The Hidden (Shadowed Wings #1)(35)

“Just stay here where it’s safe, little sparrow, and when we get back, I will take you home,” he rumbles into my ear.

My body responds to his tone, and need pools between my thighs, but my brain responds to his words. He’s going to send me away. Zeph steps back from me, taking all my warmth with him, and walks toward the dusk-kissed entrance of the cave.

“I’m going to find some food. Stay here. I promise I will get you home just as soon as I can.” With that, he disappears, and I’m left panting and confused, clutching the rock of the wall I’m still pressed against.

I clench my thighs against my body’s demand for satiation, but inside I feel crushed. Even Pigeon is fucking sad, and that feels beyond wrong to me. “I’m sorry,” I offer her uselessly, and she retreats further inside of me. I debate for a minute what I should do. Part of me is tempted to leave anyway, but the other part doesn’t want to risk capture. If the Avowed are as bad as the Hidden say, it would just make things worse for me. I want to go home, and Zeph said he’ll get me there. I decide I can put up with his hatred a little longer if I get what I want in the end.

I feel a sliver of hope from Pigeon that maybe Zeph will come around, but I do everything I can to keep my thoughts on that to myself. Once an asshole, always an asshole, and we deserve more than that. I push off from the rocky wall and head back toward my fur and the warm fire. I take a drink from the waterskin and moan as the clean, cool water fills my mouth. It tastes like heaven, and I try not to drink too much, not knowing how long this water needs to last.

My moan echoes off the rock and dances around me. The sound teases my thoughts, and I find myself replaying my naughty daydream from earlier when I was in Zeph’s arms. Sensations flutter down to my clit, and I shake my head at myself. Get a fucking grip, Falon. I lie back with an exasperated sigh, but the feel of the hem of my shirt brushing against my thighs brings my salacious thoughts back to the forefront. Fuck that gryphon asshole for leaving me so needy. Pigeon rears up in agreement, and I moan again in complaint against how horny I am.

I’m just taking the edge off, I tell myself as I bring one hand up to pinch my nipple and dip the other hand between my thighs. Better to get myself off than throw myself at someone who doesn’t want me. I spread my lips, not at all surprised to feel how drenched I am, and dip two fingers inside of me. I moan again as I pull my wet need up to my clit and start circling it. I move my hand to my other nipple and pinch it hard as I play with myself. It doesn’t take long for the pressure to build inside of me. I grind against my own hand and pull my fingers away from my clit and dip them back inside. I pick up the pace, the base of my palm hitting my clit as I thrust my fingers in and out, stroking all the spots I like.

I come on a deep moan and work myself quickly into another orgasm, forcing the sensations to smash together and prolonging the intensity. I writhe and ride my orgasm like a wave, reveling in the delicious tingles that ripple through my body as I float down through the pleasure. I release a deep contented exhale and stroke my fingers in a circle one last time inside of me before I pull out.

That was exactly what I needed.

Solo orgasms are never quite as good as orgasms other people pull from my body, but I’ll take what I can get at this point. Need no longer drives my every thought, and my mind feels clearer now. I rinse my hand with a little bit of water and pull my shirt back down. I lie on my side and stare at the flames of the fire, letting them fight off the cold that’s pressing in against me.

The crackling of the fire echoes around the cave, and strange noises press in on the darkening solace surrounding me. It sounds like some animal or insect’s song and makes me think of the way crickets chirp at night back home. I’m once again reminded of my stranger status in this completely foreign land, and loneliness bubbles up inside of me.

My gran’s face rises to the surface of my thoughts, but I bat it away. I’m not past the lies and subterfuge enough to embrace any fond memories and longing that accompanies stray thoughts of her. I try and fail to look through the cracks of our history, to read between the lines of our relationship to discover why she kept all of this from me, but I come up with nothing. My mind wanders to my mom and dad, their smiles, the sound of their laughter, and I let the loneliness I often try to ignore take up temporary residence in my chest for a while.

I’m not sure how long I lie there, staring at the fire, trying to sift through my past, but the sound of Zeph stomping back into the cave pulls me away from my thoughts. He freezes just as he comes into view, and I sit up concerned. His nostrils flare, and his gaze moves from me as he scans the cave. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, and I turn, confused, and look around the cave too.

“What happened in here?” he asks, and I watch as his nostrils flare again. His pupils look like they dilate, but that could just be from the now dark cave and the dim light the fire is providing.

“What do you mean?” I ask, breathing in deeply myself, in an effort to identify whatever it is that he’s smelling. It suddenly dawns on me what he must be scenting. I feel my cheeks heat, and I shrug, hoping it looks nonchalant.

“Uh…I was just...um...entertaining myself.” My statement sounds more like a question, and my gaze darts away from Zeph’s for a second and then darts back. Don’t look at his crotch, Falon! Keep those eyes above the waist! Zeph looks pained for a beat, and then his stare fills up with familiar frustration. He stomps past me, chucking something large and turquoise in my direction. I catch it with both hands and focus on it, ignoring Zeph as he huffs and puffs while settling himself on his own fur.