The Couple at No. 9(97)

‘What? What is it?’

‘Rose says here she killed Neil Lewisham. Mum, it’s a confession.’

Lorna sinks back onto the bed, her legs weak. ‘You’re going to have to show it to the police. You need to tell them everything. And give them the folder from Victor. Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have come back here.’

She hears Saffy’s sharp intake of breath. ‘Oh, Mum,’ she says, her voice sad. ‘I’m only scanning, but in the letter, Rose … It sounds like Victor found her.’





56


Rose



Bonfire Night, 1980


I decided to hide the folder under the wonky mantelpiece in your bedroom. It had never fitted properly because of the missing bricks behind it. I didn’t tell Daphne where I’d put it. Better that nobody knew.

‘Tomorrow,’ she said, standing at the range, stirring a saucepan full of carrots, potatoes and broccoli, ‘let’s look into renting Skelton Place out. And we can find somewhere to live in Bristol. A big city. It will be easier to blend in.’

‘Okay,’ I agreed. A busy anonymous street where all the houses looked the same. A place where nobody knew our names. I should have done that from the beginning. I shouldn’t have come here to Beggars Nook.

‘But tonight,’ said Daphne, angling her body towards me, wooden spoon in hand, ‘let’s go to the fireworks display, and act normally. For Lolly. Okay?’

I nodded.

‘Good,’ she said. ‘Good. We can do this. It will all be okay.’

I didn’t feel so sure. It was like my world was closing in so that I felt claustrophobic in the village. In the cottage. In the place I’d always felt safest.

‘I think you should wear my old wig,’ she said suddenly. She was standing in her familiar flamingo pose, the sleeves of her jumper halfway over her hands. ‘Hide that lovely wavy hair of yours.’

I laughed. My hair was mousy – it didn’t exactly stand out. ‘I’ll just wear a bobble hat. It’ll be cold and dark, so if Victor’s there, prowling about, it’ll be hard for him to recognize me.’

She surveyed me, a frown creasing her brow.

‘What?’ I asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

‘Nothing.’ She shook her head. ‘It’s just you’re stronger than you think, Rose Grey.’

‘I don’t know …’

‘You are,’ she said, her voice softer now. ‘The way you escaped Victor. Really, I’m impressed.’ She blew me a kiss and turned back to her cooking.

There was a feeling of anticipation in the air as the three of us made our way to the village that evening. You were walking between us, as usual, holding each of our hands, while Daphne chatted away to you about toffee apples on sticks. I glanced over your head at Daphne. She looked carefree and happy. Not worried at all. Whereas my stomach felt like the inside of a washing-machine, and every time I heard a shout of laughter or a dog barking I’d flinch. It wasn’t just Victor I was worried about. It was the thought of starting a new life away from the village with all its familiarity. I was beginning to doubt moving to Bristol. It was something Daphne had always wanted to do. I think she was worried that if we stayed here someone would eventually come looking for Neil – and find out who she really was. But I’d never liked big cities even though I grew up in London.

But Daphne was right about one thing. If Victor had found me, we had no choice but to move away.

The firework display was being held in a field near the farm where Daphne worked. It was a bit of a trek, for you especially, but you didn’t complain. You were too excited at the prospect of sugary food and fireworks. We followed the throng of people through the village square, over the bridge and towards the farm.

‘At work yesterday Sean told me there’s going to be hot dogs and a bonfire,’ said Daphne to you. You squealed in excitement and clutched our hands tighter. You were too young last year to go to any display.

Sean again. Daphne talked about him a lot. He lived in Chippenham and travelled in every day. She said she saw him as a younger brother, but I worried he wasn’t a good influence on her. Ever since he started at the farm she’d been bringing more items home. Things I wasn’t sure Mick would be very happy about if he knew. She was allowed friends, of course. I never wanted to be a controlling partner. But I couldn’t help my unease. It felt safer to keep our circle as small as we could. And even though I’d never met Sean I’d already made up my mind that I didn’t trust him.

‘It’s quite crowded,’ I said, trying to keep the anxiety from my voice.

‘I think neighbouring villages might have got tickets too,’ she said.

I bristled.

I couldn’t enjoy myself. I watched Daphne lead you around the field, going from one stall to another while I hovered behind, like a bouncer on high alert, still terrified that Victor might be looking for me. It was dark with a fine drizzle in the air. I could see your pink and red bobble wobbling as you followed Daphne around, your hand tightly in hers. ‘Make sure you don’t let go of her hand,’ I said to Daphne. I must have sounded stern because Daphne’s eyes widened in surprise and hurt, as she said that, yes, of course she would. ‘I’d guard this child with my life,’ she said.