The Forest of Vanishing Stars(46)

“I understand.” She looked down. “But now the others need you, too.”

“I know.” He was breathing hard as he took a step closer. “You have a big heart, Yona.”

But as he covered her mouth with his, as he pulled her to him, as he tugged off his overcoat and ran his frigid hands roughly up the front of her sweater, cupping her breasts with a low moan, she knew the words hadn’t been a compliment, and the knot in her stomach twisted tighter, even as she closed her eyes and kissed him back.

It was barely noon when Yona emerged from the shelter, followed by Aleksander. The sun was filtering through the heavy clouds, and Sulia was across the clearing, staring at Yona, her jaw tight, as she sorted berries. Before Yona could stop herself, she trudged across the snow. Despite the months Yona had spent with the group, Sulia still hadn’t warmed up to her. Perhaps it was time to try to change things.

“Can I help?” Yona asked, reaching for a handful of berries.

Sulia gave her a sideways look. “What, and dirty your hands with women’s work?”

Yona blinked a few times as she picked out a couple of berries that had withered and begun to grow mold. It was important to periodically remove the bad ones before they destroyed the rest. “You don’t like me,” she observed, keeping her voice low and even. She had never known this kind of venom before, and she didn’t understand it, though it reminded her a bit of the strange way Chana’s mother had reacted to her after Yona had helped heal her husband.

Sulia’s face turned pink as she ducked into her overcoat and busied herself with the berries, avoiding Yona’s eyes. “I like you just fine.”

“I—I don’t think you do.”

Sulia’s jaw flexed and relaxed a few times, and then, as suddenly as a shot, her head snapped up. “It’s just that you have no place here!” she exclaimed. “Who are you, anyhow? What kind of a person is raised in the woods with no human contact? It’s unnatural.”

Yona sat back on her heels. “I’m not—”

“I watch you sometimes with Aleksander, you know. The way you know how to talk to him, how to get him to do the things you want him to… I’m sorry, but you’re not normal, Yona. You’re up to something, and I won’t let it happen. Someone has to protect him, protect the group, even if you have everyone else fooled.”

Yona felt an unfamiliar tightness in her chest, a confusion. Her whole life had been straightforward, even her interactions with the perplexing Jerusza. Though the old woman had often gone about things in an infuriatingly roundabout way, she had never been anything but honest. Yona had always known where she stood, and why, even if she didn’t always like or agree with it. But this feeling was alien to her, this sense that she had to defend herself against wild, unfounded accusations. “I don’t—I don’t know what you mean, Sulia.”

“You’re not one of us, Yona, and sooner or later, Aleksander will notice it, too. You act like a man, like you think you’re better than me, than the other women. But you’re not. And there’s something else. I don’t care who raised you. You’re not like us. You call yourself a Jew, but ours is a religion that passes by blood or tradition—and you have no claim to either.”

“Sulia, I—”

But Sulia was already standing, brushing the snow off her hands. She turned her back and trudged toward her zemlianka without another word.

Yona stood, her fingertips blooming red with berry stain as she closed her hands into fists. Did everyone in the camp feel the same way? She’d done nothing but try to offer her knowledge, her skills for survival.

She was still standing there, staring after Sulia, when Zus approached, trudging in from the woods to the east. “There you are,” he said, his voice deep, warm. His stride was confident and long, and the way he carried himself reminded her of a mountain lion, proud and strong and sure. “I’ve been looking for you.”

She turned, still a bit dazed, and tried to smile. “Zus.”

He searched her eyes as he came up beside her. “Are you all right?”

She nodded, already feeling foolish. She had nothing to regret, nothing to be ashamed of. “Yes, yes, of course.” She coughed and bent to grab the basket of berries Sulia had huffed off without. They’d need to be returned to the larder. She began walking in that direction, and Zus fell into step beside her.

“What is it?” Zus asked after a minute had passed. “You’re not yourself.”

Yona might have smiled if she hadn’t been so upset. How did he already see her so clearly? “It’s nothing.” But when she glanced at him, she could see that he didn’t believe her. “It’s Sulia,” she amended after a pause. “She said something about me not belonging. I—I don’t understand why she seems to dislike me so much.”

“She’s jealous of you.” Zus’s reply was so immediate and matter-of-fact that it made her stumble. He caught her elbow with a smile, righting her.

“Jealous? What could she possibly be jealous of?”

He looked down at her, amused, and they both seemed to notice at the same time that his fingertips were still on her arm. He hastily pulled away. “Well, your relationship with Aleksander, if I had to guess.”

Now Yona stopped in her tracks. “What?”