The Fixed Trilogy: Found in You(64)

No, why should I be? Just because I was in love with the man, because we had some unspoken commitment to each other that I had broken with my secrets—none of that meant that I had to sit by like a wayward child waiting for her punishment. I was a big girl. Sure, I had to take responsibility for my actions, but I didn’t deserve to be in the dark, handled with hostility and rage.

We’d just pulled out of the garage when I decided to take a stand. “What’s going on?” I was met with silence. “Hudson?”

“I’m not ready to talk about this yet.” The vein in his neck twitched. I’d never seen him like that. Not even when he’d accused me of being involved with David.

David. If I had to make a guess, I was betting that was the source of his ire. Still, I played it cautiously, giving nothing away, even though a part of me wanted to spill everything, tell Hudson every little moment of betrayal. But I was too frightened that I’d lose him, so instead I delivered a generic plea. “Whatever it is I did, I’m sorry. I’m sorry and I’ll do whatever I have to do to fix it.”

A cabbie honked as Hudson switched lanes, pulling out in front of him. “Alayna, I can’t talk about this while I’m driving.”

He accelerated through a yellow light and I braced myself against the console. “Yeah, good idea. Focus on the road because you’re scaring me.”

The look he shot me was pure fury. “Good. Maybe you should be scared.”

I didn’t try to talk after that. His driving didn’t improve, even in the silence, and I was grateful it was a short distance to The Bowery. I hadn’t even been aware the underground parking existed until we’d entered the tunnel and parked next to his Mercedes. Huh, I’d wondered where he kept that when he wasn’t using it.

Being with Hudson, I’d gotten used to doors being opened for me, but I hopped out the minute the car stopped. He might be mad, and I might deserve it, but I didn’t have to take it like a *.

We rode the elevator in sharp silence. In the penthouse, Hudson headed straight for the bar. I followed, my arms folded over my chest, and waited for him to decide that he was ready to talk.

He’d poured and drank half of his Scotch before facing me. “Tell me one thing. One thing and think carefully before you answer because I want to believe what you tell me.” His voice was even, measured.

I leaned against the back of the couch, bracing myself.

“Are you still in love with him?”

So it was David. How Hudson had found out was beyond me. I couldn’t imagine David sidling up to his boss and sharing the sexual adventures he’d had with me. Especially when David had ended things specifically so Hudson would never find out.

However he’d figured it out, it didn’t matter. What mattered was setting the record straight now. “No, I’m not. I was never in love with him.”

Hudson closed his eyes briefly, almost as though he were relieved. But when he opened them again, the stone coldness remained from before. “Then whatever it was—attraction, obsession. Do you still feel that for him?”

“I never felt any of that for him. He was safe. We messed around a few times.” I winced at Hudson’s hurt expression. “That’s really the extent of it. Really and truly. He was just a guy I had chemistry with but not enough to drive me crazy.” Not like you. Never like you.

“Then why did he file a restraining order?”

A whoosh of air swept through my ears, leaving me lightheaded. Dizzy. “Wait, who are you talking about?” The only restraining order I’d had was with Paul. And the secret that I was working with Paul was much heavier than the David thing.

My fingers curled into the sofa behind me as I waited for him to say the name I knew he’d say.

“Paul Kresh.”

“Oh.” I nodded slowly for several seconds. “Oh.” There was nothing else to say. I had no reaction, I had no defense. “You found out about Paul.”

His teeth gritted. I could hear as he ground them together. “Since you know I’m already aware of your past with Paul, you must be referring to the fact that he’s a partner in Party Planners Plus.”

I shook my head.

“You didn’t know?” There was hope in his tone. He wanted me to not know.

But I couldn’t lie. It was one thing to keep it from him, quite another to lie outright. “Well, he’s not technically a partner, so that’s not a fair question.”

“Dammit, Alayna. Don’t hedge around the facts. Because I’d like to think that you would never do something so stupid as to sign a deal that would put you in close working proximity with someone that you are legally not supposed to be anywhere near. The Alayna I know would never do something so brainless.”

But I had signed the deal. That morning, in fact. “Guess you don’t really know me.”

He slammed his empty glass on the bar. “This is not a f*cking game!”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I raised my voice to match his. “I’m the one who has the restraining order. I get the seriousness of the situation.” I pointed my finger into my chest at each mention of the word I so forcefully, I knew it would bruise.

“Then why?” His eyes were pleading. “You can’t have been that desperate to sign a deal. I had thought—I’d hoped—that you didn’t realize that Kresh was engaged to Julie Swaggert—”