The Crush (43)

Paige was the one who approached me about investing in an event planning company. I was the face, the person who coordinated all the events, but Molly and Paige were the strategic brains who helped me grow. Without their guidance, I wasn’t sure I would’ve made it in Seattle after Nick and I broke up.

And because I was a de facto member of the family, I was still the one who planned every single big event they celebrated.

Molly came out of the kitchen, a wide smile on her face. “Hi. I haven’t seen you in forever.”

I gave her a look. “I was here three weeks ago.”

Molly sighed. “I know. Forever.”

With a laugh—and without looking at Emmett’s picture on the fridge—I followed her out into the backyard.

“I am very easy to miss. I get it.”

I said the words lightly enough, and Molly laughed because I knew she would. But saying them … in the house where he grew up. It hurt. It hurt more than I expected because it was supposed to get easier. It was supposed to hurt less as time passed, and I was finding the exact opposite to be true.

I’d gone over a month without watching SportsCenter. I turned off the Google alert on his name.

I’d only thought of him once the past week while I was in the shower.

Fine. Twice.

I hated that I still wondered if he did miss me. Or if I’d been fooling myself that I could do one night with him and be able to move on easily. He did what I’d asked of him, and like Greer said, it was the right thing at the time.

But that didn’t make the way I missed him any easier to deal with.

Maybe in a year, I’d be able to think about him without my entire heart flinching. What a very depressing goal to aim for.

“Luna colored a picture for you,” Molly said.

“I will add it to my collection. What are we obsessed with this month?”

Molly narrowed her eyes. “Sparkly superheroes.”

“Ahh,” I said. “Sounds like her.”

“We’ve gone through all the glitter in that art pack you bought her for her birthday.”

“Already?”

“It’s everywhere.” She grinned as she took a seat. “Noah showed up to film for Game Day, and pink glitter was stuck to the back of his neck.”

Paige laughed.

I took a seat next to Molly, pulling binders out of the box and handing one to each of them. Then the bottles of wine that would come after the meeting, because it was our tradition to end a big planning session with a couple of drinks. “Can she come for a sleepover sometime this week? I miss her face.”

“She’d love that.” Molly pulled out her phone. “Just tell me what works for you.”

“I’ll look when we’re done.” The first page of the binder was a list of what we’d need. “Did you get a chance to finalize the menu options?”

Paige nodded. “Isabel isn’t eating dairy right now because she hates joy, but I don’t think we’ll need to adjust much of what we already picked.”

I scribbled a note in my planner. “I’ll tell the bakery. Only other thing might be the breakfast stuff I was going to put in the fridge, but I’ll verify when I’m at the office tomorrow.”

Molly sighed. “I can’t believe she’s going to be forty.”

Paige pushed her bottom lip out. “Does this mean I’m old now?”

“No,” Molly and I said in unison.

Paige shook her head. “There’s no avoiding it. Two of you girls are in the forty and over bracket. I have a million grandkids.”

“Eight, but whatever,” Molly said.

Paige ignored her. “I have gray hairs that I have to color with regularity, and Emmett is an actual grown-ass man who will probably, maybe, hopefully add to that grandkid roster someday.”

Oh, okay.

My entire heart lurched painfully when she tossed his name into the conversation like that.

Emmett as a dad.

It was almost too much to think about. My ovaries screamed—somewhere deep in the place where ovaries existed—to be the one providing said babies.

If I thought it was bad before, when I was avoiding news stories and not looking at pictures, my brain was suddenly filled with a technicolor image of how he’d be with kids.

My whole body melted.

I might have made a whimpering noise.

Molly gave a look, and I cleared my throat, sitting up straighter in my chair.

“You’re not old,” I told Paige. “If I have half your energy when I’m your age, I’ll be thrilled. I’m not sure I have half your energy now.”

Paige smiled. “You work a lot more hours than I do, cupcake. And when you’re not working, you’re back home.”

I managed a smile of my own. “I know.”

“Did Tim get his tests back yet?” Molly asked quietly.

My chest felt heavy as I shook my head, the back of my neck tight with tension I’d carried all week. “They know something isn’t right. The tumor in his lungs is the same size, but they’re trying to figure out if his cancer metastasized somewhere else.”

“I’m sorry, Adaline,” Paige said, leaning forward to cover my hand with hers. “If there’s anything we can do to help, you just say the word, okay?”