The Guy on the Left (The Underdogs, #2)(89)

He walks over to where I stand and places his key in my palm. “In your eyes, I’ll always be the teenager who lied and got you pregnant, not the man you rely on.”

I feel myself rip in half as I search his eyes. “Troy, this has gotten way out of hand.”

He steps back. “I agree.”

I take one forward, and he shakes his head. “Don’t.”

“Don’t?” I swallow. “Don’t now or don’t ever? What are you saying?”

The decision in his eyes terrifies me. “I’m saying this isn’t going to work out.” He retrieves his duffle and shakes his head. “I’m saying it’s over.”

“Troy,” I cry as he opens the door and turns back, eyes watering, his resignation clear.

“You don’t mean it. You’re angry with me. Don’t do this. We’ve overcome so much to be together. I was upset. I had a right to be, but I was always planning on talking to you, hashing it out with you. I just had to calm down, get my bearings. Dante—”

“Yes, let’s talk about Dante. It’s been seven fucking months. Do you ever plan on telling him I’m his father?”

“Of course, I was just waiting—”

“For what? What in the hell are you waiting for?”

“For us to—”

“There is no us. Not anymore and not without him, so you better keep that shit in mind.”

Reeling, I feel my hackles rise. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means don’t even dream of keeping me from my son because of this.”

“Troy, I would never—”

“Oh, but you have, haven’t you?”

I have no defense. None.

“Just a heads up, those checks you cashed are a paper trail, proof of child support.”

“What?” I place my hand on my stomach, feeling kicked as bile climbs my throat.

“I don’t want things to get ugly, but Dante is all that’s between us now, and I refuse to let you hold that over my head anymore.”

I begin to shake uncontrollably. “Y-you d-don’t mean that.”

“Do yourself a favor and play fair, and I will too. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Blistering pain rolls through me as I try and grasp the events of the last few minutes. I’m face to face with Troy’s Gemini, and the hardest part is that I know I’m the one who is responsible for bringing it out of him.

“You would try and take him from me?”

“Never. But you’re no longer the only parent who gets to make decisions. Get used to it.”

I shake my head. “You’re not saying this to me.”

He shrugs as if he hasn’t just stabbed me in the heart. “I guess deep down, I was protecting myself too. How’s that for a one-eighty? In the last twenty-four hours, I’ve realized I. Can’t. Fucking. Trust. You.”

“You’ve made your point.” My voice cracks, as my heart shatters. “Go.”

“I’ll pick up Dante in the morning,” and with that, he shuts the door.





Troy



“Hey, man, good to have you back,” Kevin says, clapping me on the shoulder.

“Good to be back,” I lie, scanning the party. Nothing about being here appeals to me. Everything feels fucked personally and everything seems to be going right for me professionally.

Inside I’m a shell. Outside I’m still the man I’ve always been, a free agent in every sense of the word. Business as usual.

And I hate every fucking minute of it.

She’s with him.

The same thought eats me from the inside out and has been for hours as I sip my beer to try and numb up. But I’m deluding myself. Nothing is working. Nothing.

Dante senses the separation between his mother and me, but he’s none the wiser about our relationship or lack thereof. We were right to keep it hidden. It’s been weeks since I handed back her key. The consistent stab I feel every time I open my eyes in the morning is enough to end me. The ache worsens when I turn over in my bed to see Clarissa readying Dante for another day, another day without me.

Aside from being close to my son, I hate my living situation and can’t wait until the semester is over. I want no part of existing in this house the way things are. Theo’s head is in the fucking clouds, hence why he agreed to let me throw this get together, and Lance already has one foot out the door.

I’m about to get drafted, graduate with my degree, and live my dream.

Inside this full circle, I’m empty.

And it’s pure fucking torture.

She’s with him.

Finishing school and snatching my diploma feels like a sentence, much like loving a woman who can’t give me the whole of herself. But I refuse to pay any more for crimes I didn’t commit. And every day, I battle with the guilt of just how much I hurt her with my threats and the way I left things.

When I confronted her, I was unreasonably angry and rightfully so.

It was all take and no give with her, and I’d hit my fucking limit.

And the feeling of seeing her now is both dose and withdrawal, either side of a prison I can’t seem to escape.

This unrequited love shit is for the birds.

But wasn’t it love we had? What we felt?