The Christmas Bookshop(52)

He smiled at her and for the first time she thought, That’s your real smile. He didn’t show all his teeth, just the incisors, so it was almost more of a wolfish snarl. And yet far more attractive than his real one.

‘Isn’t this the point where you say, “Everything will be all right, I promise”?’

‘Oh no, fuck that,’ he said, suddenly sliding a cold hand round her waist. She gasped.

‘Everything will be very, very bad. Very.’

He leaned forward and she smelled his expensive aftershave and, underneath it, something more raw. Suddenly, despite herself, she felt a tug of want; a tug of wanting to throw all her cares to the wind. She had been so good, working so hard, getting on with Sofia, trying so hard … couldn’t she just have this?

‘Carmen?’ Sofia’s voice came from inside the house.

Carmen and Blair looked at one another, caught on the doorstep.

‘Shut the door – it’s freezing!’

Blair looked at her meaningfully.

‘Come on then.’

‘Carmen!’

Carmen blinked. The taxi he’d booked turned into the silent street, its light glowing a warm yellow. A black cab, a hotel room … she pushed herself unconsciously a little closer against him. His hand slid further around her waist, possessively, confidently, and she tilted her head slowly upwards, her lips getting closer and closer towards his, when— SLAP!

The huge mound of snow went straight down the back of their coats, down the back of her thin jumper, all over her hair. It was freezing, wet and stung her.

‘What?!’

And there was only the sound of giggling on the wind – Carmen looked up. To her surprise, Phoebe’s window was open and she and Jack could just be glimpsed, giggling, scraping snow off their window ledge.

‘You were kissing!’ shouted Phoebe.

‘THAT’S DISGUSTING!’

‘We were not!’ said Carmen, shocked but finding it funny too.

‘Bloody brats,’ said Blair, straightening up. ‘This is cashmere!’

‘Um, so, goodnight,’ said Carmen, the cold snow bringing her back to reality. ‘Go to bed, you monkeys, or NO MORE MUPPETS!’

The giggling immediately ceased and the window slammed down.

He looked at her, confused.

‘You’re not coming? Seriously?’

‘Am I getting into a cab with a man they’ve never met before in front of my tiny niece and nephew?’ said Carmen. ‘No.’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ said Blair. He turned and headed for the cab.

‘Bye then,’ said Carmen.

She only got a grunt in return.



Carmen went and lay down on Sofia’s bed, banging her head into the many differently shaped tidy pillows Sofia mystifyingly took off and replaced on the bed every single night and morning.

‘You could have gone,’ said Sofia rubbing in face cream. ‘You don’t have to be in love with him, do you?’

Carmen gave her a look.

‘What?’

‘You never cease to surprise me,’ said Carmen, finally drinking a pint of water, barely stopping, gasping at how cold it was.

‘I know, but how long has it been?’

‘He called the children brats!’

‘They were being absolutely fucking brats!’ said Sofia. Then she burst out laughing. ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I just said that. Oh my God.’

‘Did you drink some of that Champagne on the sly?’

‘I very much did not do that,’ said Sofia, laughing. She looked at Carmen with uncharacteristic softness. ‘I think it’s having you here.’

‘What, not getting laid and packing the dishwasher wrong?’

‘Something along those lines,’ she said. ‘I think you’re good for me, Carmen.’

Carmen looked up, surprised.

‘Thanks,’ she mumbled, finding it hard to look Sofia in the eye. Then she paused. ‘I’m having a good time too.’

‘Even with me being a dishwasher fiend?’

‘Yes,’ said Carmen. ‘And the children aren’t brats. They’re wonderful.’

There was a very quiet noise from downstairs. The sisters looked at each other.

‘It couldn’t be,’ said Carmen, quicker off the mark.

‘What? What?’ said Sofia. But Carmen was already heading up to the big windows looking over the street. Sure enough, the cab had circled round and come back – and there was Skylar, her long blonde hair tipping down her back, dashing up and hopping in.



‘Come on – it’s funny,’ Sofia was saying.

‘I know,’ said Carmen. ‘But it’s just been so long. And I liked … ’

‘What?’ said Sofia.

‘No, it’s stupid.’

‘What?’

‘Well. I … I liked the idea. I mean, everyone is so sorted and well off and has nice houses and I’m completely stuck. It was … it was fun. The idea of it. Going to fancy places and being treated well.’

‘Being treated well by people who aren’t him.’

‘Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I know. It’s all right for you, sleeping upstairs.’