The Forgetting(46)

Dominic picked up a glass of water from the bookshelf. ‘I know it’ll be a big change, but it’s exciting, isn’t it? I think it could be really good for us.’

‘But what about my job? Have you forgotten about my promotion?’ The question sounded surreal, as though she had found herself in a piece of absurdist theatre and couldn’t follow the plot.

‘Sweetheart, this could be great for your career too. There are loads more think tanks and lobbying groups in London, and they’re much more influential than the ones here. This could be a great move for both of us.’

‘But I don’t want a different job. I want the one I’ve been offered. Did you not think to discuss this with me before you applied for a job on the other side of the country?’

Dominic rolled his eyes. ‘It’s a hundred miles away. It’s not as if I’m proposing we emigrate to Australia. It’s literally a few hours’ drive down the M4.’ There was a hint of impatience in his voice. ‘Honestly? I thought my application was such a long shot there wasn’t any point even mentioning it.’

Livvy tried to order the chaos of her thoughts. ‘It may only be a hundred miles, but I’ve got no interest in living in London. I love living in Bristol. My family’s here. My friends. My job. I don’t want to leave.’

‘For god’s sake, Livvy, do you think it’s normal for a grown woman with a family of her own to be living in the pocket of her parents still?’

‘I’m not—’

‘Yes, you are. I think it’ll do us good to have a bit of space from them.’ Dominic rubbed a hand around the back of his neck, shook his head with frustration.

‘But I thought you wanted to buy a bigger house, I thought that was the point of your new budgeting system. If we move to London, we’d be living somewhere half the size of this.’

‘Who said I wanted a bigger house?’

‘You did. When we were talking about money—’

‘This isn’t about the size of house we’re living in. This is about you being too scared to try anything new. Would it kill you to venture outside your comfort zone once in a while?’

The accusation hummed in her ears, but she tried to stay focused on the issue at hand. ‘So you’re just expecting me to give up the promotion? Without so much as a discussion?’

‘I’m discussing it with you now. Jesus, Livvy, there are jobs outside Bristol. With all your experience, you’d have a much better career in London. I’m not suggesting this move just for my benefit. This would be good for both of us. Why do you have to be so unadventurous?’

The criticism stung, an echo of her final row with Tom, when he’d accused her of exactly the same thing. ‘I’m not. You just spring this on me and expect me to agree—’

‘For god’s sake! You could see how excited I was. I’ve been looking forward to telling you ever since I found out. I thought you’d be happy. I thought you’d see this as an opportunity for us to do something new together. And yet all you can do is be negative. All you can do is moan about having to move away from your bloody family.’ He slammed the glass on the edge of the bookshelf, the bottom shattering beneath the pressure, water splashing over his hand, the shelf, the floor.

Leo jerked his head up from where he was playing in his bouncy chair, a moment’s silence as his eyes darted from Livvy to Dominic and back again. And then his face crumpled, howls of shock reaching from his throat, tears spilling over the edges of his eyes.

Heart drumming against her ribs, Livvy bent down, scooped Leo into her arms, began to walk away.

‘Where are you going?’

Livvy didn’t answer, pressed Leo to her chest, started walking up the stairs.

‘Livvy, we haven’t finished talking.’

She stopped, turned around, looked over the banister to where Dominic was glaring at her. ‘Leo’s upset, in case you hadn’t noticed.’

‘I’m upset.’

For a moment, Livvy was speechless. ‘I think Leo probably needs me more.’ Without waiting for a response, she climbed the stairs, went into their bedroom, closed the door behind her. With Leo still tight in her arms, she sat down on the bed, breathed in the smell of her son, and tried to work out what on earth had happened over the previous fifteen minutes.

The door opened. Livvy didn’t look up from where she was playing with Leo on the bed. She sensed Dominic come in, sit down beside her.

‘I’m sorry I sprang it on you like that. I do understand it must have been a shock. I was just so happy and I wanted to surprise you.’ He inhaled a deep breath, let it out slowly. ‘Everything I do is for you and Leo. You must know that. I honestly thought you’d be excited. I didn’t mean to get angry. I was just disappointed by your reaction.’

Livvy said nothing, could not find a way to unravel her feelings.

‘I genuinely thought you’d be over the moon. It’s such a great opportunity. I didn’t imagine for a second that you wouldn’t want to share in it.’

‘It’s not completely straightforward though, is it?’

‘I know. But I still thought you’d be happy for me.’ Dominic hesitated, twisted his platinum wedding ring around his finger. ‘Sometimes I worry that perhaps we don’t want the same things.’