The Horsewoman(56)

She crashed through the jump and took down all of them.





SIXTY-FIVE



DANIEL AND EMILIO got me off her as quickly as they could once we got to the schooling ring, Daniel crouching down immediately to inspect Sky’s front legs.

I stood a few feet away, watching. Not angry at myself. Not embarrassed the way Mom had been.

Just scared for my horse.

After what felt like an hour, Daniel stood and said, “She seems to be fine. But I know Doc Howser is on the grounds somewhere. I am going to text him and have him meet us back at the barn so he can take a look.” He paused. “Just to make sure.”

He pulled out his phone, jabbing at it with his index finger.

“Okay,” I said.

“She’s not limping,” Daniel said. “That’s the good news.”

“Okay,” I said.

I heard the buzz from Daniel’s phone. He looked down at his hand. “Doc is actually back near our barn. He can meet us there.”

He spoke quickly to Emilio in Spanish.

In English he said, “I’ll catch up.”

Daniel turned to me and said, “Do you want to come with me?”

“I’ll be as worried there as I am here,” I said. “Let me know when he says she’s okay.”

He nodded.

“I need a few minutes alone,” I said.

Emilio and Sky were already fifty yards in the distance. Daniel jogged after them. I climbed over the fence and crossed the narrow sidewalk to the ring across the way, sat down under the canopy on the small bleachers in there. I reached into a side pocket of my backpack, took out some warm Gatorade and drank it down.

I needed to think.

No, that wasn’t quite right.

I’d been thinking since the moment we were out of the International and had pretty much made up my mind. I just needed some space now, some distance between what had happened, some time to start breathing normally again.

Twenty minutes later I felt my phone buzzing.

Text from Daniel.

our girl is fine.

takes more than a rail.

I responded:

or 9…

Then he texted me again. He’d come meet me. When he made it to where I was sitting, he put a hand on my shoulder before sitting down next to me.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“About what?” I said.

“The way things turned out.”

I stood up, took off my helmet, shook my hair loose.

“Yeah,” I said. “I sucked big-time.”

“So that’s it? We’re done with the Grand Prix?”

“Are you drunk?” I said to Daniel. “You think we’re done after I realized tonight my horse was even more awesome than I knew?”

“I am confused,” he said.

“Lose the touchy-feely crap, Daniel,” I said. “We are so doing this.”





SIXTY-SIX



MOM DIDN’T RIDE AGAIN until Tuesday. I snuck over to Gus’s, with his permission, to watch her, parking a half mile up the road, walking the rest of the way, hiding in the barn once Mom and Gus were in the ring with Coronado, not just watching Mom back up on her horse, but watching Gus zip around the ring in his Zinger like he was gunning a motorcycle.

When I’d talked to Gus on the phone he’d said, “She’s talking about quitting.”

“She can’t,” I’d said.

“No shit, kid,” he’d said. “Not after practically stealing her horse back from her own goddamn daughter. She’d better make sure it was worth it.”

“How’s the vibe today?” I said now to Seamus, Gus’s top groom.

“A little narky, as we say back home,” he said.

“Which home?”

“Both,” he said.

Gus and Seamus had set the rails at one meter. Six of them scattered around the ring. Like bunny jumps. On the third one, Mom pulled up Coronado, and we watched her circle him. Just Mom and Gus and the horse in the ring. A nothing height to clear. And they still circled.

“It’s been like this near all morning,” Seamus said.

“Any theories about why?” I said.

“It’s like everything caught up with your mum,” he said. “Perfect storm. The accident and the injuries and probably coming back too soon. Then Saturday night capped things off. And then she was like an empty sack trying to stand.”

Mom put the horse in motion again. Pulled up on the fourth jump this time. Coronado just flat refusing. Circled again. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Didn’t know if I could handle seeing much more.

“She has no confidence,” I said.

“Not to be contrary or nuthin’,” Seamus said, “but I’m pretty certain people with no confidence at all have a wee bit more than her right now.”

She didn’t get down off her horse and walk out of the ring, I had to give her that. Wasn’t quitting, at least for now.

Then Gus and Mom and Coronado began to move slowly along the fence line, Gus in his chair, Mom sometimes having to pick up the pace to keep up. Gus seemed to be doing most of the talking. For once, he wasn’t using his bullhorn voice, so I couldn’t hear their exchange.