The Holiday Switch(57)

I catch his gaze. It’s not judgment I have, but empathy. To me, Teddy and climbing are synonymous. It’s his passion. “I’m not here to do that. I have my own secrets, remember?”

“You know, Lila, you should be telling the world that you’re Tinsel and Tropes.” Then, after a beat, his shoulders drop. “Then again, who am I to say, right? I haven’t owned up to my secrets. Although…I plan to tell my parents before the competition.”

“You do?”

He nods. “I’ve been thinking of the perfect time, but it hasn’t come up yet. Though I doubt they’ll want to support me after I tell them. I guess I didn’t plan out this far.”

“Listen, Teddy…” I take a breath and say what I would want to be said to me. “No matter what, I’ll be there for you.”

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, I do.”

A silence follows, and in that space, I realize that our friendship has grown leaps and bounds since our truce at the train depot. And despite our rough start, I accept him. I trust him.

It gives me the courage to share. “I don’t know what to do.” The words plop out of my mouth. “I mean…” I try again. “I thought I knew what I wanted to do. It seemed clear—to be in a career that would make me successful and financially comfortable. I’m good at science. I’m good with people. So why not a doctor? And yet—”

“You’re not feeling that way now?”

    “No. Yes. I don’t know. It’s what I put down on my college applications. It’s what I’ve told everyone. I got footed pajamas with stethoscopes on them for Christmas.”

“Those sound fun.” He leans back in his seat.

“They are. And it’s not as if I’m against the idea of being a doctor. I came up with it when…” I swallow the nerves creeping up my esophagus. My first instinct is to keep all of this in; after all, opportunity comes from struggle, and what’s done is done. But Teddy has been honest with me. Now it’s my turn.

So I press on. “I blog anonymously not to keep my identity secret from the rest of the world, but to keep it from my parents.”

“Your parents don’t know?”

I shake my head.

“They don’t want you to write?”

“No. I mean, it’s not that they don’t want me to write.” I shift in my chair, not from discomfort but to get my facts in order. “Four winters ago, there was an accident with my dad’s business,” I begin, and tell Teddy everything. The HelpFund, the doxing, the prank phone calls. The creepy guy. My parents’ rules. As I share, the weight on my shoulders decreases a smidge, and it allows me to dive into what it all means to me, today. “I’m sure my parents are digging their way out of it still, though they don’t complain. With so many of us kids, it has to be hard, right? I don’t want to be a burden. I want to help them in the future. Being a doctor, I thought, would get me there.”

“But you don’t think so anymore?”

I shrug. “Being a doctor should allow me to help them and my siblings. But can other things do that too? I’ve thought about it so much during the break that I even filled out an internship application for something that’s not remotely associated with premed.”

    He brightens, and with the curl of his lips, I can’t help but smile too. “You did?”

“Yeah. But, you see, nothing can come out of it. Even if I got in, which is a long shot, I can’t accept. What am I going to do? Tell my parents that I’ve been lying to them for two years? It’s a mess. I’m a mess.”

He rests a hand on my wrist. “Don’t say that. You’re far from it. You…You’re someone I admire.”

I peer at him, though inside, my heart has swelled three sizes. “What do you really want, Rivera? Are you asking me for another shift switch?”

“No, I mean it.” He laughs. “I ran away from home just so I could climb. And you—”

“I’m hiding things too.”

“But you’re still doing what you need to do with your family, with work. And you’re so loyal to this town. To this Inn, to my tita, And even to that freaking movie.” He gestures to the television.

I blush. “Well…thanks.”

The bells of the back door ring, halting our conversation. I exhale. It’s as if I’ve unloaded bricks off my shoulders. Like writing a blog post times one hundred, where I don’t realize I had so much to say until it’s all on the screen.

“Lila?” Ms. Velasco enters, then stops short. “Teddy, you’ve been here all this time?”

“Kept her company like you asked,” he answers.

“We were watching Holiday by the Lake,” I proudly say.

She smiles, though it doesn’t quite make it to her eyes; she’s exhausted. “That’s great. Clyde…He’s cleared the path, so you’re safe to get down the hill.”

“Yeah, I saw. I’ll clean up here and be on my way.”

    Her gaze slides over to Teddy. “I have to get back to the Inn, but—”

“I’ll help clean up,” Teddy supplies.

“Lila, I’ll see you at the event, right?”