The House of Eve (60)

Dr. Avery entered the room. “Morning, Mrs. Pride. William. I’m sorry to disturb you.” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Eleanor didn’t even bother trying to pull her looks together for the doctor’s visit.

“Doc, it’s good to see you.” William took a step forward and shook his hand.

“Well, I wish it was under different circumstances. As we expected, the fetus was stillborn. She had no chance of survival.”

She. Eleanor had been right. She had been carrying her daughter. Dr. Avery’s lips continued to move, but his condolences did nothing to soothe her.

“I know you did everything you could, Doc. We’ll let Eleanor heal up a bit and then try again.”

Dr. Avery’s cheeks reddened. “Since this is your third miscarriage, Mrs. Pride, we recommend you don’t try again. The next time could be life-threatening.”

“You mean second,” William corrected. “It’s only her second.”

The doctor looked down at his notes, and then over at Eleanor for clarification. She sat stunned. Guilt and panic webbed together inside her chest, constricting the words from moving over the lump in her throat. She should have known it would come to this, her deed in the dark held up to the light for William to see.

Closing the clipboard, Dr. Avery dropped his eyes. “Again, I’m sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do.”

“I’m confused.” William looked from Dr. Avery to Eleanor.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” he said, backing out of the room.

Once the door clicked closed, William turned to her. “Elly, what’s going on? Why would he say third time?”

“Because.”

“Because what?” He moved in closer. So close she could see two-day-old stubble peppering his chin.

“I…” She trembled and her mouth went dry. It was the secret her mother had told her to take to her grave. No man wants to marry a soiled woman with damaged goods.

“I got pregnant in high school after my first time and lost that baby, too.”

William’s face rearranged itself as if she had sucker punched him. “But I thought you were a virgin.”

“I never said that.” She couldn’t look at him. It was true; she had not said it, but Eleanor was definitely guilty of implying it.

His nose flared and then he growled through gritted teeth. “How could you keep all of this from me?”

Eleanor had never seen him so upset and her hands flew to her face. “I just didn’t want you to look at me differently. I’m so sorry.”

William yanked up his jacket and tie from across the back of the chair. “I’m going to get some coffee.”

“Please wait,” she called out, but the door closed behind him with a thud.

Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks and Eleanor hugged her arms around herself. She didn’t know which part she was crying for most. The loss of this baby. The loss of three babies. William finding out that she had given herself to another man before they met. That look of betrayal in his eye when he stormed out. Or that a baby would never exist between them, bonding them for life.

William was gone for so long that Eleanor’s nurse had given her a sponge bath, checked her bleeding and changed her bed linen by the time he returned. Eleanor was wrapped in a clean robe and brushing her hair into a pin-up when he strolled through the door. He said nothing as he placed his empty coffee cup on the tray next to her and sat heavily in the chair beside the bed.

“Hey.” Eleanor folded her hands in her lap. She knew that she had to walk through the fire and tell William everything, but she was terrified that they might not make it through the flames.

“Did you eat?”

“Not much.”

“You need to keep your strength up.”

“William?” She finally caught his eye. “I had only known that I was pregnant for a short time. Before I could figure out what to do, I miscarried. My mother said that it was God giving me a second chance. She said I needed a fresh start, and that’s why I enrolled at Howard, instead of a university closer to home.”

William was silent. His jaws clenched.

“I’m sorry. It’s the only secret I’ve kept. Please forgive me.”

William twirled his wedding band around on his finger with his thumb. “It’s over and done with. All we can do now is focus on our future.”

Eleanor breathed a sigh of relief. William wasn’t going to leave her. They’d get through this together.

“No more secrets,” he said, as the nurse rolled in dinner. Lumpy mashed potatoes with meatballs, green salad, orange juice, and hot water for tea.

Once the nurse left, William stood. “I have to get to work. I’ll drop in to check on you when I can.” He pecked her on the forehead, but his lips barely grazed her skin.



* * *



That night Eleanor slept fitfully, and when she awakened William was not in his chair. A pitcher of water and a plastic cup sat on the nightstand, and she was reaching for it when she heard a knock at the door. She expected to see a nurse doing rounds, but when Eleanor looked up, an older white woman stood in the doorway.

“Hello, Mrs. Pride, my name is Mother Margaret,” the nun said, crossing the room with steady steps. She wore a black habit, and the skin under her chin hung just enough to make Eleanor think of a Thanksgiving Day turkey. A thick gold cross dangled across her chest.