The Chemistry of Love(85)

My heart was pounding, my feet urging me to chase after him, my lips demanding that I do it now or there would be consequences. Instead, I closed the door and sank down to the floor. That man was going to be the death of me.

I got out my phone and called my best friend, who answered immediately. “He kissed you.”

“How do you know that?” I demanded.

“I didn’t! It was just a guess based on data and predictability and also me being awesome at knowing things. How french were the kisses? Like french vanilla ice cream or like riding a bicycle while wearing a beret and watching a street mime?”

“Honestly, it was like an out-of-body experience, only I was in my body and hyperaware and overstimulated all at the same time.”

“That’s the best kind,” she said with a happy sigh. “Just know that I could not be more happy about this. No, I probably could, but then you would have to take me to the hospital because I’d be having a coronary. Tell me everything.”

I recapped her on the entire night and this time gave her all the details. I did trust her judgment and I wanted an outside perspective. I felt too close to everything to know what I should do.

She was strangely quiet when I finished. “At what point are you going to realize that Marco is in love with you?”

That sent lances of shock through my chest. “What?”

“He is the CEO of a major international corporation.”

Confusing. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“How does a man like that have so much free time to just hang out with you? Do you realize that he is rearranging his schedule to be able to spend time with you?”

“That’s not—” But I stopped. What if that were true?

“And before you but, Craig me, you also have to realize that what you have with him is just a long-standing crush that is like a shadow that would disappear under harsh light.”

What was I supposed to say to that? I suspected she was right. “I don’t know how I feel.” It was about as honest as I was willing to be in that moment.

“You do tend to crush on unobtainable men,” she said softly, like she was afraid of hurting me. “You want your fairy tale. And I know you’re waiting for your white knight.”

“I’m not doing that,” I immediately protested.

“You are. You love the idea of being rescued. Your grandma did it with your grandpa, your dad did it for your mom, and Craig rescued you in a parking lot.”

“That’s not the only reason.”

“I would also like to point out that Marco kind of rescued you in that bathroom. And instead of leaving ten minutes later like Craig, he’s stuck around.”

It was extremely disconcerting to have someone close to you point out something you’d never even considered. Was this true? Was I so obsessed with fairy tales and happily ever afters and being rescued that I’d been waiting around for something to happen instead of going after what I wanted?

Like I’d resolved to do?

“Also, I would like to file a formal complaint that you haven’t been kissing Marco this whole time. You should do it every chance you get. You can kiss him. You don’t have to wait for him to make a move.”

“I can’t just kiss him.” She was not understanding the situation. At all.

“Why not?”

“Because he doesn’t actually want to kiss me.”

“How long did he kiss you for tonight?” she asked.

I didn’t know. Because time had basically stopped when his mouth was on mine.

“People don’t actually go around kissing random other people for no reason,” she added.

We had a reason. “Science?” I offered weakly, but I anticipated her response before she said it.

“Nobody kisses for science, either.”

“That’s not true. There are people who study kissing specifically as a field of study and—”

“You have put all your eggs into one poorly woven basket,” she said. “For once in your life, be bold. Do something scary. Tell him. It doesn’t bode well for your fake relationship if you can’t communicate what you’re feeling.”

The idea of telling Marco that I had feelings for him was too much. “I’ve been bold. I went after Craig.”

“You didn’t. You and Marco invented some wackadoodle scheme to get him to notice you.”

It was like she was forgetting all the scary things I’d recently done. “I quit my job!”

“And then had a new job a few hours later as a consultant. You’ve never been without a safety net. Start your company. Go get the man of everyone’s dreams. Pitch your idea to an investor. Go for it.”

I had the feeling she was right. And maybe I needed to spend an obsessive amount of time thinking about it. “What’s going on with Zhen?” I asked and walked upstairs as she told me all about their date last night, and I smiled as I listened.

I wished, for the millionth time, that I could be more like her.

Because Catalina would be bold when it came to Marco.

Maybe it was time to be more like her.





CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR


Marco kept being available to me in the evenings. During the day, I refined my mood ring lipstick, and at night, he and I hung out. We mostly stayed at his place—I supposed there was no need to keep getting photographed when Craig was a hundred percent aware that we were a couple.