The Devil You Know (The Devils #3)(57)



“A bikini is actually standard attire for a—”

“You are intentionally missing the goddamn point.”

“I don’t know,” I reply, too tired to be defensive, too tired to say, “you have an excuse for everything, but you don’t want me to meet your friends and it hurts.” “It was Keeley’s idea. And now you sound jealous.”

“Yeah,” he replies, jaw grinding. “No shit.”

We stare at each other for a moment, and then his shoulders drop and he closes the distance between us, pulling me to him. I go reluctantly. “Next time,” he says, “just ask me.”

“I’m asking you now,” I reply, turning my face up to look at him and then dropping my gaze when it feels like I might cry. “I’ve seen the girls you take to these weekends away. They’re all over your friend’s feed. Yet you didn’t bring me.”

“And you wanted to go?” he asks.

“No.” It’s such a fucking lie. “I just want to know why.”

“Did it ever occur to you that if pictures of the people I bring are all over Drew’s feed, then you’d then be all over Drew’s feed?” he demands, irritated anew. “Even if I asked her not to post, she can’t go anywhere without getting photographed, and the rest of us get photographed too. And that would be a problem because you don’t want to go to HR.”

Oh. Right. Shit.

“Get your clothes,” he says. “We’re going home.”

I want to agree. Even if I’m hurt, and he’s the cause, he’s still the only place I want to be. “You don’t have to do that,” I tell him instead. “I can Uber. Go back to your friends.”

“Gemma,” he whispers, pressing his lips to my temple and forehead in turn. “Do you really think for a second I wouldn’t rather be with you?”

I let my eyes fall closed for a minute and rest my head against his chest.

I want to believe him. I want to stop being like this.

But I don’t know how…and I’m still not certain I should.





33





Something shifts after the Palm Springs weekend. Even if we don’t say it, even if we still haven’t gone to HR, I can no longer deny we’re a couple. I guess the truth is…I don’t want to deny it. He’s at my place every night and it’s hard to imagine not having him there.

He appears in my office early in the evening, the way he always does. His eyes drift over my face in that way of his—languid and possessive at once—and I’m immediately picturing his head between my legs. Alas, it’s not to be.

“You can’t come over,” I tell him. “I have to do some shopping.”

There’s been no time to get gifts for Victoria’s kids because Ben’s always around, and I’ve put it off for as long as I can.

His full mouth tips into a filthy smile. “I don’t mind shopping.”

“It’s not sexy shopping,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “I think you’re picturing sitting in the dressing room of La Perla while I try on lingerie.”

“I wasn’t, but now I am.” He glances toward the door, then leans down to let his lips brush my neck. “I’ll come anyway.”

I make him drive me to the Target over on Beverly Boulevard. “Are we here to finally make your apartment look less creepy?” he asks.

“I like my creepy apartment.” I push a cart toward him and get one of my own.

“Liar.”

I laugh. Fine, I don’t like my creepy apartment. “I’m not decorating my place because it’s temporary. I’ll be a whole new me in a year or two.”

“Right,” he says. “Widowed veteran or whatever.”

“Veterinarian.”

“Do you even like animals?”

I pull the kids’ letters from my purse. “Stay on task. We’re toy shopping.” I hand him Phillip’s list.

A single brow arches as he looks it over. “I wasn’t expecting your shopping lists to contain quite so many Nerf guns.”

I smile. “It’s this kid I know. Just…pick some stuff. Not twenty Nerf guns, but maybe two of them, and then some other things.”

“This is an odd way to tell me you’ve got kids, Gemma,” he says.

I roll my eyes. “They belong to a friend. Money is a little tight this year.”

Money will be tight every year for Victoria, for the rest of her damn life. It bothers me. Those kids could become anything they wanted, and I’m not sure they’ll ever get the chance. Sure, I put myself through college and law school, but I also spent my childhood surrounded by people who’d made it, and who’d assured me I would too. They don’t have that.

I leave him studying the Legos and head to the book section for Lola. Delight stirs inside me as I browse the covers, just like it did when I was a child, combing through books at the library every Wednesday afternoon.

I’d forgotten it until now but…my mom was right. I was a really happy kid. I guess, actually, I’m kind of happy now too. I freeze for a moment, shocked by the realization, and stare at Ben as he approaches with an entirely full cart.

I’m happy for the first time in six years because of you.

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