The Chaos Kind (John Rain #11)(71)

Manus didn’t want to lie to him. But he didn’t know what was true, either.

I don’t know.

But you won’t kill anyone anymore, will you?

I will if they try to hurt you or your mom.

That’s different. Anyway, don’t you want to be good?

Manus thought for a moment. And then remembered what he had been thinking about in the park, just yesterday morning but seeming much longer ago.

I want to be . . . who you see when you look at me the way you are now.

Dash gave him a beautiful, unself-conscious smile. That’s easy. You already are.

Manus wiped his face and tousled Dash’s hair. Dash hugged him.

Manus looked at Evie and signed, I’m sorry. I was so afraid . . . they would tell him. All of it. All the things I told you.

She glanced at Dash, then back to Manus. She smiled. You didn’t have to worry. He loves you.

Manus nodded and started crying again. He would have signed I love him, too, but he was holding Dash too tightly.





chapter

fifty-three





DOX


Dox was lying on the bed next to Labee, watching her face in the dim glow from the bathroom light. He wondered when he’d see her again after this thing was over. Maybe months. Maybe never. He’d put on a brave face when she’d been asking him all those questions, partly because he didn’t want her to feel pressured, partly to protect his own dignity. But the truth was, it wasn’t easy for him. He wanted to be with her. All the time. He’d never thought he’d reach a point where he wasn’t interested in other women. But here he was. All that nonsense in the poems and songs and movies . . . It had happened to him.

And my God, it had been good just now, too. He’d been thinking about it for a while, how maybe his natural protectiveness for her was blinding him to her needs. Not that she required protecting, by him or anyone else. It was just that knowing her history, and the way she had entrusted it to him . . . It made him look at her a certain way. But he was glad he’d gotten past that.

Maybe it was foolish to worry about what would happen next. Life was short, and he was with her now. And if he ever had a chance at the end of his life to think back to the most magical times, he knew this would be one of them. Lying in this bed, watching her beautiful, sleeping face, and wondering at the strangeness of it all. He was glad he understood how special the moment was now, that it wouldn’t be only in retrospect.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Hey.”

He reached out and touched her cheek. “Hey there. I thought you were sleeping.”

She sighed. “On and off. You’re not?”

“Almost. It was an eventful day.”

She closed her eyes and smiled. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Eventful night, too.”

“Mmm.”

“Was it good like that?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him. God, she was so lovely in this light, half-awake, half-asleep. “You know it was,” she said.

“You know, you can tell me. If there are things you want to do.”

“I think it works better when you figure it out on your own.”

“Oh. Well, you could give me some hints.”

“You don’t think I have been?”

He couldn’t help laughing at that. “Oh, shit. I hate when I’m dumb.”

She smiled and touched his cheek the way he liked. “But apparently not ineducable.”

They were quiet for a moment. She said, “You going to sleep?”

“Yeah, in a few. I just like looking at you. I don’t get so many opportunities.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I didn’t mean it that way. I mean . . . I’m too happy to go to sleep. I don’t want to waste it.”

“That’s nice.”

“Just the truth.”

“You know,” she said, “if you’re really going to be up, might be worth checking the secure site. It’s morning on the East Coast. Rain and Delilah have probably landed, and Kanezaki might have found something.”

“Yeah, that’s a good point. Tell you what. You doze off if you like, and I’ll lie here looking at you for another minute or so. Then I’ll check the site.”

She smiled and closed her eyes. “Wake me if there’s anything.”

He watched her for a little while longer. It would have been nice to just drop off lying next to her, but she was right: better to check the site first just in case.

He set up the satellite hotspot in front of the window and used a burner to log in. There was a message from Kanezaki: I know where they have Schrader.

Well, shit. So much for the rest of their idyllic night in the Silver Cloud Inn.





chapter

fifty-four





LARISON


Larison was dozing in a chair he’d carried to the corner of the room near the door, the Glock in his hand. He hadn’t wanted to alarm Diaz, but she’d taken the precaution in stride. In fact, after hearing his explanation, she’d dragged one of the mattresses off the box frame and onto the floor. “If someone breaches a room,” he’d told her, “you don’t want to be in the first place they look. Randomness can buy you a second. And if you don’t think a second’s a long time, you’ve never been in a gunfight.”