The Ex by Freida McFadden(29)

He sucks in a breath. “Yeah. Of course. That would be great.”

“Bookland doesn’t open until ten,” she says. “So I’ll have time to get home and change. Do you have an early shift tomorrow?”

“Eight.” He grins at her. “But I wouldn’t care if it started at five.”

She returns his smile. “Okay, then.”

They’re both slightly tipsy when they hop in an Uber, and they arrive at his apartment fifteen minutes later. His apartment is big, considering it’s just him living here—two bedrooms. Cassie wonders if Francesca ever lived here. One thing she can say for sure is there’s no sign of a woman’s touch in this place. The furniture is bare-bones, the bookcases stuffed with medical books—the only sign of luxury is the large, high-definition television in the living room.

“Drink?” Joel asks her as he flicks on the lights.

She kicks aside some old sneakers abandoned on the ground. She thinks they’re the sneakers he wears at the hospital, and she imagines bacteria and viruses emanating from the laces.

“Sorry.” He smiles sheepishly. “I would have tidied up if I knew I was going to have company.”

“That’s all right,” Cassie says. She likes the slight disorder of his place. Sometimes Joel seems a little too perfect and put-together—it’s nice to see he can be a slob sometimes too.

“So that drink…?”

She smiles. “I’ll pass.”

He hesitates for only a moment before pushing her gently against a wall and kissing her. She had a feeling they wouldn’t make it to the bedroom before things got started. He can’t wait another moment.

As Joel kisses her, Cassie notices the blinds on his window are open. Even though the lights in the living room aren’t particularly bright, they’re much brighter than the darkness outside. Anyone outside could easily see inside their window.

“Joel.” Cassie pulls away from him. “Let’s shut the lights.”

He catches his breath, his face flushed. “What?”

“It’s just…” She reaches for the light switch. “I want to turn the lights off.”

“But I want to look at you…”

“Yes, but…” She glances at the window. “I feel like we’re on display in here…”

He laughs. “You think someone is spying on us?”

She doesn’t crack a smile. How can she explain to him the continued feeling she’s gotten that someone is watching her? He’d think she’s crazy.

But his eyes soften at the look on her face. “I’ll shut the blinds, okay?”

“Okay,” she agrees.

And she doesn’t feel comfortable until all three blinds in the living room have been lowered, the outside world shut off.





Chapter 16: The Ex


They’ve been in there for three hours.

I hate that I know that. I hate that I’ve been sitting at a twenty-four-hour diner right across from Joel’s apartment building—the one with a great view of the front door. I hate that I’ve been sipping coffee, watching the door, waiting to see if she’ll come out.

Knowing she won’t.

It looks like Joel and his olive-skinned girlfriend are having a sleepover tonight.

I don’t know how I ended up here. I was having a perfectly pleasant dinner with a friend on the upper west side. Unfortunately, this friend knows me better as me-and-Joel than just me. My career isn’t doing great and I’m living with my grandmother. My whole life was the elephant in the room. We talked a lot about what was good on TV.

And then after it was over, because I couldn’t help myself, I clicked on WhereAmI. Joel wasn’t home, so on a whim, I went to his apartment building. Looking back, I’m not sure what I hoped to achieve. I was having a good hair day and I looked my best in my sleek black coat and leather boots, and I thought maybe if he saw me…

Well, all that went out the window when I saw Olive.

They looked so happy together. And she looked… well, even on a good hair day, there’s no comparison. His arm was slung around her shoulders, and he was holding her close as they laughed over a shared joke. If I came over, it would ruin their night. For that reason, I was almost tempted to do it.

But instead, I watched them walk inside.

And then I waited out here. I thought maybe she’d stay for a little while, and then he’d walk her back down and bundle her into a taxi. But she’s not coming down. She’s spending the night. I’m sure of it.

“Would you like another cup of coffee, ma’am?”

I look up at the waiter standing over me. He’s young—early twenties at the most. I remember a time when twenty-three didn’t seem painfully young. And now the twenty-year-old just ma’am’ed me. As if this night couldn’t get any worse.

The waiter raises his eyebrows at me in a concerned expression. He’s cute—the sort of boy I might have dated in college. Okay, he’s young, but not that young. It’s not like I’m twenty years older. And aren’t young guys attracted to cougars?

Maybe Nonna was right. Maybe a little no-strings-attached fun is what I need.

“Maybe one more cup,” I say.

He nods and hurries off to get the coffee pot. He’s very polite and eager to please. Clean-cut with no piercings. And I like his smile. He’s not as handsome as that Dean guy—the friend of Joel’s—but he’s appealing in his own way.