The Direction of the Wind: A Novel(59)

They find themselves along the bridge, the city lights twinkling on either side of them and the river shimmering below. It is peaceful and quiet compared to the bustle of the city during the day. They lean against the thick stone wall of the bridge and take in the view.

“It’s okay. I actually lied to you too,” Kiran says as he turns to face her.

“What do you mean?” she asks, feeling nervous.

“I knew you when we were kids growing up.”

She scans her mind for any memory of him but comes up empty. She wonders if he is just another person like Anjali and Saumil who is out to swindle her in some way and now wishes she wasn’t standing alone with him on this bridge.

“It’s nothing bad.” He holds up his hands. “At least I don’t think it is. We used to play together when we were kids. My family lived in your neighborhood for a few months. You were five, and I was eight. We played cricket in your yard with some of the other local kids, and I remembered how fiery you were about wanting to play with the boys. The memories stuck with me.”

Sophie recalls playing cricket as a child with the neighborhood boys, but she had stopped playing after she’d been told Nita had died. She had stopped doing a lot of things after that. Papa wanted to keep her under his watchful eye for as much of the day as possible, so Sophie spent more and more time at home with him or her fois. But she doesn’t have any specific memories of the other boys. She remembers the ones she grew up with, but there were some, like Kiran, who came and went, and Sophie would never be able to identify them today.

“A few months after we moved, my mummy told me yours had died, and I remember how bad I felt hearing the news. I could not have imagined such a loss as a child.”

“Yes, well, apparently we were all duped.” Sophie is surprised by the anger in her tone and even more surprised that she would share something so personal with someone she hardly knows. But thinking about Kiran and his family sending condolences for the fake death of Nita inflames her. It makes the lies and selfishness of Nita, Papa, and the other relatives more pronounced.

“What do you mean?”

Sophie stares at the Seine shimmering beneath them, the reflection of lights from nearby buildings dancing along its surface. “My mummy didn’t die. She apparently just didn’t want to be my mummy anymore.” She chokes on the last sentence, her eyes glistening.

Kiran ignores Indian conventions and puts his arm around her shoulders. “I’m so sorry. I did not know.”

She swipes the salty streams from her face. “Neither did I. Until last week.”

“That’s why you’ve come here? She lives here?”

Sophie nods, the warmth of his arm across her back. “I don’t know exactly where she lives or even if she is still alive, given how many years have passed, but when she left us, she came to Paris, and now I’m trying to find her.”

“What will you say when you do?”

She hasn’t gotten that far in her thinking. What will she say? I grew up fine without you! Where were you when I needed you? You didn’t even say goodbye or call on my birthdays. Would that have been so hard? But the most important question she has is simply, Why?

“I suppose I won’t know until I find her.”

“You haven’t seen her yet?”

Sophie shakes her head. “It’s why I’m still here. I think I’m close to finding her, and I can’t go back to India until I’ve done that. And even after that, who knows how I will feel about anything after meeting her.” She touches his arm. “It wasn’t fair of me to hold you hostage during that process. You should go and live your life. Find a woman who wants to be a wife and mummy now. You deserve to move on to that next chapter.”

He stares at her hand on his arm, and she pulls it away, worried she crossed some line.

“You’ve removed your ring,” he says solemnly.

She watches him stare at her naked left hand. She manages a small smile and pats her waist. “It is a long story, but I have it hidden beneath my shirt. I did not want to flash expensive jewelry and make myself a target.”

He nods, looking relieved. He is silent for a few moments, staring out at the city. “I’m not sure that I want someone else. To be honest, when my parents first suggested you, I was excited because I remembered that spirited young kid who would not take no for an answer. I didn’t want the typical docile woman that my parents would think is a suitable match. Then when we met, it seemed that fire was gone, and I thought maybe it was because you had just lost your papa.” He turns to her and smiles. “But now I see you here, and I see that light again.”

Sophie has never thought of herself as fiery. That was a trait people had attributed to Nita but never to her. Sophie had been demure, obedient, and risk averse, but maybe that was all to please Papa. He certainly had never encouraged any spirited behavior.

“I’m afraid you might not know me very well,” she says.

“Maybe so, but I want to learn more. I think we could have a good marriage still, Sophie.”

“Kiran, this is not something I can answer right now. My priorities have changed, and it would be misleading of me to suggest otherwise.” Sophie knows marriage is the next step in her life after she finds Nita, but who knows when that will be. She sees a kindness in Kiran, but she cannot expect him to wait until she resolves her unknown.