The Girl the Sea Gave Back(35)

He stood beside me, the look on his face betraying his thoughts. He knew it, in the pit of his stomach. He knew it in the shake of his bones. But beneath the murmured prayers and talk of the gods, Jorrund was a coward. He’d never speak against Vigdis. “There is nothing I can do,” he said, careful not to meet my eyes.

The sharp click of tongues silenced the All Seer overhead and the Svell moved down the slope toward the village, leaving only Gunther behind. His tight gaze was pinned on the figures disappearing beneath the gate and over the fence that wound around Utan. He didn’t move, his sword still clutched in his hand, and I stepped forward, watching the sight of them melt into the black.

I tried to tell myself that it was the way of mortals to find war. It was like kindling, just waiting for the smallest flame. But I couldn’t squelch the soft whisper hissing in the back of my mind. The one that wondered how many Nādhir were sleeping beneath those roofs.

I looked up again to the darkening sky, but the nighthawk was gone, leaving only the faint light of the stars scattered across the expanse.

Even the All Seer didn’t want to watch this.

My hands balled into fists at my sides so tightly that my knuckles felt as if they were going to crack. “We have to do something,” I whispered.

“Tova…” Jorrund’s voice pulled up in a warning I knew well.

But I didn’t wait for him to finish. I stepped out from under the trees, pulling the air deep into my lungs and my jaw dropping open to scream. But then I was tilting backward, a hot hand pressed over my mouth. I kicked as Gunther dragged me back into the shadows and dropped me hard on the ground.

“Do I need to kill you?” he asked calmly, standing over me. But even he didn’t look himself. His gaze pulled back to the village, the dread of what was about to happen heavy in his eyes.

I glared up at him through hot tears, getting back to my feet. Even if I did scream, it was no use. There was no time for the people of Utan to escape. The Svell would swallow them whole and there was nothing I could do about it. In fact, I’d sent them there.

I held my breath, listening as I bit down hard on my lip, trying to keep from trembling. The silence was finally broken by the whistle of a flaming arrow cutting through the air and I turned to face Jorrund.

“There isn’t a single god who looks favorably upon dishonorable killing,” I said unevenly.

His eyes narrowed, his arms uncrossing. “This is war, Tova.”

“That?” I raised a shaking hand, pointing toward the village at the bottom of the hill. “That’s not war. And there will be a price to pay for it.”

Jorrund looked suddenly horrified, taking a step back from me. “Is that a curse on your tongue?”

“I don’t need to curse you.” A single tear slid down my cheek. “The Spinners already have.”

“What does that mean?” His words faltered, the fear taking hold of his voice.

“The rune cast! Hagalaz. Your fate has been carved into the Tree of Urer.”

“That was before the glade. Now we’re set to take Hylli and the Nādhir will be gone,” he said, but he was growing uneasy. He was trying to convince himself.

“You think the threat of the Nādhir is greater than the wrath of the gods?” My voice rose. “Everything Vigdis has done only ensures your fate. You can’t erase it.”

Screams tore through the forest and I cringed, a sob escaping my throat. Below, the glow of fire was spreading across Utan, lighting it like a beacon. All seven hundred and sixty warriors had been ordered to descend upon the small village and now, they were consuming it like bears after a long winter.

Gunther watched, his jaw clenched tight as the light of the fire danced on his face. The sharp clang of blades meeting found us and I sank down to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs and burying my face into my skirts. I imagined the young Nādhir from the glade standing at the gate. Swinging his axe, his blue eyes like stars in the night. I didn’t know him. I’d never seen him before that day in Ljós. But still, a feeling like I’d betrayed him sank heavily inside of me, making my stomach turn.

But it was the Spinners who’d shown me where he was. He was fated to die, too. He had to be. And I didn’t know Vigdis would order the army to Utan.

“I didn’t know,” I cried, trying to make the words true.

But it was no use. The closeness of the forest seemed to pull away from me, leaving me alone in the dark and the feeling of a thousand eyes on me crawled over my skin like a legion of worms devouring a corpse. Because even if the All Seer wasn’t watching, the Spinners were. And so were the gods. There was no way to escape their notice. Not after all I’d done.

I hadn’t planned the massacre in the glade but it was my rune cast that had justified it. I hadn’t ordered the Svell to Utan, but I’d summoned the Spinners to find the warrior who’d killed Bekan. I’d always known I was cursed. That something dark had marked me. It was the only reason the Kyrr would have sacrificed my life. Jorrund believed that Eydis saved me, but I knew the truth. She hadn’t saved me from Naer.

Naer just didn’t want me.

The screams softened, flickering out one by one until the silence of the night returned. Jorrund stood beside me, one hand touching my hair, but I pushed him off, getting back to my feet. We waited side by side in the minutes it took for them to lay waste to the village, until figures finally crept up the slope, moving back into the forest. The light of dusk caught the glistening of wet blood on armor and the warriors passed us, their gazes thin as they walked, the village of Utan aflame in their wake. I watched their shadows move in the trees until they were gone. I didn’t want to see any more.