The Dead Ex(24)

‘Really?’

‘Yes.’ I follow him and reach for the bottle, which – because it’s a controlled drug – I keep on a high shelf as advised by the consultant.

The detective is watching me closely. ‘Do you ever forget to take it?’ he asks.

‘No.’ I neglect to mention there are times when I choose not to for reasons already given. Sometimes I think I’m damned if I swallow the stuff and damned if I don’t.

I point to the DON’T FORGET board on the wall with its jaunty border of flowers around it. There’s a mark for each date. I add to it now.

‘Go on,’ I say. ‘Take a look for the day that David went missing.’

It’s there. We can both see it. So is the mark for the day before and the day after.

‘It can’t be easy for you,’ he says in a softer tone.

‘It’s not.’ This time his kindness seems genuine, causing my eyes to blur. I turn to one side. ‘I’d make you a cup of tea,’ I say, ‘but I don’t have a kettle, as you can see.’

He raises an eyebrow.

‘Hot liquids,’ I add. ‘I might scald myself. Some people use microwaves to make hot drinks but there’s still a chance you could get burned.’

I’m definitely striking a chord there. I learned that in my old life. Find something that makes others sympathetic. It’s the first chink in the armour. Then you start to get in there.

But has this man found my chink yet?

There’s nothing for it but to wait and see.





10



Scarlet

13 March 2007


The next morning, Scarlet woke to find Dawn prodding her in the ribs. ‘Get up. Quick. Mrs W is going mental. She wants us out early.’

Yesterday began to float back to her. The DVDs in the shop. The man they’d sold them to. The ginger-haired boy in Dawn’s bed. Still, thought Scarlet with a fresh spring of hope, maybe they’d let her see Mum today.

‘We’re going to have to go to school,’ said Dawn. ‘Or they might get suspicious. But we’ll do a sick note first and pretend it’s from Mrs W.’

‘Won’t they check it with her writing?’

‘They’re too busy to bother. You do it. My spelling’s crap.’

‘After school, will you help me get to see Mum?’

Dawn was pulling up her tights now. They had holes in the knee. ‘She’s banged up. Didn’t get bail, according to what I heard Mrs W say.’

‘What’s bail?’

Her new friend’s voice softened. ‘It’s when they let you out before the trial. But they won’t give it you if they think you’ll run off or are dangerous.’

Dangerous meant the man in the flat next to their old home, who had beaten up his son. Dangerous meant cars that drove too fast, like the one that knocked over a kid from their block last Christmas. Dangerous meant one of the uncles who had offered her some white powder ‘as a joke’. Mum said she’d bloody well kill him if he didn’t get out there and then.

‘My mother wouldn’t hurt anyone.’

Dawn was pulling up her skirt now. It didn’t cover the holes in her tights. ‘Then count yourself bleeding lucky. Mine tried to strangle me once when she was pissed.’

‘That’s really bad.’

‘No, there’s worse than that.’ Dawn had a weird look on her face. ‘My brother stopped her. It was the next bit that was shit.’

Scarlet said nothing. This was something she’d learned from Mum. Sometimes you had to wait to get someone to give you an explanation.

But Dawn was silent for a bit as though there was something in her mouth that she didn’t like the taste of. ‘Anyway,’ she said at last. ‘It don’t matter now. Someone told on him and then the authorities got me.’

Told on him? Who? What had her brother done, wondered Scarlet. But she didn’t like to ask.

‘You done that note yet?’

‘Shall I tell them we all had a stomach bug?’

‘Can you spell stomach?’ Dawn frowned. ‘I’m not sure I can. We need to get it right or they’ll know we wrote it ourselves.’

‘S–T–O–M–A–K.’

‘You’re clever, Scarlet. I’ll say that.’

Then Scarlet got dressed in the same clothes she’d worn the day before because there weren’t any others. Her knickers were still damp from where she’d got scared in the shop and they rubbed against her skin. It didn’t feel – or smell – nice.

‘Bloody hell, you’ve wet the mattress again. You’ll get it from Mrs W like last time. Get some toilet paper to soak it up. Quick.’

But the bathroom door was locked. There was always someone there because there were so many of them. You just had to cross your legs. If you could.

‘IF YOU LOT AREN’T DOWN HERE NOW, YOU WON’T GET NOTHING TO EAT!’ roared Mrs W from downstairs.

‘C’mon.’ Dawn was pulling her by the hand. ‘Not that it’s worth rushing for.’

‘The cereal’s all gone,’ moaned ginger Darren.

‘That’s because someone here’s had more than their fair share.’