The Dead and the Dark(82)

He left the saw and scrambled down the ramp, through the muck, and farther into the rain. Outside Barton Lumber’s domineering wood fence, Alejo paused in the parking lot and stared up at the sky, letting thick drops of rain coat his face.

“Hey,” Brandon called. “Hey, I’m sorry about that. They shouldn’t have … well, I don’t know what they said. But I’m sorry.”

Alejo turned and cupped a hand over his brow, blinking away the rain. He was just how Brandon remembered. He cleared his throat and said, “I appreciate it.”

Brandon held out a slightly damp hand. “Brandon Woodley.”

“From the boat shop.” Alejo shook his hand. He smiled in the way a person smiled when they were waiting for a better explanation. “I always wanted to buy a boat there. Seems like lots of things are different around here now.”

“I don’t know.” Brandon looked away from the yard toward town. “It feels about the same to me.”

“Ah,” Alejo sighed. “Maybe I changed.”

“What was that about?” Brandon asked, motioning back to the yard.

“You didn’t hear?” Alejo mused. “Snakebite’s never seen a queer before. There’ll probably be a mob at the motel when I get back.”

Brandon’s eyes widened. Before he’d left for college, Alejo Ortiz was Snakebite’s golden child. He had everything: perfect grades, a perfect girlfriend, a perfect life. He had a laugh that lit up a room. When people talked, he actually listened. Alejo was the promise of everything Snakebite should be. He was the kind of person Brandon wished he could be around. The kind of person Brandon wished he could become.

Alejo looked different now. His expression was darker, like he was always one step from a frown. But his eyes were the same. His laugh made Brandon’s stomach drop.

“Well,” Brandon said, “I think you’re really brave. That’s all.”

“Cool.” Alejo’s expression soured. “Did you run out here just to tell me that?”

“I…”

The rain continued to fall around them, soaking the parking lot in a sheen of black. He wasn’t sure why he’d come out here. He could’ve just let Alejo leave. He didn’t need to stand here, soaking wet with his heart jumping up his throat. He’d always known he was different—he’d always known he was gay—but for the first time, he wasn’t alone. There was someone else like him. Someone who’d gone out into the world and come back alive.

“Why did you come back?” Brandon asked.

Alejo eyed him warily. “I can’t tell if you’re nosy or if you’re trying to tell me we, uh … have something in common.”

Brandon took a deep breath. He was going to be brave. Just for once in his life, he was not going to roll under the tide. He was going to reach for the shore. “I just want to talk to you. I guess I have for a long time.”

“We’re talking now.”

“You didn’t have to come back here. You could’ve stayed in Seattle. Why did you come back?”

“You know a lot about my life, dude.” Alejo shook his head, but slowly his expression twisted into an amused smile. “It was a lot easier up there. I don’t know why I thought everyone here would let it slide. I guess because it’s me.”

“Does Tammy know?”

Alejo laughed. “I guess she does now. We broke up two years ago. She probably thinks this is why.”

“What about Frank?”

Alejo waved a hand. “Frank is Frank. He doesn’t care. He’s probably the only friend I’ve got left around here.”

“Are you gonna leave?”

Alejo folded his arms. “Should I? Seems like you’ve stuck around.”

Brandon chewed on the question; people didn’t usually ask him questions about himself. “I can’t go. I … this is home. I don’t know how to explain it. There’s something here that I just can’t—”

“—get away from?” Alejo asked. He leaned against his car and his dark eyes shone with the light from the passing storm clouds. “There’s things I feel in Snakebite that I don’t feel anywhere else. I could’ve stayed in Seattle, but it felt like running away. It’s like there’s stuff I still have to do.”

“Yeah,” Brandon sighed. “Yeah.”

“So you don’t wanna leave,” Alejo said. “I don’t, either.”

“Which means we’re just stuck.”

“Fun,” Alejo said. He laughed, and it was as quiet and easy as Brandon remembered. “I assume you’re telling me all this for a reason?”

“I…” Brandon rubbed the back of his neck. Talking was hard, and putting words to the unidentified years of tumult in his gut was even harder. What did he want? There was a reason he’d chased Alejo out here, but now that he was standing here in the rain, he couldn’t remember. The dark loneliness that always lingered in the ground under him was quiet around Alejo. “I remember you from before all this. You were … I don’t know. Everyone was always happy around you. You paid attention. It always felt like you actually cared.”

Alejo laughed. “Discriminated against one second and hit on the next. Snakebite is really full of surprises.”