The Girl Who Fell Beneath the Sea(78)

Mari grins conspiratorially, looking so much like her older cousin in that moment that my heart lurches. “They say the emperor asked for Mina’s hand in marriage. Yesterday, when he paid a visit to your house. Well, is it true?”

“Even if it were true, it’s not respectable to spread rumors. Here, buy yourself a treat.” Cheong flips her a coin.

“It’s not a rumor if it’s the truth,” Mari says cheekily, pocketing the coin, though she doesn’t forget to bow to both of us before rushing off to join her friends.

Cheong watches me carefully. None of my family members have asked me what my response to the emperor’s proposal will be, though Grandmother claims I would never accept such an unequal match: He is but an emperor; Mina has been bound to a god. And Soojin quietly says in her kind, unobtrusive way, But wouldn’t it be nice for Mina to have a family of her own? And maybe he might help her move on …

In the late morning, the festivalgoers return to their homes to prepare for the ceremony that will culminate the festival, when the whole of the village, including the visiting nobles and the emperor, will make their slow way up to the cliffs that overlook the sea. There the emperor will pay obeisance to the Sea God, asking him to protect his land and people for another year.

I’m already wearing the dress my grandmother and sisters have sewn for me, the skirt a bright yellow and the jacket pink like the petals of a lotus. Strapping my last gift—my dagger—to my waist, I wander out to the garden to wait. In the shallow waters of the pond, little tadpoles linger over the pebbles.

When Joon and I were children, we used to catch tadpoles in the stream beside our house with a small wooden bucket. We would catch them and put our fingers in the water to feel their smooth, slippery bodies. We’d release them shortly after catching them. Joon—always gentle, always kind—never could keep them for long.

There’s a soft tread of footsteps. My brother, coming to fetch me.

“Joon,” I say, turning, “is it time…?” I trail off.

Standing before me is the Goddess of Moon and Memory.

I gape. “What are you doing here?”

She’s dressed in white robes and a loose red jacket, her hair in a simple knot at the nape of her neck. She watches me with her candlelit eyes that before used to fill me with such terror. Now I feel only a steady warmth.

“Shin came to see me,” she says.

I jerk back. “Wh-what?”

“It’s strange,” the goddess continues, either unaware or unmerciful of my wildly beating heart. “He should have no memories of you, and yet, he walks his palace in silence. He finds happiness in nothing, and his soul weeps. He’s worse than when the emperor was the Sea God. Nothing can console him.”

My heart is breaking. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because, as you suggested, I’ve taken on the role of the Goddess of Women and Children. Do you know what that means?”

I shake my head.

“It means that everyone who once feared me now loves me. Even Shin, my greatest enemy, loves me. He knows me now as a goddess of motherhood and children. He knows me as a goddess who is loving and kind and giving. Tell me, Mina, how could I be cruel to someone who loves me?”

“I don’t know. Can you?”

“It’s … strange. When I was feared, I hated everything and everyone. But now that I’m loved, I can’t stand to see those who love me suffer one moment of pain. I blame you, Mina. You’ve turned me into a kindhearted goddess.”

I look at her, my heart in my throat. “What did you do?”

“Have you forgotten? I may be the Goddess of Women and Children, but I am also the Goddess of Moon and Memory.”

A gust of wind picks up the petals of the pear tree that have fallen on the ground. They begin to swirl around the goddess.

I stumble forward. “Wait!”

In a moment, she’s gone.

“Mina?” Cheong comes out from the house, peering around the garden. “Are you all right? I heard voices.”

“Cheong, I—”

Behind her, Sung and Soojin rush into the garden.

“Mina, Cheong!” he calls, breathless. “The emperor has already arrived at the top of the cliffs. We must hurry or we’ll be late!”

Cheong looks as if she wishes to speak with me more, but Mirae, strapped to Soojin’s back, begins to cry, and Cheong hurries over to soothe the child, presenting to her with a flourish the honey block she purchased at the market.

My family hurries to join the last group of villagers, Sung and Soojin with Mirae, Grandmother, Cheong and Joon, making their way up to the cliffs.

At first I keep up with them, but after a while my steps grow slow, my thoughts distracted by the breeze sweeping through the trees, and soon I’m alone on the path.

It’s a familiar climb, one I used to make often when I was younger. I remember racing up to the top, breathless with both exertion and anticipation. There’s a point where the path grows steep, and it’s a bit of a struggle to take the last few steps, but it’s worth it, because once I come up over the rise, it’s there, waiting for me.

The sea. The water stretches out to the horizon, its beauty unparalleled, filling my heart with a joy that is boundless, that both grounds me to this moment and spirits me away, to a world far beyond this one, to the place where I long to be.