The Kingmaker (All the King's Men, #1)(79)

I lower my eyes and draw a deep breath.

“Very safe,” Wallace answers, his voice quiet and sure. “I would never do anything to put Lenny in danger.”

He takes my hand on the table and squeezes, bathing me in the warm affection of his smile. He bends to kiss my forehead, and I know to others, it looks intimate, and it is. It’s the intimacy of a decade-long friendship that has survived bad sex with each other and broken hearts with other people, and still managed to hold fast. I blink rapidly, moved by Wallace’s unconditional friendship and still breathless from the direct look I shared with Maxim, like the airbags have deployed and punched me in the chest. Will I be bruised tomorrow?

“Well that’s really cool,” Owen says, smiling at Wallace. “Sounds like you’re as passionate about helping people as Lennix is.”

Wallace and I lace our fingers tightly, and I know he hopes they will move on to something else as much as I do. It doesn’t take long for them to turn back to discussing the latest gossip on the Hill and dissecting every season of Game of Thrones. We share a quick chuckle, and when I look up, Maxim’s eyes are fixed to the point where Wallace and I still hold hands.

“Guess I’m not such a bad beard after all,” Wallace whispers in my ear. “Maxim looks convinced. Maybe he’ll move on and find some other girl to fill his time while he’s here in DC.”

“Probably,” I say around a knot in my throat. “We did good.”

I thought I’d feel relief that he believes I’m taken, but I don’t. I’ll have to examine the contrariness of my emotions when I’m alone. I’ve already shown too much.

We make it through the next two delicious courses before Owen stands and starts speaking.

“Eat.” He waves at the table, urging everyone to continue with their meal. “This isn’t a formal meeting. I’m sure Kimba and Lennix will have plenty of those ahead of us.”

Everyone chuckles and keeps eating, dividing attention between their plates and their new candidate.

“Thank you all for coming. Mill and I wanted to have you here in our home,” Owen continues. “To have you meet our kids, Darcy and Elijah, and my brother, Maxim, who’ll be pivotal in our strategy. For some reason, people love this guy. I don’t get it.”

Maxim shoots him a wry look before dropping his eyes back to his plate, his mouth set into a firm line. For a second, I feel awful for ignoring him, deceiving him, but I have to protect myself. I know how it feels to hurt for that man. I won’t do it again.

“Lennix and Kimba,” Owen says, jerking me out of my thoughts. “anything you’d like to say?”

Kimba hates public speaking of any kind. She gives me a nod and the look that says girl, don’t even. With a sigh, I take a deep gulp of my water and stand. I search the faces of the men and women assembled around the table, and I search for what I should say.

“My mother once said injustice never rests and neither will I.” A sad little twist of my lips is as close as I can come to a smile. “She was an agitator. One of my earliest memories is of her hoisting me onto her shoulders at a protest. It’s in my blood.”

I find and hold every set of eyes on my team. “I’m counting on it being in yours, too. We have a remarkable candidate in Senator Cade, one I know we can all get behind. It’s no secret that Kimba and I have made our life’s work empowering candidates who will champion the causes of the marginalized. That’s what gets me out of bed every morning. It has been my complete focus for the last ten years, since I left college.”

Maxim’s stare singes a hole in me, but I ignore it and go on.

“On this journey, there will be times when we think we’re losing. Things will happen we never saw coming and aren’t sure how to negotiate. There will be times when we want to give up, but I descend from a long line of warriors. The Apache were the last to surrender. I take a certain amount of pride in that. I embrace it as part of who I am and how I fight.”

I look down the table to Owen. “I’ll fight for you, Senator Cade, because I trust you to fight for the people I dedicate my life to serve. Every person sitting at this table was selected for not only their brilliant mind, but for their fighter’s heart. You’re a dream candidate, but we’re a dream team.” I allow the smallest smile to bend my lips before softly saying, “Don’t let us down.”

My team cheers. Owen offers a solemn smile from his end of the table, and his wife studies me with new interest, her eyes darting between her brother-in-law and me. I sit and reach for my glass of water, praying this will end soon so I can go home.

It’s only a blessed half hour before things start breaking up. A nanny comes to take the twins upstairs. The staff clear away the remnants of our last course and everyone starts collecting their coats and saying their goodbyes.

Wallace is sliding my coat onto my shoulders when Maxim walks over. He just stands there. I sense him, even though I don’t look up from my Stuart Weitzman pumps. The silence encompasses the three of us, wrapping around and restraining me like barbed wire biting into my flesh.

“Can I have a word before you go, Lennix?” Maxim finally asks, his voice subdued.

A word. He means to bundle me off to Owen’s office or to the library. He’ll whittle my resistance down to a nub. He’ll make me forget he lied and that I shouldn’t allow him within ten paces of my body or heart. He wants to remind me how he feels and smells and tastes. He used to camouflage the wolf, but not anymore. He’s tamed his hair, cut the burnished waves that used to nearly kiss his shoulders, but his spirit is still wild, howling on some frequency I shouldn’t be tuned into, but I am. He’s now completely wolf and unashamedly Cade. He’s still the rebel, and I’m afraid I’m no more able to resist him than I was in that conference room a decade ago.