The Fixed Trilogy: Found in You(83)

I didn’t get back to The Bowery until after midnight. With my phone broken, I was out of touch. There was no way of knowing what I’d find there. Part of me hoped Hudson ignored me, that he’d be there waiting for me. But then I remembered what Lauren said about being willing to stand behind my conditions. If he was there, I’d have to leave, and as twisted and broken as I feared our relationship was, I wasn’t able to do that.

The penthouse was dark, the place quiet except for the sound of the grandfather clock. It felt so much like the first time I’d come in there in the middle of the night, except then things were new and the trepidation I had was fused with excitement. Now, I felt numb and empty. I knew without looking around that Hudson wasn’t there.

I made it halfway down the hall to the master bedroom when a light flipped on in the guest room.

“Laynie, is that you?”

It took several seconds to recover from the minor heart attack Brian had given me. “Yeah, it’s me.”

My brother came to the guest bedroom doorway wearing a white t-shirt and striped pajama bottoms. “Awesome. Are you okay?”

That was the question of the year. “I guess so.” I slumped against the wall and tilted my head. “What are you doing here?”

“Hudson said he had to go on some business trip, but he didn’t want to leave you alone. So he had some guy pick up my stuff from the Waldorf and moved me in.” He leaned his shoulder on the doorframe. “I hope you don’t mind that I’m here.”

“I’m actually kind of glad.” The words were out of my mouth before I realized I meant them. Having someone else around helped lessen the emptiness. And it warmed me that it had been Hudson who’d arranged it. Even with everything that had gone down I was still on his radar.

Brian crossed his arms over his chest. “Personally, I think he should have canceled his trip.”


“He probably should have. But I told him not to.” I slid down to the floor, too exhausted to stand anymore, but needing to get more information from my brother. “Anything interesting happen after I left?”

Brian moved out of the doorway and sat down on the floor across from me. “Not really. More of the same. Accusations and liquor. You know, a typical family party.”

He said it all tongue-in-cheek, but that was exactly what our family parties had been like growing up. At least, the liquor part. There was always lots of liquor.

“Hudson’s mother’s an alcoholic.” I wasn’t sure Brian had figured that out.

“Yeah, I picked up on that. She has that weird yellow skin thing that Dad had. And she was shaky when I first met her. Does she acknowledge it?”

“No. No one does. She’s a different drunk than Dad was, though.” Our dad had been a happy drunk. He’d talk too loud and laugh a lot. When we’d been little, we’d thought it was fun. It took growing older to realize what his antics did to our mother.

“How so?”

“She’s mean. Hateful. Vindictive. Bitter.” I paused. “Did I say mean?” I rubbed my hand over my eyes. “God, this baby thing is probably killing her.”

“Right? What a way to find out your husband cheated on you.”

“Not even because of that. Jack’s infidelity is old news. That he was with Celia is a surprise. I thought he had better taste than that.” Maybe that was why Hudson hated it when his father touched me. He was afraid Jack was after me, too. If Hudson had only told me the truth about Celia and his father, I could have tried harder to…

I let the thought die. It was no good thinking about the things Hudson hid from me. It only led back to the things I’d hidden from him. If we’d both been honest from the beginning, maybe we wouldn’t be in the mess we were in now.

“Anyway, I meant because Sophia was so set on that pregnancy being evidence of why Celia and Hudson should be together. Like, she brings it up all the time. Nearly ten years later, she’s still pining over this miscarriage. For this match that didn’t happen.”

Brian chewed on his lip, something he always did when he was concentrating. “You know what I think? I think she knew all the time that there’d been something between Celia and Jack. You know how you just know things like that sometimes. She probably thought if Celia was with Hudson, then maybe somehow that would punish Jack or maybe even help her win him back or something. It’s obvious she loves the guy.”

I leaned my head back against the wall. “That’s very insightful. You actually make me feel kind of sorry for the lady.” I scowled. “Stop it. I prefer hating her.”

Brian laughed and I felt lighter with the sound. It was good to hear him be something besides angry. He was like Sophia in so many ways. Hardened because of the things life had dealt him. He was the one I felt bad for. “I’m really sorry you got dragged into all of this.”

He nodded in acceptance of my apology. “I’m really sorry I haven’t been here for you.” He kept his eyes on his hands, his fingers playing with the drawstring to his PJs. “I guess I was wrong to cut you off like I did. It didn’t help you like I thought it would.”

“I hate to say this, but it was probably the best thing you could have ever done for me.” Funny thing about 20/20 hindsight. “Despite how it looks at the moment, I’ve been doing pretty well.”