The Dead and the Dark(56)

Logan pressed her lips together, squashing whatever she meant to say next. Just like that, Ashley knew she’d killed the easy tone of it all. She hadn’t meant to bring up the disappearances—tonight was supposed to be murder-free—but it was always lingering in the air around her.

“Hey, we’re not talking about dead people,” Logan said.

“Right.” Ashley closed her eyes. She didn’t want to talk about investigating. She just wanted a friend. “When this is over, are you gonna go home?”

Logan hugged a pillow tight to her chest. “I don’t know. To be honest, I don’t really know if LA is home for me. When I was growing up, my dad said home wasn’t a place we lived. It was when we were together. All three of us.”

Her voice was quieter than usual, dark eyes tracing the crisscross ceiling pattern in silence. It was only in quiet moments like this that the sadness came through. Because that was the thing about Logan—under the sharp one-liners and incredulous glares, there was always a sadness that felt so deep Ashley thought she could fall into it and never reach the bottom. It was a sadness Logan had sewn into her chest. That she’d fashioned into a piece of her personality.

“You don’t think that anymore?”

Logan shook her head. “I don’t know. Once we moved to LA, I was just alone all the time. I thought the show would end eventually and it would be the three of us again. But it was like I was always waiting. Even if we leave here and go back, I just … I don’t know.”

Ashley held her breath for a moment. “What’s wrong?”

Logan looked at her. It felt like the first time she really looked at her. She pursed her lips for a moment like she was considering whether or not the truth was worth it. Then, she sighed. “I talked to my dads. About everything. Or, I tried to. But Brandon just shut down. He literally walked away.”

“Oh.” Ashley cleared her throat. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. But it’s not like it’s the first time. He just … shuts down.” Logan wiped her nose. “They let me on the show once. Alejo wasn’t there, it was just me and Brandon in Tulsa. Everything was fine, and then we were in the tunnels and I kept asking him questions and he just freaked. He wouldn’t even look at me. He told me to go home and leave him alone. And then that was it. They never let me on the show again. And he never … since Tulsa, this is how he’s been.”

Logan faced Ashley, but she stared past her at the motel wall. For a second, Ashley thought she might cry.

“That’s so sad,” Ashley said, and the words felt immature and wrong. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Logan said, voice quiet like a sigh. “I don’t know if he hates me or whatever. Until then, I really was trying to make it work. But I’ve got other plans now. When I turn eighteen, I’m gonna pack up and hit the road. I’m gonna find a place that actually feels like home.”

Logan looked at her. Her black hair fell at her neck, glowing with a warm sheen from the string lights. Ashley listened to the thrumming rhythm of her own heartbeat. She clutched the comforter between her fingers and inhaled the scent of air conditioner and musk. She was a different Ashley tonight.

What was wrong with her?

“You could stay in Snakebite,” Ashley said.

Logan’s brow furrowed. “I really can’t.”

“People will get better after we figure all this stuff out. You’d just be one of us.” The wall behind Logan was a blur of green and brown. Ashley stared at it instead of looking Logan in her eyes. “You wouldn’t have to keep moving around. You could stay here.”

Logan smiled, but it was bitter and cool. “Cute idea, but I wanna go somewhere that people don’t default hate me. In fact, I’d love to live somewhere they actually like me.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know yet.” Logan shrugged. “There’s lots of places. I’ll find one.”

Ashley looked down. As much as she wanted to believe there was a place like that—a place where people didn’t feel so alone all the time—it was starting to feel like it wasn’t about the town itself. Before Tristan’s disappearance, Ashley had loved everything about Snakebite. This had been home. She’d never felt alone here.

“Here’s a thought,” Logan said. She pointedly avoided eye contact. “You could come with me.”

Ashley’s throat was tight. “You mean leave Snakebite?”

“Sorry, that’s stupid.” Logan cleared her throat and tilted her head to face the ceiling. “Obviously you’d wanna stay here. You’ve got the farm and all that.”

Ashley’s grip on the comforter tightened. There was something strange about Logan’s suggestion, like she’d pulled open the curtains and revealed a horizon Ashley had never seen. In all her years in Snakebite, no one had ever asked if she wanted to leave. It had never occurred to her that she could just … go. But Logan said it like it was easy. The thought almost made Ashley laugh.

“It’s not stupid,” Ashley said. “I just don’t think I could—”

“No worries. I take it back.” Logan ran a hand through her hair. “I always say stuff that makes no sense when I’m tired. That’s all. When I leave Snakebite, I wanna leave by myself.”