The Dating Proposal(7)

“Hey there, all you fashion hounds and fashionistas. I have a very special edition today. It’s a little more personal than usual, but it’s chock-full of the best clothing tips.” On-screen me pauses dramatically then declares, “It’s the best outfit for when you’re finally ready to date again after a prolonged time-out.”

Julia leaps from the couch, her red curtain of hair flying behind her. She crushes me in a hug while the video plays, detailing my attire when I met the restaurateur. “That’s what I wore when I was asked out . . .” I gasp dramatically, leaning into the camera to whisper, “in real life.”

Julia lets go and mouths, No kidding?

Girl scout’s honor, I mouth back.

The video finishes, and I’m engulfed in a group hug. No one has wanted this more than my best friends.

When we manage to separate, we return to the cushy couch where they pepper me with questions.

“When did this happen?” Hayden asks.

“How did you decide you were ready?” Erin tosses out.

I give a quick overview of running into Todd and Amber. They cringe and offer sneers for him and leg pats for me, but I assure them it didn’t hurt. “It reminded me that I’m over him. That I’m ready for the next phase.”

“And you met someone right away?” Erin asks.

“Yeah, who is this guy who asked you out? The one you mentioned on your vid?” Julia inquires.

“Are you on the apps?” Hayden asks, reaching for her wine with her long arm. Well, both arms are long. She might be part-giraffe. Her limbs are endless.

“Aha,” I answer. “That’s my grand plan, and I think it’s innovative.”

“To go on the apps?” Erin asks, deadpan. “Everyone’s on the apps, hon. That’s how I met Pete.” Pete’s her live-in boyfriend. “Hate to break it to you, but everyone meets on the apps these days.”

I heave a dramatic sigh. “I know. And since it’s been, oh, six long years since I dated, I’m a little app-averse.” Todd and I met when I graduated from college; we were together for five years. And back in college? No one needed apps. College was one gigantic hookup fest.

Ah, those were the good old days.

“Basically, I haven’t dated. Ever,” I say in a confessional tone.

Erin gives me the side-eye. “Really?”

“I had a couple hookups in college and then a boyfriend my junior year. So that would make high school the last time I actually went on a regular date.” I let out a long stream of air. “Damn, that was a long time ago. I’ve more or less missed the online-dating phenomenon.”

“So what’s your plan?” Julia asks. “Are you going to do Plenty of Fish or Bumble or Tinder or something else?”

I wiggle my eyebrows, bubbling with enthusiasm. “I’m going to get back in the saddle IRL.”

Erin tilts her head, like she didn’t understand. “IRL?”

“Yes. In real life.”

She rolls her eyes. “I know what the acronym means. But why on earth would you do that? We have better options these days.”

“Sweetie, I know you met Pete online. But he’s the exception.”

Hayden clears her throat. “I met Greg while shopping for a watch for my father. He was shopping for the same watch for himself.”

Erin shoots her a you’ve got to be kidding me look. “You met Greg sixteen years ago.”

Hayden’s jaw drops. “Don’t be an ageist just because I’m nearly ten years older than you ladies.”

Julia pats Hayden’s knee. “Forgive her. She knows not what she does. Plus, we love your wisdom when you share it, and your young-at-heartness too.”

“Thanks. I’ll be right back. Just need to get my dentures.” Hayden rises as if to go.

Erin tugs her back down. “I love you. Just saying, though, you and Greg met before apps were trendy.”

“Guys,” I cut in. “I don’t want to get on the apps. I know there are plenty of successful matches, but I’ve heard horror stories too. Every woman I talk to has an online dating tale that will scar you. Kara from Redwood Ventures, my lead investor, told me about a guy who tried to talk her into a threesome on the first date. A makeup blogger I know went out with a guy she met online, and in the first hour, he tried to recruit her for his pyramid scheme.”

Julia jumps in. “I’ve heard of that. It’s actually becoming a common way for the MLM-ers to bring new recruits in. I hear all those stories, too, at my bar.”

I nod. “My point exactly. Besides, I’m more of an old-school gal. I like my old-time music, and I like the idea of meeting someone in real life. Seeing if there’s chemistry. So here’s my plan—I thought I’d do a little video series. My videos always do best on Insta and online when I make them personal. And I try to be open on those social channels. So why not pair my fashion expertise with dating? It’ll keep me motivated to put myself out there.”

“Since you’re married to work,” Erin puts in.

“Work has been faithful to me,” I add.

“It’s understandable that you’d want to connect your dating quest with business if you can. You’re an online influencer. Your Instagram fashion vids get crazy views,” Julia points out. “So, you’re going to do a what-to-wear-on-dates kind of thing?”