The Ex by Freida McFadden(83)



There was, of course, a chance Pete might have finished off the bottle of wine that evening and never woken up. That would be even better—when a husband is murdered, they always look to the wife.

I was surprised by the anger I felt for Lydia as I emptied the pills into the wine bottle. I hadn’t felt this way in years. Not since Francesca.

There are three people in my life who wronged me:

Lydia, Francesca, and Joel.

Lydia saw a few cracks in my otherwise solid relationship with Joel, and encouraged him to end it so that her best friend and sorority sister Francesca would have a shot with a great guy. I believe Joel would have asked me to marry me if Lydia hadn’t intercepted.

Francesca went along with Lydia’s plan to seduce the man who was rightfully mine. I have no idea if she got pregnant on purpose so that he wouldn’t be able to leave her. I suppose not, since she never ended up telling him her news. If she had survived, he surely would have forgiven her and married her.

It was so easy to follow Francesca back then. Easy to swipe her keys from her purse. Easy to use those keys to drop her entire bottle of sleeping pills into the wine bottle she had on her counter, then watched the combination of alcohol and benzodiazepines do their trick. I led her to the bathroom. I found her razor.

She didn’t have a chance.

I didn’t intend it to look like a suicide. I left clues that the whole thing had been staged, and Francesca hadn’t taken her own life. The clues were meant to lead to Joel—meant to send him to jail for a very long time for murdering his pregnant ex-girlfriend. But the police were lazy. Joel was questioned, but the death was ruled a suicide.

Joel was despondent over Francesca’s death. He took a long leave from work, but he didn’t go to prison. He recovered. He went back to work and then started dating Cassie. He fell in love with her. They’re going to get married. They’re going to have children together. They’re going to grow old together.

He never paid. Not really.

And he was the worst one of them all. Because I had loved him.



Cassie



Cassie wonders if it’s a coincidence he brought her here to this sushi restaurant, of all places. It was a good meal and a lovely evening, but somehow, they’d never been here again. She remembers how they had joked about different types of conveyor belt restaurants. Despite everything, she smiles at the memory.

Joel holds the taxi door open for her and takes her hand in his unnecessarily as they walk the ten feet from the cab to the restaurant. As she walks inside, bright lights assault her eyes. Her right temple throbs and she regrets coming here. She should have told him she wanted to go home.

The host takes them to a booth next to the conveyor belt. It could be the very same booth they occupied on their first date. Cassie can’t remember.

“You remember this place?” he asks.

She forces a smile. “Of course I do.”

“Our first date,” he says. “First of many. I knew it would be.”

“Did you?” she asks vaguely.

“Absolutely. I had a feeling about you.”

Cassie looks around desperately for a waiter. “Do you think we could get something to drink?”

He laughs, mistaking her anxiety for something else. “Sure.”

He hails the waiter and they get two glasses of wine. Cassie taps her fingers on the table between them, her heart pounding in her chest. She can still see Anna’s eyes.

End it with him. Tonight.

She has to do it. She doesn’t have a choice. It would be too easy for Anna to go to the police. And if she does, if Joel finds out about this enormous lie she’s been keeping from him, that she’s a criminal, it will be over anyway.

And anyway, there’s always been something missing with Joel—something she could never quite put her finger on. Yes, he did save her life once. Well, twice. It fooled her into thinking she was in love with him, but as she stares across the table at him, she realizes she never really was. He’s not the Heathcliff to her Catherine. He’s not the Marv to her Bea. He’s just a man. A totally ordinary man. There will be other men. The city is full of them.

“Listen, Cassie,” he says. He takes her hand across the table, and the warmth of his fingers only makes her realize how cold her own fingers are. “The time I’ve been dating you has been the best time of my life.”

“Yes.” Cassie lifts her glass of wine.

“I know it’s a little soon,” he continues, “but sometimes you just get a feeling and you have to go with it. You know?”

Cassie drains her glass in two gulps. “Uh huh…”

“So…”

She glances around. Where’s the waiter? She needs another drink.

“Will you marry me, Cassie?”

The words penetrate through the haze in her brain. Her attention shoots back to Joel and she’s suddenly aware he’s holding a blue velvet box. The hinge of the box creaks as he opens it up, and she’s staring at a huge diamond. Too big for a girl like her.

End it with him. Tonight.

“Joel…”

“Please say yes, Cassie. Please be my wife.”

She doesn’t know he picked out the ring with Anna last week. She doesn’t know it was Anna who suggested bringing Cassie to the restaurant where they had their first date. She doesn’t know Anna assured him Cassie would say yes.

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