The Fixed Trilogy: Found in You(76)

Hudson stood and stepped toward me, one brow raised. “Are you upset because you assume I want you to take David’s place?”

It was part of it, yes, but so much more than that. I turned my back to him, not knowing how to answer.

“I do want you to, of course, and I have full confidence that you would do an excellent job. But if you are unwilling, then I hope you will be instrumental in deciding who will take his place instead.” His hand settled on the nape of my neck.

I spun toward him, hitting his hand away. “Dammit, Hudson. I don’t want anyone to take his place. I want to work with David. David Lindt, that’s all.”

“You’re defending him with the passion of a lover, Alayna. You’re making it hard for me to believe there really is nothing between you.”

This new insult was the lowest. It stung so badly I went numb, no longer able to feel anything but cold, cold, cold.

“This is so manipulative, Hudson.” My voice was strained, but low and quiet. “Everything you’ve done and said to me today is a total mind game. I thought you were done with that. I don’t even know how to react. Which is probably exactly what you were going for, so guess what—mission f*cking accomplished.”

He advanced toward me. “It is not fair for you to throw my past behaviors in my face every time you disagree with my actions. I am in no way trying to manipulate you to do or feel anything. I’m merely staying committed to my plan—to you, Alayna. Everything I’ve done has been to protect our relationship and our future. That is all.”

“Really? Because right now the future of our relationship feels pretty vulnerable, if you ask me.” It was downright cold—as cold as I felt at the moment, but even seeing his face fall as if I’d struck him, I didn’t wish I could take it back. I only wished it not to be true.

He reached for me again, but I sidestepped him, putting my hands out in front of me as a barrier. “Don’t even come near me. You try to solve all our problems with sex, and this time is not going to be one of them.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I do not try to solve our problems with sex. I simply recognize that when we’re fighting, the physical connection puts us back in tune with each other.”

“You mean it makes me easier to manage.” He opened his mouth—to protest, most likely—but I spoke on before he could say anything. “I can’t deal with this right now. I have to go.”

I nabbed my bag off the sofa and headed to the main door. He tried to catch me as I walked past him, but I slipped from his grasp.

He didn’t try again. “Alayna, do not leave things like this.”

“Right now the last thing I want to hear is you telling me what to do.”

“Alayna, please—” The ache, the pleading in his voice—it wrecked me.

But I needed time.

I paused, my hand on the doorknob, not looking at him. If I looked at him, I was afraid I’d fall into his arms. I needed to be in a place where I could think clearly. And his arms was not that place. “I’ll be at the penthouse later. That’s all I can give you. Right now, I need some space.”

The ball in his throat was so tight, I heard him swallow. “Fair enough.”

Then I was gone.

***

I knew before the elevator doors closed that I wanted to talk to Celia. I’d been blindsided, Hudson’s behavior baffling me so completely, twisting me in knots. I didn’t have the experience with him to sort it out. I desperately needed insight.

She didn’t answer on her first ring so I did the hang-up and return call thing several times. In the midst of my fourth redial, my phone buzzed.

“Did you get my text? I’ll be at the Waldorf this afternoon. Need to see you.”

Goddamn Brian. I hadn’t responded to his earlier message. How fitting was it that I had to deal with him today of all days?

“Text me when you’re in. I’ll come by.”

I pushed Send then tried Celia again. This time she answered right away. “Hey, it’s Laynie. Are you busy?”

“Uh, sort of. What’s up?”

“I, um, need to talk.” My voice cracked.

“Oh, no! What’s wrong? You sound like you’ve been crying.”

I hadn’t been crying—I was crying. “I’d rather talk in person. Are you free to meet up?”

The elevator doors opened in the lobby of Pierce Industries. Dammit. Now I was surrounded by people. I hid my hair over my face, wishing I had my sunglasses, and hurried to the main doors.

“I could do later. Like, this afternoon. Would that work?”

“I don’t know.” I couldn’t comprehend the next fifteen minutes, let alone hours ahead of now. “Let me think. I have to see my brother. Sometime this afternoon. Even though I don’t want to. I don’t know.” I was repeating myself, my mind a fog.

I stepped out onto the street and walked until the glass doors turned into wall. I slumped against the brick. “I’m not really able to make any decisions right now.”

“Okay, I get it. You’re upset.” Celia seemed distracted as she spoke. “You said your brother’s in town? Brian? Is he staying with you at the penthouse?”

“God, no. The Waldorf. It’s Brian’s favorite place in the world.”