The Kraken's Sacrifice (A Deal With a Demon #2)(22)

Ghosts I’m not ready to release. Ghosts I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to release.

Brant was the love of my life. This human woman, who I’ve only known a short time, cannot replace that or take that away, but that doesn’t change the fact she affects me like no one else has since his death.

It scares me.

If I knock on this door, if she admits me, I don’t know how the interaction will go. Will we snipe at each other? Will we manage a normal conversation? Or will she provoke me and then entice me and then disable what little control I have when I’m around her?

I can still taste her on my tongue, hear her cries of pleasure ringing in my ears. My desire puts a tremor in my hands. I want to touch her with a ferocity that borders on need. I can’t guarantee I won’t do exactly that if we get close again.

Because I can’t guarantee it, I lower my fist and turn away from the door. Catalina’s needs will be seen to. I don’t need to be present to ensure it happens.

In fact, my absence will serve her further.

I turn and move away.





10





CATALINA





It has been weeks since I’ve seen Thane. At least my treatment has changed significantly since Ramanu first arrived like a crimson wrecking ball. The food has become significantly more delicious, even if it leans heavily toward fish. Embry, Thane’s sibling and heir to the territory, arrived the next day with more clothing than I know what to do with. Very little of it is practical, but that’s fine.

I’m not a practical person.

Ramanu has been showing up every other day, and even though I know it’s out of pity, I don’t care. I’m starved for company, and their company is delightful.

Even if it’s not the company I crave.

We wander the halls, and they entertain me with stories of kraken monarchs from times past. Apparently there’s been some truly questionable ones. In turn, I select my most amusing life stories, strip them of anything that might be worrisome, and share those.

We stay away from the underwater passages and climb to the top of the tower, poking and prodding in every room we come across. The ones that aren’t empty contain furniture even dustier than the room I made my own that first week. It couldn’t be clearer that this place has been abandoned.

Fitting that Thane stuffed me here and, for all intents and purposes, appears to have forgotten me as well.

I try to make friends with the staff—Annis and Della—but they’re horrified by my overtures. I can’t figure out if it’s because I’m human or a guest or just me, but they refuse to let me help with any of their tasks, and they all but run me out of the kitchen when I ask to take my meals with them.

Even with Ramanu’s visits, I am . . . so alone.

I should be satisfied with the fact that I’m safe enough, clothed, and fed. If I’m lonely, I still have a better life than a lot of people have. But a locked tower isn’t much better than a locked room, and I have too much time on my hands.

I go so far as to stare out my window and consider just how far I’d have to swim to escape. There are a few islands in the distance, one of which I think might be where the keep is, and an even bigger landmass that’s so far away, it’s barely a smudge on the horizon.

Too far. All of them, too damned far.

Even if I could swim, I would have to brave all that open space to leave. I’ve watched enough Shark Week to know just what an ocean predator can do to its prey, and I’m sure whatever these seas have to offer are so much more dangerous.

Trapped. I’m fucking trapped. A rat in a cage. A wolf in a trap. It doesn’t matter how often I pace the perimeter or how many times I climb to the roof. There is nowhere to go.

Worst of all, I can’t stop thinking about Thane.

Which is why I’m here, braving the truly over-the-top staircase to the cavern where he brought me the first day. It’s dark down here and even damper than the rest of the tower. Below me, I hear water licking against stone.

Fear surges and I laugh, as if I can keep it at bay with sheer bravado. “Thane!” It’s late in the day. This is obviously his home, for all that he’s been avoiding the parts of it where he might run into me. He must be close.

Either that, or I’m making an even bigger fool of myself than normal.

If I had even the tiniest bit of self-preservation, I’d likely find his absence a relief. He’s distant, and even though he’s obviously attracted to me, he doesn’t like me. He sure as hell doesn’t approve of me. Also, he’s half tentacles, but that’s honestly the least questionable thing about him. I don’t know what it says about my current state of mind that this is my list of priorities.

Since I’ve never been the cautious type, here I am, singing his name at ever-increasing pitches as I descend the stone stairs into darkness. I reach the bottom of the stairs and refuse to admit how my thighs quiver a little from the effort. I can dance all night and drink my weight in tequila, but I skip the stair machine on my infrequent trips to the gym. Even the trips to the roof aren’t enough to actually build up my endurance. The thought of having to climb all those stairs again to get out of here makes my recklessness surge.

I’m going to feel really silly if Thane doesn’t show and I have to sleep down here, but . . .