The Guilt Trip(70)

“I … just…,” stutters Jack. “Please … I just…”

How could Ali, who Rachel had written off as being nothing more than a silly young girl, have so much hold over Jack that she has turned him into a crumbling wreck? How has she worked her way under his skin to such an extent that he’s unable to string two words together? This isn’t her Jack; this is a different man entirely.

Despite feeling hollowed out inside, Rachel forces herself to stand tall; to be more like Ali. “Is somebody going to tell me what’s going on?” she says, sounding far more authoritative than she feels. She looks from Jack to Ali and back again.

“I’m sorry,” says Ali, looking at Rachel with tears in her eyes—the first time that she’s shown any regret or remorse. “I tried to stop it, honestly I did.”

It takes all of Rachel’s restraint not to launch herself at her, to tear the hair from out of her stupid head and to rip the tacky dress she’s just worn to proclaim her love for someone else, off her back. But that would make her no better than Jack and despite everything, she has to be a better person than he is.

“How long’s it been going on?” she asks, her mouth feeling as if it’s full of cotton wool.

Ali looks to Jack, but he’s turning around in circles, agitatedly raking at his hair. “At least eighteen months,” she says. “That’s why I left the company. I had to.”

Rachel’s mouth drops open. She thinks of all the things they’ve done in the past eighteen months: the words they’d exchanged, the dreams they’d shared, the love they’d made, and it all suddenly seems sullied. Like she’s been living a lie, or worse, been unknowingly immersed in someone else’s.

“Please!” shouts Jack, as if he knows he’s fast losing the chance to claw Rachel back from the precipice she finds herself clinging to. “I need to do this my way.” He looks at Ali. “Without you here.”

Ali laughs acerbically. “I don’t trust you to do it your way,” she says, lifting her dress up to avoid the lap of water that is easing its way toward her with every break of a wave. The tide is coming into the cave so rapidly that it won’t be long before they’ll have no choice but to swim out.

“Why don’t you think of Rachel in all this?” he snaps, finding his voice again. “What might be best for her?”

“Don’t you think that’s what I’ve been doing?” says Ali.

“Oh, yeah,” says Rachel sarcastically. “You’ve gone all out to do right by me.”

Holding her dress at her knees, Ali walks to Rachel. “I’m so sorry,” she says tearfully. “You have to believe me when I say I tried everything in my power to put a stop to it.”

“If you don’t get away from me,” sneers Rachel. “I swear to God…”

She watches Ali wade out of the cave and turns to Jack, whose face is sallow, devoid of color. She imagines slapping his cheek hard and the red blush it would create.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” she asks, once Ali’s gone.

Jack’s manically rubbing at his head, back and forth. He goes to speak, but seems to think better of it.

“I’ll ask again,” she says firmly.

“She…” he starts.

Rachel waits, with her hands on her hips, refusing to make this any easier for him.

“When she first started working for me, she made an advance…” He leaves it there, as if waiting to gauge Rachel’s reaction.

She can’t help but laugh. “And let me guess … you were powerless to resist?” It’s a question she expects to be answered.

“I … I tried, but you know what she’s like.”

“Poor you,” says Rachel, without a modicum of sympathy.

“Anyway, I kept refusing her and one night, when I’d had too much to drink—I think you and I had had a fight…”

Rachel scoffs. She knew it was somehow going to be her fault.

“And that night, I kissed her,” says Jack.

Rachel raises her eyebrows expectantly, wanting him to go on, but not wanting to hear it.

“And ever since then, she’s been pushing for more. Blackmailing me by threatening to tell you if I don’t give her what she wants.”

Rachel shakes her head, trying to make sense of what he’s saying. “So, have you given it to her or not?”

“No!” he exclaims, his voice so loud that it reverberates around them. “Of course not. You know I’d never do that.”

Rachel looks up at the cavernous ceiling, waiting for the patience she so desperately needs to be bestowed upon her.

“So you’re saying that all you’ve done is kiss her?” she asks incredulously. “Once?”

“Exactly!” he says. “And ever since, she’s been making out that there’s something going on, when I swear to you, there isn’t.”

Rachel can’t believe what she’s hearing. “But that doesn’t even make sense,” she says. “Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s stark raving mad,” he says, throwing his hands in the air. “You know what she’s like. You’ve seen how she behaves. This is what I’ve had to deal with.”