The Ex Files (Ocean View #1)(54)

Twenty-Four





-Cassie-





My stomach turns as I wait for my phone to ring. Luke is on his way over to pick me up for my father’s wedding. It’s not the wedding I’m anxious about. The chaos, stress, and disappointment it is most definitely going to be, I’ve accepted.

No, it’s turning from the knowledge of what’s going to happen after the weekend is over.

The past three weeks have been nothing short of perfect. My nights have been filled with sweat and moans and discovery. With nips and kisses and caresses. With cuddling and getting to know each other, sharing secrets, and gently poking fun. Mornings have been giggling and teasing, getting ready together, breakfast together, and making plans for the night. It’s been calls during lunch breaks and texts just to check in.

And after this weekend, it ends. It has to end before it breaks me. Because I refuse to give it the chance to break me.

But what if it’s already too late? the uptight librarian on my shoulder asks, gnawing at the end of her pencil. Surprisingly, the sex fiend also nods nervously, twirling a lock of hair around her finger as if she already knows the truth. I push them aside as my phone buzzes in my hand.

Luke: I’m downstairs. Buzz me up.

I don’t, though. I’ve already decided I need to create space for my own sanity. He can’t be up here. Not any more. I’m drawing the line.

When this is over—because it has to be over—I’m already going to walk through my apartment and see him everywhere. On my couch, eating everything bagels and at my kitchen table, helping me with my boots. In the bathroom where he sat on the toilet and watched me do my hair in the morning. At the coffee bar where he made me a cup of coffee without my telling him how I like it. It’s something I’m already going to face, but I can’t let it get any worse. Those kinds of constant reminders can destroy a woman. I saw it when my mother kept the house she shared with my dad, the house she refuses to leave or sell, regardless of the fact she’s rarely there and it’s way too big for just her.

And regardless of the endless hints he drops, hints he wants this thing between us to continue, it has to be over. Luke deserves someone who brings more to the table than familial drama and commitment issues. Someone who can confidently give themselves over to another without doubt creeping in daily.

And he’s a man, which means as much as it seems impossible now, one day he’ll do something to hurt me. Something stupid or mean, some kind of ultimate betrayal we couldn’t come back from. It would happen when I was in too deep, too far to save myself, and it would break me. And I wouldn’t survive being broken by Luke.

Cassie: On my way down.

I grab my overnight bag and the garment bag holding the way too expensive dress I bought for the wedding, which said ‘black tie’ on the invite. My phone rings in my hand before it stops, then starts again. I ignore it. He’s going to be frustrated, but I need space.

My finger is shaking as I press the ‘P’ button in the elevator before I shove it in the pocket of my jacket. Get it together, Cassandra.

When the doors ding open, Luke is standing there, waiting for me, frustration written on his face.

“What the hell, Cass?”

“Sorry, I just want to make sure we don’t hit any traffic.”

“We don’t even have to be there for six hours,” he says. I spot his truck and make my way towards it before he tugs my bag out of my hands, hefting it over his shoulder. Ever the gentleman.

“I get car sick. I don’t want to be stuck in the car any longer than necessary,” I lie.

“You’re a liar.” When I try the door handle, it’s locked. I don’t turn to face him, instead leaving my hand on the handle and looking through the glass of the passenger side door. “Cassie, what the fuck?” He sets my bag on the ground, and I fight the need to argue with him about it before his hand is on my arm and tugging me to face him.

“What?”

“Cassie, what is going on?”

“I don’t know what—”

“Don’t pull this shit on me. You can play everyone else in your life, in the world, but not me.” God, I wish he were wrong. I wish I could hide it all from him: my thoughts, my feelings, my heart. But knowing this man won’t let me into the car until I explain, I sigh.

“I’m anxious about this weekend.” The truth. The truth in its most basic form. So long as he doesn’t dig too much, we’re good.

“What, with your dad?” Sure, yeah. Let’s go with that. Let’s go with the fact I’m anxious about seeing my dad and his family and the newest step monster and enduring all of their bullshit. I say nothing. I don’t want to outright lie to him. Not to Luke. But he makes the deduction I’m praying he will, face softening with concern and comfort. “Oh, sweetheart.” A hand goes to the side of my head, pushing the hair behind my ear. “It’s all going to be fine. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

I nod halfheartedly before he presses his lips to my forehead, unlocking the truck, and he helps me in, but he’s wrong. He’s so, so wrong.

Because I fucked up and I fell for this man, and I am going to get hurt, and I will never, ever be fine again.





“So this place is fancy,” Luke says, walking around the luxurious room. “Your dad put you up in here?” I hum a noncommittal sound because he didn’t. I called a few days ago to see if I was registered, and there was no room in my name. The entire wedding party, the entire family, has a room paid for and booked by my father except for me.