The Inmate (72)

“Hey,” Shane says to Josh, “you want to see inside?”

“Sure!”

I open my mouth to protest, but Shane and Josh are already climbing out of the car. I’m so angry at Shane right now, I want to scream. We had an agreement. I told him I would drop him off here and then leave. But if my son is going into the house, I obviously can’t leave. So I have no choice but to hurry after them.

I start to yell at Shane to be careful about the steps, but without having to be told, Shane helps Josh up the four stairs to the front door, making sure he doesn’t slip or fall. I follow behind, gripping the handrail to keep from sliding off the icy stairs myself. Shane digs around in his pocket for a key, which he fits into the front door. As he’s unlocking the door, I feel a sick sense of déjà vu, from back when Shane and I were dating and he brought me back to his house a few times.

“Shane…” I say.

“Let’s just take a quick look around,” he says.

He struggles a little to get the door open, between the wood being splintered and rotten, and the entire front of the house being frozen. He has to put all his weight against the door, but it finally pops open. And then, against my better judgment, we step inside.

The inside of the house is just as cold as the outside. There’s no power, but since it’s daytime, it’s not as dark as it was that night eleven years ago. There are cobwebs stuck to the ceiling, and all the furniture is coated in a thick layer of dust. The smell of frost and mildew permeates the air.

But at least it’s better than sandalwood.

“Geez.” Shane looks around. “This place has sure seen better days.”

My gaze strays to the area in front of the stairwell. That’s where it happened. That’s where Tim tried to strangle me with my own necklace.

Josh runs a finger along the sofa. He holds up his fingertip, which is now coated in black. “Look, Mom!”

“Yes, it’s dirty.”

“The sofa is a lost cause,” Shane says. “But I could clean up the floor. And the kitchen…”

He’s looking at me hopefully. He wants my help. He needs my help. It’s going to take him the rest of his life to get this place cleaned up on his own. And now that I’m inside and I’m not actively having a panic attack, maybe this won’t be as bad as I think it’s going to be. Maybe I’ll finally get over what happened here that night.

Maybe it will help me heal.

“Okay, we can stay here a couple of hours,” I say. “And that’s it.”

Shane nods eagerly. “Thanks so much, Brooke.”

“All right,” I say. “Let’s go get the cleaning supplies.”





Chapter 50


The three of us clean as a family.

Even Josh gets into it. He hates cleaning his room, but this is more of a cleaning adventure. You have no idea what disgusting nugget you’re going to find around every corner. For example, in an empty garbage can in the kitchen, we find a frozen rat. It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, but Josh gets a real kick out of it. And Shane gets a kick out of him getting a kick out of it.

“Please get rid of that rat,” I mutter to Shane. “I don’t want him trying to take it home to show his friends.”

Shane laughs. “You definitely understand the mindset of the ten-year-old boy.”

Unfortunately, after about two hours of cleaning, we have released a fair amount of dust into the air, and Josh can’t stop sneezing. His nose turns red and his eyes are watering.

“I think you need to go outside,” I tell him. “Get some fresh air.”

“Actually,” Shane says, “we could take a walk. The woods right around here are really cool during the winter. We could even build a snowman. What do you say, Josh?”

“Sure,” Josh agrees.

I shake my head. “It’s too cold. I don’t want to wander around in the woods.”

Shane glances over at Josh and then looks back at me. “Well, I could take him myself if you want to stay behind.”

An alarm bell goes off in my head. Don’t let him do this. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

Shane looks at me for a moment, his eyes darkening. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not safe.”

“It’s perfectly safe.” He frowns. “I used to go through these woods all the time when I was his age. By myself. And I’ll be with him—I’ll look out for him.”

“I know but—”

“I’ll keep him safe.” Shane’s face turns slightly pink. “Don’t you trust me?”

Do I?

I was the one who made sure Shane got released from prison. I invited him back into our lives. He’s my son’s father. He’s our chance at being a family again, and if I can’t trust him, I have much bigger problems than the two of them taking a walk together in broad daylight.

Josh tugs on my arm. “I want to go, Mom.”

Even Josh wants to go. The two of them are finally bonding. It would be cruel to keep it from happening.

Shane reaches into his pocket and pulls out his flip phone I bought him. He shakes it in the air. “I’ve got my phone. You can reach me if you need to. And I’ve got your number if I need you.”