The Holiday Swap(71)
She could see a slow dawning across his face. The old Cass, the one who had arrived in L.A. just a week earlier, would have turned tail and run away at this point, damn the consequences. But you are not the old Cass anymore. You can’t be, if you want to ever have a chance at being happy in life.
Cass took a deep breath. “It wasn’t Charlie you met that day at the Hive. It was me, Cass. It wasn’t Charlie who invited you to come visit the set, it was me. It was me you had dinner with at Fabrizio’s, me you took surfing, me who met your family, me who . . . who is standing here in front of you telling you that even though it was all a lie, the feelings I have for you are very real. And it’s me, Cass Goodwin, not Charlie who is—” She stepped toward him, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.
Was it a good sign that he didn’t pull away? That he kissed her back, and appeared to be as completely lost in the kiss as she was? She stopped thinking about anything after a moment except how good it always felt to kiss him. She pulled away and tried to memorize his face, the way he made her feel. He slowly opened his eyes.
“Char—Cass. I just . . .” He stepped back and dropped his arms, which had been holding her tight just moments before. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know. I understand. I’m not asking for forgiveness. I know you can’t. I know it was a violation of trust and that after starting out like this we can’t be together, but I needed you to know the truth before I drove back to Starlight Peak. I care about you, Miguel. This has been one of the most intense weeks of my life, and you helped me get through it. You made it amazing. I really needed to thank you in person for that. And to tell you how sorry I am that we didn’t have the kind of start that meant we could actually be something.”
He didn’t say anything. She knew there was really only one option—to say goodbye so he didn’t have to.
“Goodbye, Miguel,” she said in a wavering voice. Then she did the only thing that was left to do: she turned and walked out of the room.
* * *
? ? ?
The Prius crawled through L.A. traffic, but for once instead of feeling frustrated by the gridlock, Cass felt nostalgic for it. As she slowly passed each now-familiar place—the Hive, Fabrizio’s—her heart ached even more. Before this week, the only place she had created any meaningful memories in was Starlight Peak. But in a short time all that had changed. She had proven that running a bakery was not the only thing she was capable of. That the safe world of her hometown was not the only place she could thrive in. Was it really possible she was going to return home and go back to being the person she had been before? Would all of these memories soon fade into nothing?
The sign for Forever Ink came into view. And before Cass fully registered what she was doing, she had pulled over in front of the tattoo parlor.
Forever. She sat in the car, staring up at the word. She couldn’t stay here and become a new person altogether; she had to go home to Starlight Peak. But she could do something that would remind her about what she really wanted from life: Adventure. Authenticity. True love.
Cass pushed open the door before she could change her mind. Jason was sitting at the front counter. “Hey, there, Cass,” he said. “Need a touch-up on that tat? You’re in luck, I’m free right now, just had a cancellation.”
“Perfect. And, no. I’ve actually decided I want something more permanent.”
Jason smiled. “That happens a lot with temporary tattoos. Once you get a taste, you know you want to be inked for life. So, what’ll it be? Any thoughts on design?”
The old Cass would have taken ages to decide on exactly what to have permanently etched onto her skin—and then probably would have lost her nerve. But this Cass already knew what she wanted. “A constellation of stars,” she said. “The Gemini constellation.” Jason already had his phone out, typing her words into the search bar.
“Nice,” he said. “I’ve done constellations before, like this.” He grabbed a pen and pad and started to sketch, then passed the sheet to her: it was beautiful, an array of stars linked by thick black lines. “But maybe you want something a little smaller, less conspicuous?”
“No. That drawing is exactly right.” Cass held out her wrist. “Right there, where the temporary one is. I want to go for it. Right now.”
Cass’s heart was pounding as she followed Jason to the chair—but she wasn’t afraid. She was the captain of her own ship, the master of her own fate. Soon she would have a constellation of stars on her wrist to remind her of home, as well as her twin, Charlie. But also, that there was a whole universe out there and Cass didn’t have to stay stuck in one place forever, waiting for her life to begin.
20
Charlie
Wednesday: 3 Days Until Christmas . . .
Starlight Peak
The weather in Starlight Peak had become increasingly wintery the past few days. Its residents left deep footprints in the thick layer of snow that blanketed the town, as they scurried about doing last-minute Christmas shopping. Charlie walked as quickly as she could from the bakery to the Honey Pot—one of her favorite shops in town—because the cold had reached bone-chilling temperatures today. She used her gloved hand to turn the shop’s door handle, a series of bells announcing her arrival. The warming smells of cinnamon and honey filled the space, and Charlie inhaled deeply—she would never take her sense of smell or taste for granted again.