The Family Game(50)

She nods. ‘Of course. I’m not going to let a stranger run around in the dark with my child, am I?’ she says softly, and I can tell I’ve hit a nerve. ‘This house got broken into fifteen years ago. The whole building is rigged with cameras now. You’ll see next year. We all watch the game.’ Her attention returns to my wet trouser leg. ‘I’m not sure how much I’m actually helping here,’ she says. ‘Let’s leave it, shall we? I’ll get you a fresh pair of mine instead. But right now, we need to get moving. It’s time for presents,’ she says brightly, then, assessing my expression, she adds, ‘If you’re ready, that is?’

I give her a look that I hope conveys exactly how ready I am.

‘Right. I see,’ she says carefully. ‘Well, the children are waiting for their Auntie Harriet. And I think they’d be very excited to see the winner, don’t you think?’

I decide I hate Fiona and that feeling that way is okay. I grab the flannel from her hands, briskly rub my own wet hip, and toss it away.

‘Yeah, let’s get it done.’





24 Diamonds Don’t Come from Coal and Other Facts




Saturday 17 December

The lights in Mount Sinai Hospital make the diamond bracelet around my wrist sparkle. My present, my prize, for beating the Krampus. I was a good girl; I protected the children and saved the day. I’m a regular hero.

It’s a beautiful bracelet, I can’t deny it, twinkling on my wrist in the strip lighting of the pregnancy ward.

The Krampus, or St Nicholas, or whoever the hell, left it in my shoe. All the shoes along Fiona and Oliver’s hallway were stuffed with gifts, good or bad.

My shoes alone were coated with black coal dust; a joke, apparently. Coal for the naughty. If only they knew how naughty I have actually been in my life. Though, given Robert’s tape, perhaps they do.

In my left shoe there was a leather box. Inside was a note, and beneath that note, a gift.

As I watch other couples head in for their scans, I try not to think about last night. I try to let the anger dissolve. I would be lying if I said I am not concerned that being chased by the Krampus might have done more damage than any of us realize, that this morning’s scan – instead of showing me a heartbeat – will show me only stillness. Life can be fragile sometimes.



* * *



I look down at the diamonds throwing light into colours, the only shimmer in this sterile ward.

Edward fastened it onto my still-trembling wrist in Oliver and Fiona’s hallway last night, silent in the knowledge of the almighty shit storm coming his way as soon as we got home. He saw on camera the hand sliding down my body, the look in my eyes.

Matilda sidled up beside us to inspect the winner’s spoils. ‘You get coal and diamonds, ha. That’s funny; Dad’s sense of humour all over. It’s a common misconception, that diamonds come from coal. Not true obviously. Coal is compacted rotten matter. Diamonds existed long before anything organic could even rot.’ She grins knowingly. ‘Coal comes from coal and diamonds come from diamonds.’



* * *



I straighten at the sound of a nurse’s sneakers squeaking down the corridor. Edward’s hand slips into mine. I look him in the eyes, heavy from lack of sleep, and I do not pull away.

Last night was our biggest argument. Don’t get me wrong, we’re a normal couple; we argue, but last night was a big one. It didn’t so much end as run out of words. In a nutshell, Edward didn’t warn me about the game.

‘You’re supposed to go in blind, that’s part of it. I thought you’d get a kick out of it. How could I know you’d take it that seriously? I warned you it was weird – they were weird – and you told me it was fine. That you wanted this,’ he’d argued, his pillow and bedding stacked in his arms, as baffled and upset by the extremity of my reaction to the evening as I seemed to be by his. ‘I didn’t know you’d freak out, did I? How could I know that? You should have just stopped.’

‘I don’t know, Ed, I was scared. Maybe if you’d told me about the seven-foot deformed goat man I’d have been able to make an informed decision?! Maybe me being pregnant should have twigged something for you? That and having to run around all night carrying a toddler up and down a five-fucking-storey house?!’

‘I didn’t know you’d carry him. And, not to undermine your, whatever, but Fiona’s played it pregnant. I’m pretty sure Mom did too. I didn’t know it would be an issue. I just thought you’d be good at it; that you’d find it good weird. Was I wrong? I mean you won it, didn’t you? And in record time. You did that; I didn’t make you do that.’ He stops looking at the now stony aspect of my face before continuing: ‘It was a game, Harry. Part of it is you don’t know the rules. You could have stopped – you didn’t need to run, or win. You know, the kids who get caught by the Krampus get taken to the kitchen and have ice cream!’

And that fact had put the nail in the coffin for me.

‘Oh my God, Edward. How could I have possibly known that? Jesus fucking Christ! You didn’t tell me anything. Anything at—’

‘That’s the point, Harry! To see how you do under pressure. Teamwork. And it turns out you do incredibly well. And you’re fine.’