The Certainty of Violet & Luke (The Coincidence, #5)(30)

It’s crazy how much he gets it and how much I want to stop for him and kind of for myself. But if I’m being honest, I can’t picture my life without my reckless behavior and that makes me wonder how long I can go on like this. It’s been so long that it doesn’t even feel possible; even though I never want to have that helpless feeling I had in the water again. And I don’t for one second believe that going to the gym is going to help get rid of my problem, but he’s looking at me with hope in his eyes, so I agree.

‘Fine, I’ll go.’ I force a smile.

He grins from ear-to-ear and it makes agreeing worth it, despite the fact I’m going to look like a dumbass trying to beat up a bag. ‘Good, we start tomorrow at seven o’clock,’ he says.

‘In the morning?’ I give him a disgusted look. ‘What the hell. I don’t get up that early.’

He laughs at me then gives me a kiss on the forehead before sitting up. ‘Yeah, it’s early but I have to pick up my dad and Trevor from the airport and noon and then we’re going to dinner later, remember?’

Honestly, through all the stuff going on the past couple of weeks, I’d forgotten about it. ‘I kinda forgot they were coming,’ I admit, sitting up and reaching for my Calculus book.

‘That’s understandable.’ He heads for the door with the pajama bottoms in his hand. ‘You’ve been under a lot of stress lately.’

‘You’ve been sounding like a psychologist lately. So either Seth’s been wearing on you or maybe that’s what you should major in.’

He releases a cynical laugh. ‘Yeah, that’ll be the day. Me sitting behind a desk, listening to other peoples’ problems and trying to fix them.’

‘You’re better at it than you think.’ My words carrying more meaning than meets the ear.

Luke gives me a thankful smile that chips at my ice-cold heart just a bit, but his happiness quickly turns to hesitancy. ‘So how was the therapy thing today?’ he asks as indifferently as possible, but I can tell he’s worried about asking me.

I shrug, not wanting to talk about the fact that my head is officially being examined. ‘Not too bad I guess.’

‘Do you have to see them again?’ he wonders, his fingers wrapping around the doorknob.

I nod, wondering if I’m going to go through with it – keep going and let Lana dissect me. ‘Yeah, next week.’

‘Until when?’

‘Until the unforeseeable future.’ I shrug, then shrug again, not sure what else to say. Lana never mentioned how much I’d have to go there. What if it’s a really long time? Sitting in that chair, talking about stuff I always avoid no matter what the costs. Can I handle it?

‘Oh, okay.’ Luke drops the subject and opens the door.

All this talk about our futures, I’m reminded of who I am. Like me, Luke has no declared major, but he still plays football and has hobbies so he’s at least got that, unlike me. I don’t have any hobbies, other than my extreme lack of people skills and my adrenaline junkie addiction. I have nothing really.

Maybe Luke’s right. Maybe I do need to declare a major, get out of the house, do something. But I don’t even know where to start. All my life, I’ve felt like I was drifting, drifting through homes, jobs, even classes, passing them but never really getting into anything I was being taught.

Drifting.

That’s all I did – do. My thoughts always stuck in the past.

But now the past might get its justice – my parents might get their justice. And that leaves me with facing the future, whether I’m ready to or not.





Chapter 14


Violet


‘I saw you, Violet. Saw you in the water.’ A whisper fills my head. It comes in the middle of the night. A voice, floating from somewhere in the dark house. ‘You wanted to hurt yourself.’

‘You’re not getting off that easy.’

Did it come from the bedroom? I’m not sure, but they sound so close … wait where am I?

I’m startled from my sleep then smothered by the darkness around me. It feels so heavy, so crushing that I can’t breathe.

I’m alone.

Alone.

Alone.

Alone.

In the dark house.

Only I’m not alone.

A stranger is here with me.

‘Wake up.’

This time I know I heard something for sure and I reach for Luke and feel his warmth beside me. ‘Luke, wake up.’ I give him a hard shake, my eyes frantically scanning the room. But there’s no one there. ‘I think I hear someone … out in the living room.’

It takes him a second to come out of his sleep, still dreary eyed as he flips on the lamp and looks at the clock. ‘It’s two in the morning … what’s going on?’

‘I hear someone in the living room,’ I hiss, sitting up and straining to hear the noise as I grip tightly onto the blanket.

This can’t be happening.

Not again.

No.

No one is here.

Thud … thud … thud …

A second later, Luke is out of bed and on his feet, chucking me the phone. ‘Get ready to call the police.’

I grab his arm as he cracks the bedroom door open. ‘Don’t go out there.’ I dig my nails into his flesh, clutching onto him like a terrified child.