeing a ghost when I came out to Janus. And the second was worse.’

‘Yeah. They were hard times for her.’

‘Oh well, God comes good in the end, doesn’t he?’ Ralph smiled.

‘Does he, Ralph? He can’t come good for everyone, can he? Couldn’t come good for Fritz as well as us, say …’

‘That’s no way to be talking, boy. He’s come good for you!’

Tom loosened his tie and collar – suddenly the bar felt stifling.

‘You all right, mate?’ asked Ralph.

‘Stuffy in here. Think I’ll go for a bit of a wander.’ But outside was no better. The air seemed solid, like molten glass that suffocated him rather than letting him breathe.

If he could talk to Isabel alone, calmly … Things would be all right. It could be all right, somehow. He drew himself up, taking a deep breath, and walked slowly back into the hotel.



‘She’s fast asleep,’ said Isabel as she closed the door to the bedroom, where the child lay surrounded by pillows to keep her from rolling off the edge of the bed. ‘She was so good today. Got through the whole christening, with all those people. Only cried when she got wet.’ As the day went on, her voice had lost the tremor it had acquired with Hilda’s revelation.

‘Oh, she’s an angel,’ said Violet, smiling. ‘I don’t know what we’ll do with ourselves when she goes back tomorrow.’

‘I know. But I promise I’ll write, and tell you all her news,’ Isabel said, and gave a sigh. ‘We’d better turn in, I suppose. Got to be up at the crack of dawn for the boat. Coming, Tom?’

Tom gave a nod. ‘Night, Violet. Night, Bill,’ he said, and left them to their jigsaw puzzle as he followed Isabel into the bedroom.

It was the first time they had been alone together all day, and as soon as the door was closed, he demanded, ‘When are we going to tell them?’ His face was tight, his shoulders stiff.

‘We’re not,’ replied Isabel, in an urgent whisper.

‘What do you mean?’

‘We need to think, Tom. We need time. We have to leave tomorrow. All hell will break loose if we say anything, and you’re supposed to be back on duty tomorrow night. We’ll work out what to do once we get back to Janus. We mustn’t rush into something we’ll regret.’

‘Izz, there’s a woman here in town who thinks her daughter’s dead when she’s alive; who doesn’t know what happened to her husband. God knows what she’s been through. The sooner we put her out of her misery—’

‘It’s all such a shock. We have to do the right thing, not just by Hannah Potts, but by Lucy as well. Please, Tom. Neither of us can think straight at the moment. Let’s take this slowly. Right now, let’s just try to get a bit of sleep before the morning.’

‘I’ll turn in later,’ he said. ‘I need some fresh air,’ and he slipped quietly out on to the back verandah, ignoring Isabel’s plea to stay.



Outside it was cooler, and Tom sat in the darkness in a cane chair, his head in his hands. Through the kitchen window, he could hear the clack-clack as Bill put the last pieces of the jigsaw back into its wooden box. ‘Isabel seems so keen to get back to Janus. Says she’s not good with crowds any more,’ Bill said as he put the lid on. ‘You’d be hard pressed to muster a real crowd this side of Perth.’

Violet was trimming the wick of the kerosene lamp. ‘Well, she always was highly strung,’ she mused. ‘Between you and me, I think she just wants to have Lucy all to herself.’ She sighed. ‘It’ll be quiet without the little one around.’

Bill put his arm around Violet’s shoulders. ‘Brings back memories, doesn’t it? Remember Hugh and Alfie when they were tots? Grand little fellas, they were.’ He chuckled. ‘Remember that time they shut the cat in the cupboard for days?’ He paused. ‘It’s not the same, I know, but being a grandfather’s the next best thing, isn’t it? The next best thing to having the boys back.’

Violet lit the lamp. ‘There were times I didn’t think we’d get through it all, Bill. Didn’t think we could ever have another day’s happiness.’ She blew out the match. ‘Such a blessing, at last.’ Replacing the glass shade, she guided the way to bed.

The words reverberated in Tom’s mind as he breathed in the night jasmine, its sweetness oblivious to his desperation.





CHAPTER 16



THE FIRST NIGHT back on Janus, the wind howled around the lantern room, pushing at the thick panes of glass in the tower, testing for some weak spot. As Tom lit up, his mind went over and over the argument he had had with Isabel as soon as the store boat had left.

She had been unmovable: ‘We can’t undo what’s happened, Tom. Don’t you think I’ve been trying to find an answer?’ She was clasping the doll she had just picked up from the floor, hugging it to her chest. ‘Lucy’s a happy, healthy little girl. Ripping her away now would be – oh Tom, it’d be horrible!’ She had been folding sheets into the linen press, pacing to and fro between the basket and the cupboard. ‘For better or worse, Tom, we did what we did. Lucy adores you and you adore her and you don’t have the right to deprive her of a loving father.’