The Direction of the Wind: A Novel(82)
Sophie nods. “I have so much to think about. Mostly, I’m just sad that she was so lost. There is so much more I need to learn about addiction, but I just wonder if I could have done something to make her happier than she was—something that would have avoided all this pain for her.”
Cecile shakes her head. “Please don’t put yourself through that. You were a child, and that was your only job back then.”
Sophie hopes that she can file away Cecile’s words and recall them when she revisits these thoughts, as she surely will. Even though she knows Cecile is right, it is hard for Sophie to accept that she had no control over the situation. And she cannot help but wonder if those issues have been passed down to her by Nita.
As if reading her thoughts, Cecile shakes her head. “You are your own person, just as your mother was her own person. I’ve only known you a short while, but I think you’ll always stay in control of your destiny. And when things get tough, like they are for you now, you’ll figure out how to claw your way back home.”
Sophie exhales a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “I can’t believe I have made such supportive friends in this short time,” Sophie says. “My mother was lucky to have known you, and I’m lucky to have met you now. You were a link in time that I could never have imagined. Without you, I’d still be searching for her. I’d still be searching for myself, really.”
“Life hardly ever works out,” Cecile says, “but on those rare occasions when it does lead you to the right place, it is a thing of beauty.”
Sophie takes this advice to heart and knows she wants to see this journey as a positive, pivotal point in her life. While she would have loved nothing more than to reunite with Nita, she has found something she could never have expected. A brother. A family member whom she feels a responsibility to even though she’s never met him. She finds herself needing and wanting to take care of someone else instead of constantly looking for someone to take care of her. She is ready to take care of herself and does not expect anyone else to do that for her. She is ready to turn self-reliance into independence because she now understands the difference between the two. She is ready to face what comes next, whatever that may be. And it starts with Vijay.
49
Sophie is grateful that Sharmila Foi has booked her on a direct flight to Los Angeles. She is mentally, emotionally, and physically drained as she boards the plane and embarks on the second international flight in her life, heading toward yet another country and continent to which she has never been and where she does not know a soul. The mobile number Dao had for Simon was out of service, as was the email address for him, so Sophie is armed only with an address in a place called Santa Monica. But Sophie is resolute. She’s worked with less in the past week.
Her fois have booked her a hotel room and wired some money so she does not have to struggle as she did in Paris, and she is even more appreciative of her comforts now. She can think of no better way to spend some of the money Papa has left to her. Her fois made clear that after this journey she is to return home, where they can keep a watchful eye over her and make sure she is safe, and Sophie does not mind. She is ready to go home. Nita might have been searching for the place in which she felt at peace, but Sophie is lucky enough to know that place is Ahmedabad for her. And her travels outside of it have confirmed that.
When she reaches Los Angeles, Sophie is surprised by the pleasant temperatures in November. It is much warmer than the chilly streets of Paris, but that is only the start of the differences. Other than the fact that the city is filled with Westerners, she cannot find another similarity. There are hardly any people walking on the streets, and the city is so spread out that everyone is in cars. There is traffic and congestion like Ahmedabad, but it is more orderly than back home. There are no animals on the roads, and people obey the traffic signs and slowly move along wide multilane highways in neat rows, like ants marching toward a mango peel.
She has given the taxi driver Simon’s address and considers what she should say when she arrives. She is dropped off in front of an average-size white house with light-gray shutters along the outside of the windows and curtains on the inside. A white picket fence surrounds the perimeter, and there is a well-manicured garden with flowers and fragrant herbs along the front of the house. There is short green grass expanding from the house to the fence, and Sophie has not seen lush greenery surrounding homes like this. Ahmedabad is so dry and arid and polluted. She tries to picture a little boy—her little brother—playing in the yard. It looks nothing like the life she has in Ahmedabad, but she hopes it has been a good life all the same. She is wielding both her suitcase and the one Dao had given her with Nita’s belongings and realizes she probably should have gone to the hotel first and dropped them off. Surely, Simon will find it odd to see her laden with luggage as if she intends to stay indefinitely.
The air is cool and crisp, and she can smell the salty water of the nearby ocean. The only time she has ever seen the ocean was when Papa took her on a trip to Goa for her fourteenth birthday, and she already knows she differs from her brother in this way.
Sophie pushes open the small gate in the white picket fence, makes her way up the sidewalk, and tries to tuck her suitcases off to the side before she rings the doorbell. A chime sounds within, and she is surprised to hear a dog barking inside and paws padding closer to the door.