The Keeper of Night (The Keeper of Night #1)(102)

My ears burned with the memory of Neven calling for me as the guards dragged him away. He had cried for me...and I had turned away from him.

The lock on my bones unlatched and I collapsed onto my forearms, letting out an inhuman sound of despair. The floorboards quivered at the violent noise, the taste of Death like bile on my tongue.

“Ren,” Hiro said, kneeling down before me. “I thought—”

But he never finished his sentence, because I lunged and shoved him into the ceremonial table, the back of his skull hitting the edge with a dull thunk. Flowers and sacred texts spilled across the floor, and the darkness swirled with a sudden swarm of shadow guards.

Hiro held up a hand to stop them.

“Do not interfere,” he said. “I’m fine.”

His calmness only enraged me more, and I yanked him up by the collar again, then smashed him into the ground. I felt Death surging through my veins, my blood boiling, skin turning translucent.

“He was always going to get in our way, Ren,” Hiro said, turning his head as I tried to score my nails through his eyes. “I know that you’re upset now, but soon you will see that this was necessary. You will forget him in your eternity as a goddess.”

“I could never forget him!” I said, curling my hand into a fist and aiming a punch that would have shattered his cheekbone, but he caught my hand easily.

“You think that I never lost anyone?” he said, his fingers tightening around my wrist. “I had siblings, too, Ren. But centuries mean nothing in the face of eternity. I can’t even remember their faces. In our time as gods, this will only be a sentence of your endless story. But our love will be eternal.”

My hands shook, horrified by the sincerity in Hiro’s voice.

“I don’t love you,” I said.

“Yes, you do,” Hiro said, like it was an absolute truth. I thrashed against his hands and tried to break away because he was right and he knew it. Was this curse really the love that humans spent their whole lives seeking? They could have it. I didn’t want it at all.

I lunged for his throat, ready to snap his neck, but he grabbed my hands again before I could.

“That’s enough, Ren,” he said.

I wrenched my arms away and managed to scratch his face before he grabbed my wrists, this time with more force, snapping them both. I bit down on a sound of pain as the bones healed themselves.

“I said that’s enough,” he said. “It’s time to finish the ceremony.”

I spat in his face. “If you marry me, I’ll kill you the moment you close your eyes,” I said. “Keep me in your bed and you’ll never sleep again.”

He sighed and pulled me to my feet, wiping his face on his sleeve.

Then his fingers closed around my throat, the darkness plummeting pitch-black all around us, the crowds gone, the shrine evaporated. I felt like my bones turned to dust under the crushing pressure of Death. I hung limp in his grip, suspended by my throat.

“Do you really believe you could kill me, Ren?” Hiro said. “You live because I allow it.”

Then the pressure vanished and I collapsed to the floor, wanting to cry for the death of the Hiro that I’d known.

“This has gone on long enough,” Hiro said. “Guards, kindly help Ren complete the ceremony.”

The shadows wrapped around my arms like sleeves, hauling me to my feet and dragging me forward. Other shadows retrieved the cup I’d cast aside and refilled it with sake. They brought it closer to my face, but I jerked my head away, spilling it down the front of my dress.

My gaze fell on the ceremonial candles flickering on the table. More sake splashed down my neck as the guards tried again, but I stretched a hand out toward the candles and poured all the light inside me into its flame, every bit of warmth and brightness somewhere deep inside the dark cage of my heart.

The light blasted away the darkness, stripping it clean off the floorboards of the shrine. The shadow guards disintegrated under the onslaught of light, releasing my arms.

Hiro stood unmoving by the table, his lips pressed tightly together. Under the violent brightness of my artificial daylight, he looked paler against his black clothes, almost like the dead that wailed and shielded their eyes from the light.

“What a nice party trick, Ren,” Hiro said. “It may work on my guards, but it won’t work on me.”

I barely dodged his hand as he reached for my throat, his nails scoring lines on my skin. I backed up against the half walls of the shrine, nearly tumbling backward over the edge. Hiro strode closer with the unhurried pace of someone who knew they were going to win.

I reached for my clock, and Hiro didn’t try to stop me. But as my fingers touched the fabric where my pocket was supposed to be, I realized why he hadn’t interfered.

“Where is Neven’s clock?” I said. We’d passed through the throne room where I’d dropped it, but the floor had been swept clean.

“You gave it up, Ren,” Hiro said, smirking. “Don’t you remember how you wanted to be a Shinigami?”

“Where is it?” I said, bracing myself against the columns as Hiro drew closer.

“You don’t need it anymore,” he said.

I shook my head. The darkness spun around me, and maybe Hiro was drowning me in the night or maybe I was just fainting, but none of it mattered because I had lost. I was going to spend eternity as Hiro’s prisoner, all because I’d wanted power. My hands shook, but there was nothing to hold on to. I thought of the dagger in my belt and wondered if Hiro would stop me from plunging it into my own heart. I deserved death even more than he did.