The Hidden (Shadowed Wings #1)(58)
“I didn’t know,” I tell him quietly, but it isn’t true. My father warned me about words and their power the first time I used this word and froze the animals I was playing with. He told me about the responsibility that came with such a language, and then he died, and I stopped speaking it, stopped respecting it, and now here I am.
Zeph steps back from me, his chest heaving with the effort to rein in his emotions. “So, Falon Solei Umbra. Gryphon shifter who thought she was a wolf. Innocent female who just happened to be found by the Syta of the Hidden. Why would your father teach you these words? The words that someone with Bonding Magic uses to enslave others?”
His question rakes up my back like claws, and I flinch. I immediately think of the conversation I just had with Ami about Bonding Magic and what happens to the people who have it. I open my mouth to say I don’t know, but Zeph’s honey gaze sears through me, and as dumb as it may be, I don’t want to lie to him, not like I’ve been lied to my whole life.
“Nadi said I was a Bond Breaker,” I admit on a hesitant whisper, and Zeph’s features war between confusion and horror.
“Who the rut is Nadi?”
“She’s the ghost that lives in Vedan. I guess my blood woke her up,” I explain, awkwardly hating that it makes me sound like a fucking loon. Hating the way that Zeph is looking at me like I’m something that needs to be eradicated, like I’m dangerous.
“Woke her up for what purpose?”
I swallow down the warning that zings through me to keep my fucking mouth shut and take a deep breath. “Um, she said something about how I could break the vow once and for all. Hence that whole Bond Breaker shit I just mentioned,” I utter with way too many unnecessary hand gestures.
I suddenly can’t seem to stop fidgeting. Maybe it has something to do with the possibility of the impending death that Zeph is currently breathing down my neck. Or maybe this is the first time I’ve really voiced what I’ve been told, and believe it.
He scoffs, and murder fills his eyes. “Bond Breaker or Bond Maker?” he accuses. “If you can undo the vow, then why haven’t you?” he challenges with a disbelieving sneer.
“Because I have no fucking clue how to,” I snap at him and then instantly regret it when he slams me up against the wall in response.
I grunt against the force of it and pant through the adrenaline that crashes through me because of his aggression. His hand rests threateningly on my neck, and he runs the tip of his nose up the side of my face. “I should rip you apart right now,” he tells me on a growl, and I glare at him. “Do you know what will happen to you when this world finds out you have Bonding Magic? You’ll be hunted, little sparrow. You’ll be used, and then you’ll be slaughtered when you’ve served your purpose or become too much of a threat. The Ouphe will come for you, the Hidden will come for you, and the Avowed will be right on their heels.”
His breath caresses my face, his scent sinking deeply into my lungs, and I find myself oddly calm in spite of what he’s saying to me. Pigeon makes a weird fucking cooing sound inside of me that has me giving her the side-eye. Fucking weirdo.
“Leave, Falon,” Zeph orders suddenly, and the command pulls me from my focus on the way he feels pressed up against me.
“Leave,” he snarls more forcefully when I don’t budge. “Get home if you can, hide if you can’t, and hope a Cynas gets to you before the Avowed can, or worse, the Ouphe dregs track you down.”
I stare up at him in shock. “You’ll throw me to the wolves, just like that?” I ask, hoping my incredulity masks the hurt in my tone.
“It’s where your kind belongs.” I try to push Zeph way from me, but he doesn’t release his hold on my neck. “Oh and, Falon, if you ever come back here, I’ll kill you myself.”
Zeph squeezes my throat ever so slightly to punctuate his threat, and then with that, he storms out of my room. The door slams shut with a loud boom behind him. And I stare at the dark wood barrier for way too long, not sure what to do. He’s just given me permission to do the very thing I’ve been pushing for since I first woke up in this place. But his exit feels like it’s just taken something vital inside of me with him, and I don’t fucking know what to think about that.
Fuck him, and fuck this world.
I grab my bag of food from the floor and open the top of it. I walk into the bathroom and grab my pile of clothes, my eyes landing on my reflection in the mirror. The girl that stares back at me looks hollow, and I turn away, hating that the word coward bubbles up in my throat as I stare at myself. I shove my clothes in the bag, cinch it, and then tie it to my front. My wings burst out of my back, easy as breathing, and I’m reminded of the time I saw Ryn call his wings and then put them away just like this. I wanted so badly to do it as well as he did, and here I am.
I have the sudden need to say goodbye to Ami and to Tysa and Moro, but I know they’ll have questions. Questions I just can’t answer. I need to leave before the Syta asshole supreme changes his mind and decides my death is a better palate cleanser for him than my possible capture and torture.
I clear my throat in an effort to disengage the melancholy that’s trying to settle in my chest and roll my shoulders. I pull the map that Nadi gave me out of the waistband of my pants and unfold it as I walk out onto the balcony. Cool spray from the waterfall kisses my cheek, and it feels like the farewell I find myself suddenly hesitant to say. The purple dot reaches out to me like a beacon, but I ignore it and focus in on the mountain range on the opposite side of the map.