The King (Black Dagger Brotherhood #12)(26)

“Leelan—”

“My ice cream is melting,” she muttered as she went over and picked up the tray. “It would make my night if any of you three would get real with me. But I shouldn’t hold my breath for that, should I.”

As she marched off, the sense of foreboding that followed her was nothing new—ever since Wrath had been shot, she’d felt like another shoe was going to drop at any moment, and gee, seeing her brother on the carpet did so much to improve that paranoia.

Not.

Coming up to the door that had been Blay’s before he’d moved in with Qhuinn, she pulled herself together.

It didn’t work, but she knocked anyway. “Layla?”

“Come in,” was the muffled reply.

Balancing the tray awkwardly on her hip, it was hard to get a good hold on the knob—

Payne, V’s sister, opened things up with a smile. And man, she was an impressive presence, especially in all that black leather: She was the only female on rotation to fight in the field with the Brothers—and she must have just come home from a shift.

“Good evening, my queen.”

“Oh, thanks.” Beth hitched her load up and entered the lavender bedroom. “I’m bringing provisions.”

Payne shook her head. “I rather think it’s going to be necessary. I can’t imagine there’s anything left in her stomach—in fact, I believe she’s evacuated all the food she ate last week, too.”

As retching sounds drifted out of the bathroom, they both winced.

Beth eyed the bowl of Breyers. “Maybe I should come back later—”

“Don’t you dare,” the Chosen called out. “I feel great!”

“Doesn’t sound that way—”

“I’m hungry! Don’t you dare leave.”

Payne shrugged. “She has an amazing attitude. I come in here to get inspired—although not to go into my needing, which is why I need to leave now.”

While V’s sister shuddered again, like a female’s cycle and the whole baby thing was nothing she was interested in, Beth put the tray on top of an antique bureau. “Well, actually … that’s what I’m hoping for.”

Payne’s poleaxed expression made her curse. “What I mean is … um…”

Yeah, how to dig her way out of this one.

“You and Wrath are going to have a young?”

“No, no, no—hold on.” As she put her palms up, she tried to develop a bailout plan. “Ah…”

Payne’s embrace was fast as a gust and as strong as a male’s, crushing the breath out of Beth’s lungs. “This is wonderful news—”

Beth pushed her way out of those iron bars. “Actually, we’re not there yet. I’m just … look, don’t tell Wrath I’m in here, okay?”

“So you want to surprise him! How romantic!”

“Yeah, he’ll be surprised, all right.” As Payne gave her a strange look, Beth shook her head. “Look, to be honest, I don’t know that my needing will necessarily be good news.”

“An heir to the throne could really help him, though. If you’re thinking politically.”

“I’m not and I never will.” Beth put her hand on her stomach and tried to imagine something other than three squares and a couple of desserts in it. “I just … really want a baby, and I’m not sure he’s on board. If it happens, though … well, maybe it’ll be a good thing.”

Actually, he’d told her once he didn’t see children in their future. But that had been a while ago and …

Payne gave her shoulder a quick squeeze. “I’m happy for you—and I hope this works. But as I said, I better go, because if that old superstition is true, I don’t want to find myself in trouble.” She turned to the bathroom’s partially closed door. “Layla! I have to head out!”

“Thanks for coming by! Beth? You’re staying, yes?”

“Yup. I’m here for the duration.”

As Payne took off, Beth had too much energy to sit down, the idea that she was keeping something from Wrath not sitting well. Bottom line, they needed to talk this out; it was just a question of finding a good “when” for that.

And the whole needing/kid thing wasn’t the only thing hanging over her. That confron with Wrath and the boys still stung. Men. She loved the Brotherhood—each one of them would lay down his life for her and had always put their flesh and blood where it counted with Wrath. But sometimes the all-for-one, one-for-all stuff drove her nuts—

More heaving. To the point where Beth winced and put her face in her hands.

Get ready for this, she told herself. It’s all well and good to have delusions of dollies and plush toys, cooing and cuddles, but there was a ground level to parenting—and pregnancy—that she’d better be prepared to handle.

Although at this rate, her needing didn’t seem to be in a big hurry to show up. She’d been in here every night for how long? And yeah, she was feeling hormonal—or it could be that life was just really hard right now.

Yeah, ’cuz that’s exactly when you start trying for a kid.

She must be insane.

Hitting the bed and stretching out her legs, she reached for her pint of Ben & Jerry’s and attacked it with her spoon. Stabbing into the carton, she dug out the chocolate chunks and ground them between her molars, not particularly tasting anything.