The Chemistry of Love(45)

“And what? You think all marriages are like that? They’re not.”

Marco kept his gaze fixed on the arguing group, Zhen’s voice carrying over to us. Then Marco said, “I don’t want to end up like my father.”

“Then don’t be like him,” I said.

He turned back to look at me, and the intensity there was shocking. I felt the burn of his look deep in my gut. “Do you think it’s really that easy? Don’t you think we’re doomed to repeat the mistakes of our parents?”

“No. Aren’t we supposed to be trying to do better than the generations before us? Fix their mistakes, don’t pass along their trauma? Give ourselves the best possible shot at life? If your dad is a terrible husband, then you can be better than him. Be committed.”

He didn’t say anything, and that only made me feel compelled to keep talking. “My grandma—she became an environmental scientist in a time when not a lot of women were doing that. She had to be tough and serious. Kept people at arm’s length, including her loved ones. But my mom was softer and more open. I want to be the same way.” I wasn’t doing a great job of it so far, though. I needed to be better about letting my walls down.

He seemed to take in what I was saying. Zhen yelled something that had Sanjit yelling back at him. After Catalina got the two men calmed down, Marco looked at me again.

“I wasn’t trying to upset you earlier. I tend to tease the women in my life.”

“Maybe that’s why they don’t date you for very long,” I offered with a wry smile. “As I just demonstrated, I’m usually the teasing kind, too. I don’t know what’s going on with me or why I’m being so prickly and putting up walls.”

“We’re friends, aren’t we?” he asked.

“Yes.” And as friends, we should be allowed to give each other some grief. I was taking everything far too seriously.

Somehow he managed to move closer to me, putting his arm behind me so that he could lean in. My throat closed in completely as the air in my lungs solidified. What was he doing?

He looked down at my lips, then back up to my eyes. “I know you’re going to have your happily ever after, Anna. I don’t doubt that for a second.”

The air inside my lungs turned solid as I realized what was happening.

Marco was going to kiss me.





CHAPTER THIRTEEN


Right here, in front of a bunch of people I used to work with.

Okay. Don’t freak out, I told myself. We should be practicing. This was fine. It probably would look like just a regular old couple about to share an average everyday kiss. Like we did all the time.

Only this one wouldn’t mean anything, and nobody else was supposed to know that.

I probably should have let my eyes close, but I wanted to see what was happening.

I could feel myself overanalyzing and calculating and trying to figure out how I could let this happen and not lose myself completely to his touch.

But oh, his eyes were mesmerizing. Dark pools of chocolate that I wanted to dive into and live in. Something shifted between us, that electricity arcing to life and making the air around us crackle with excitement.

“Anna.” He murmured my name, his lips moving closer to mine. Somehow the entire space-time continuum stopped. My heart beat quickly at first, then slow and hard. I kept telling myself I could do this. I could kiss him and not lose total control.

But every nerve ending, every hormone, every cell in my body was telling me that that was a complete and utter lie.

I also found that I didn’t care. I didn’t care what the reasons were behind it or whether or not I’d be able to dismiss it afterward. In that moment, the only thing I cared about was it happening.

“Marco! Marco!”

Someone was calling his name, and it was like a lightsaber cutting through that electricity between us. I jerked back, hitting my head against the wall behind me. I reached up to touch the back of my skull.

Marco looked concerned. “Are you okay?”

New rule I was going to follow—no more injuring myself around this man. It was getting embarrassing.

“I’m fine. Totally fine.” I didn’t know if I would ever be fine again.

Zhen called out, “Marco!”

Could they not see him? How? The man was so tall, he took up half the room. It was like I was giving off some kind of invisibility radius that shielded him from view.

Annoyed, I responded, “Polo!”

That made Marco laugh, and Zhen came over with his phone out. “Hey, I wanted to grab a picture of the group for the ’gram.”

I should have been given a medal for not rolling my eyes. Was it really so hard to say Instagram? Had he saved time by omitting two syllables, or was he somehow cooler because he’d used the term?

“Sure thing.” Marco got up, and it felt like he was being peeled away from me bit by bit and when he was standing up, there was a void there, an ache. I wanted him back where he had been.

That was alarming.

They formed a large group, putting their arms around each other’s shoulders, and I waited for someone to remember I was there and ask me to take the picture.

Marco looked over his shoulder. “Anna, come join in.” He had Peter move and then waved me over.

I got up and walked toward him, standing in the spot he’d indicated.