The Dead Ex(49)

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. But as soon as they got to the room called ‘Domestic Visits’, her mother’s jaw set as she took in Dee. It probably didn’t help that Dee had had her hand on her shoulder, the way she sometimes did to give her courage. Scarlet moved away but it was too late. Mum had seen.

‘Hello.’ Dee had what Robert called ‘my wife’s sweet angel face’ on. ‘How very nice to meet you. I thought it would be reassuring for you if I came along so you can see who your daughter is living with. She’s very happy with us. Aren’t you, love?’

Scarlet cringed. This was awful. Dee might be trying to be nice but she was making it worse. ‘It’s all right, Mum,’ she wanted to say. ‘I’d rather live with you. You do know that, don’t you?’

But that would seem rude in front of Dee!

‘I know it can’t be easy for you being in prison,’ she continued.

Stop! Mum was looking really upset. Dee was sounding all school-teachery now.

‘I can promise you that as your daughter’s foster mother, I …’

‘Shut up!’ Mum’s face had gone all blotchy red and her eyes were glittering with fury. ‘Don’t you dare use the word “mother”. I’m her mother. Do you hear me? No one else, especially not some bleeding-heart do-gooder like you.’

‘It’s all right.’ Dee’s voice was low. Gentle. The way it was when she was explaining maths homework to Scarlet. ‘I get how you feel. It’s normal for you to feel angry. But … Ouch!’

Scarlet gasped out loud. Her mother had scratched Dee down the right side of her face. ‘Are you all right?’

‘What about me?’ Mum screamed as the officers took her away. ‘Don’t you care about your own mother? You traitor!’

‘I’m not,’ she cried back. But it was too late. She’d gone. ‘It’s all right, love,’ said Dee taking her hand. But Scarlet pushed her away. How could she have allowed herself to get so close to her and Robert, sometimes imagining they were her proper parents? Mum had been right. She was a traitor. After that, Scarlet told Dee to go away when she got her nightmares.

‘I do understand that your emotions are divided,’ Dee told her. There were still marks down her cheek from where Mum had scratched her. Scarlet tried not to look. ‘I really do. Remember I was in care myself when I was a kid?’

But could this be a lie to make Scarlet love Dee again?

After that, the prison bitch wouldn’t permit Scarlet to visit for a bit because of Mum’s behaviour. Didn’t they all realize it was a punishment for her as well? When she was finally allowed back, the social worker went with her. Mum seemed much quieter. ‘I’m sorry about before,’ Scarlet had whispered. ‘You know that you’re the only person I love.’

‘I hope so,’ whispered Mum. ‘Cross your heart?’

‘And hope to die,’ added Scarlet, just for good measure.

‘I miss you, baby. I don’t know if I can go on for much longer without you.’

But now it was all going to change.

‘I’ve got my parole!’

Mum’s voice screamed the news down the phone.

At first, Scarlet thought she was crying. But then she realized it was laughter.

‘I don’t get it. What does that mean?’

‘They’re going to let me out. Isn’t that great! We can live together again.’

Scarlet’s heart began to pound with apprehension. Why? She should be happy. ‘Where will we live?’

‘I don’t know where, but it doesn’t matter, does it? Just as long as you and I are with each other.’ Mum started to cry again. ‘It’s made me ill not to be with you. All I think about is my little girl and how they’ve taken your childhood away from me. I’ll never get over it. None of this was my fault, love. You’ve got to believe that.’

Of course she did. Scarlet knew that. Mum had told her enough times. But she also couldn’t help worrying. ‘Will we have to go back to the old flat?’ she asked.

‘No bloody way. They’ll have to rehouse us somewhere else.’

‘Maybe you could come and live here with Dee and Robert.’

‘Why the fuck would I want to do that? Don’t you love me any more, baby?’

‘Course I do, Mum.’

‘SHUT THE FUCK UP.’

‘What?’

‘Sorry, love. I wasn’t talking to you. The bitch behind me keeps going on about how I’ve been on the phone too long. Now piss off.’

‘What?’

‘Her, love. Not you. Not my baby.’

Then Mum burst into tears all over again, but before Scarlet could comfort her, the line went dead.

Dee was in the kitchen when Scarlet had come in after the phone call. ‘Everything all right?’

She put the kettle on the Aga, or the Ah Ger as she’d first called it when she came here. It was bright red. Like blood. But when you leaned against it you felt all warm and cosy.

‘Sort of.’

Then she told Dee about what Mum had said about coming out and how she was so excited but also scared about where they would live.

‘I’ll miss you,’ she said suddenly.

Dee’s eyes were wet. ‘I’ll miss you too, love. But we’ll always keep in touch.’