The Guilt Trip(37)

Rachel nods. “Just the one, though he’s hardly a child. Like you say, I can’t quite believe I’ve got a nineteen-year-old.”

“So, he’ll be going off to university, will he?”

“He’s already gone, just over a month ago, and although we all felt he was ready, we miss him terribly.”

“Ah, an empty nest,” says the woman, looking at them both. “That must be hard.”

Rachel offers a smile. “It takes some getting used to.”

“Do you have a photo?” asks the woman.

“Oh, yes,” says Rachel, taking her phone out of her clutch bag and flicking through to find a picture that shows Josh in all his handsomeness.

The woman takes the phone in her hand, peering closely at the photo before looking between Rachel and Noah.

“Well, there’s no mistaking who he takes after,” says the woman, handing the phone back to Rachel and looking at Noah. “He’s the spitting image of you.”

“Oh … oh … no,” blurts out Rachel, feeling a heat creep around her neck. “We’re not together.” She does a frantic backward and forward motion with her hand. “My husband’s over there.” She points to where Jack is sitting next to Paige. “That’s Josh’s dad. We…” She starts the flapping motion with her hand again. “We’re just good friends.”

“Oh my goodness,” chuckles the woman. “Well, so much for my powers of observation.”

Noah’s mouth pulls back into a tight-lipped grin, but his eyes are alight with shock, burning a hole deep into Rachel. She shifts, uncomfortable under his intense stare, desperately looking for a distraction to ease the strained atmosphere.

She goes to speak, though to say what, she doesn’t know, but her throat constricts and her mouth dries up instantaneously when she parts her lips. She wonders if her discomfort is obvious—how can it not be to Noah, who knows her better than most? But when she fleetingly glances at him, he looks at her as if she were a stranger.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he says, through gritted teeth.

Rachel watches him, her heart pounding, as he weaves his way through the restaurant and out the door.

“It’s been lovely meeting you,” says Rachel to the old woman, who’s happily sipping her gin and bitter lemon.

“You too, dear,” she says. “See you for the big day tomorrow.”

“Looking forward to it,” says Rachel.

Keeping one eye on Noah through the window, she scans the room for Jack and is relieved to see him sitting, deep in conversation, with Paige. Although that will no doubt do little to subdue his truculent mood, it gives Rachel time to pacify Noah, whose mindset worries her even more right now.

She’s just about to reach for the door handle when a hand grabs her arm.

“I’m glad I caught you,” says Maria.

Rachel smiles at Ali’s mother. “I’m sorry, I just need to…” She tilts her head to where she can see Noah retreating into the darkness, his arms swinging by his sides.

“Of course,” says Maria, letting go.

Rachel shifts from one foot to the other as she loses sight of Noah’s white shirt. “It’s okay,” she says, forcing a smile. “It can wait.”

Maria pats the stool next to her and as Rachel dutifully sits down, Maria picks up her hand and holds it tight.

“Just in case I don’t get an opportunity to speak to you tomorrow, I wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me?” says Rachel in surprise. “What on earth for?”

“For looking after Alison; for taking her under your wing and welcoming her into the family. She was beginning to think she’d never meet the right person and then when she did, she was nervous about ingratiating herself.”

“Ali, nervous? I doubt that.” Rachel’s head is so full of Noah, and fuzzy with alcohol, that she doesn’t know whether she’s said the words out loud or not.

Maria smiles, suggesting that she might have. “You see, Alison may come over as confident, but it’s just her way of coping.”

“Coping?” queries Rachel, not sure that she’s interested enough to care. She has a bigger problem to deal with.

“It’s just that she’s been through a lot,” Maria goes on. “And it’s all a bit of a front she hides behind.”

That’s no excuse to be a pathological liar, Rachel wants to say. To tell your husband-to-be that you’re desperate to have children and then behind his back admit you’re not ready. To pretend that David Friedman was coming to your wedding, but had to cancel at the last minute.

“She was bullied terribly when she was younger and she sometimes over-compensates,” says Maria, as if in answer. “So, please don’t think that how she is on the outside is how she’s feeling on the inside. There’s a shy and timid girl in there, whose only wish is to be accepted for who she is.”

There’s an unsettling feeling in the pit of Rachel’s stomach: is Maria as naive to Ali, and all that she’s capable of, as everyone else?

She almost feels compelled to tell Maria how Ali behaves around Jack, in the hope that she’ll allay her concerns. But in light of how she’d greeted him, Rachel fears she’ll only stoke the fire instead of putting it out.