The Holiday Switch(63)
“Your quads? My lats,” Matt counters. “How’s your ankle, Teddy?”
I look at Teddy, mid sip of my iced tea. We’re at Poinsettia’s Pizza, snug in a booth. All around us are locals huddled around pies lifted up on stands. Only bits of cheese are left on our raised silver platters; two pies gone in fifteen minutes.
His ankle?
I can’t make out Teddy’s expression in the glare of the canned lights hanging from the ceiling. He didn’t mention an injury, despite the dozens of texts we exchanged today, mostly about Holiday by the Lake, which he started reading after our climbing session. When I walked into Poinsettia’s an hour ago, Teddy and his friends were already seated.
“It’s fine,” he says.
Except there’s a hitch to his tone.
“What happened?” I ask.
“I was bouldering. Just let go too quickly and twisted it when I landed. It isn’t a big deal.”
Jared snorts. “It sure was. I was clear across the gym and heard you yell after you flopped.” He claps his hands together for effect, and the couple in the booth behind him turns. Jared and Matt laugh, and Teddy snickers.
“I’ve got a brace on.” He shifts and directs my attention under the table, to a brace wrapped around his ankle. “I hurt it before, so I’m used to putting this on whenever I have to.”
“Not your head, though?”
“Nope.” His eyes flash a warning, and it takes me aback.
While the group moves on in the conversation, a leftover weird vibe runs between us; even as we pay and the other two head out, Teddy and I are left in an awkward silence.
After a beat, he speaks up. “You know, when I talked about my concussion, that was meant to be a secret.”
“I…I’m sorry. I was just concerned.”
“I get it.” He reaches out to take my hand and squeezes it. “But I didn’t tell you all that so you would worry about me. It’s why I picked a college that’s far enough away from my parents, and why I haven’t told Tita Lou. I want to be able to decide if I’m okay. I don’t want to be held back.”
One of the things about reading and blogging about so many books is that I’ve learned that everything has to be placed into context. Right now, in this context, I understand exactly what Teddy is saying, and yet, the words—I don’t want to be held back—land between us with an unavoidable thud.
Is this just about his secret? Or is it about us as a couple?
“Okay,” is all I can say.
He heaves a breath. “She’s going to see my brace.”
I still. “She?”
“Tita Lou. She’s going to ask what happened. And I…I don’t know what I’m going to say.”
“Where does she think you are?”
“Out.” His lips flatten into a line. “I don’t give her much information.”
“Then let her know that you were with me.” I smile.
“No, I don’t want to bring you into—”
I shake my head. “Just say we were sledding down Wonderhill. If she asks me about it tomorrow at work, I’ll cover for you.”
“Really?”
I nod. “Yes.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He brings my hand to his lips and kisses it. My worries from a few seconds ago dissipate. “With the New Year’s Eve event, things are more tense than usual. I do plan to tell her about the competition, maybe after New Year’s Eve. And about us, if that’s okay with you.”
“I…” It’s official, I have become the ice that’s melting in my iced tea. “It’s totally okay with me.”
“Good. Because I hate all of these secrets. And I just need a little more time, to strategize telling Tita Lou and my parents, about my climbing, and even this ankle. I hate being a liar and a hypocrite. But I also want to do this competition. My conscience, though…it’s killing me.” He rubs my knuckle with his thumb. “Being with you, and seeing how you are with your friends and family…I miss that. I miss having people who care about what I’m doing. And I realized it’s not because they don’t care, but it’s because I don’t let them in. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to find my way through this.”
“I know, Teddy.” I snuggle into him to show him my support, and he wraps an arm around my shoulder. He kisses me sweetly, but even the press of his lips doesn’t take away my own guilt.
Because I’m in the exact same boat.
What am I going to do about my secrets?
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 31
Finally, New Year’s Eve at the Lake is here! On my mother’s calendar, the date is circled in red, and Mom and I picked out our outfits yesterday. We got ready at 8:00 p.m., and now, at 10:00 p.m., our minivan rolls up Bookworm Drive after security checks our tickets partway up.
The driveway is lit by the red lights of the vehicles waiting their turn, and when we enter the parking lot, Chief Dasher welcomes each vehicle. Mom rolls down the window. “Hey, Chief!”
“Hi, Cat. There’s ample parking in the back, and you can go in the employee entrance since you have Lila with you.”
“Thank you!” Mom says, bypassing the cars weaseling their way through the small spaces and parking farther down. We touch up our makeup and grab our Holiday by the Lake books and our phones (I check twice to make sure I have the right one) before jumping out.