The Certainty of Violet & Luke (The Coincidence, #5)(3)

Seeming torn about something, Luke extends his hand for me to take. ‘Baby, please just come home with me.’

The words ‘baby’ and ‘home’ flash like a lighthouse through my head and it gives me both a good and bad shiver. Emotions battle their way to the surface. I care for Luke. He gives me comfort. Security. And he could easily take it away from me. Again, another weakness I’ve developed. Dependability.

I’d be flipping out right now, but the alcohol makes it harder for me to feel, so maybe that’s why I want to stay, to numb myself into an emotionless state.

‘You’ve been calling me that a lot,’ I say through my own drunken stupidity – sober, I’d probably ignore the comment.

I detect the slightest quirk of his lips, the first sign of humor I’ve seen in a while. ‘Calling you what? ‘There’s a bit of lightness to his tone as he pretends to have no clue what I’m talking about.

‘You know what.’ I move to put my hands on my hips, but the room starts to twirl round and round and I end up clutching onto his shoulders for support.

He slants toward me and places his lips beside my ear, his hands finding my hips, fingers digging into the fabric of my dress and my flesh. ‘Baby,’ he whispers, his breath hot against my neck.

With a shiver, I nod. ‘Yeah, that … what’s up with that … why do you … keep calling me that.’

Amusement dances in his eyes as he leans back. ‘Does it bother you that I do? ‘

I hesitate and then shrug. ‘I’m not sure.’

‘Do you want me to stop? ‘

‘I … Again, I’m not sure … It’s just that I don’t know what it means.’ Again, the truth falls out. Damn alcohol. It’s like freakin’ truth serum or something.

His smile cracks through. ‘Well, the word itself has a few meanings, but in my case I’m using it as term of endearment.’

‘I know what the word means.’ I gesture back and forth between the two of us very sloppily and end up accidentally slapping myself in the face. ‘But I don’t know what it means for us.’ I rub the spot on my face where I hit while Luke chuckles at my lack of coordination.

Then suddenly, as he takes in the full extent of what I said, a strange look of panic and confusion crosses his face and then I start to go into anxiety mode.

Luke must notice this too because he quickly averts the subject elsewhere. ‘I’ll tell you what,’ he says, his fingers gently folding into my skin as he reels me closer to him, our bodies aligning, chests so close I swear I can feel his heart racing, or maybe it’s mine. He smells like cologne mixed with cigarettes – totally and completely Luke. ‘Come home with me and we can do whatever you want when we get there,’ he says.

‘I thought you said you needed to catch up on school work?’

‘I’m more concerned with just getting you home safely … and without doing anything irrational.’ He tucks a strand of my red and black hair behind my ear.

I’m not sure if he means it the way that I take it. Luke knows my dirty little secret, that I push the boundaries of life, seeking adrenaline over emotion. Fear over pain.

‘I’m okay, Luke, I promise.’ I’m trying to let him off the hook. Take a break from babysitting me but he seems unwilling to take it.

He shakes his head and pulls me toward him until I can feel the heat of his breath on my face and almost taste his lips. ‘I said I’m not leaving without you.’ Then he kisses me, just a quick feather light kiss, but enough to make me zone out of reality. ‘Now please just quit being a pain in the ass and come home with me.’

I’m about to give into him, but then I see his expression. The way he’s looking at me, like I’m everything to him, and it makes me want to run. Away from him. From this place.

Run.

Run.

Run.

Because I know that once I go home and the silence sets in, everything will set in.

And I hate myself for it, but in the end, I’ll do anything to feel nothing.





Chapter 2


Luke


It’s really f*cking late and all I want to do is go home. I thought I had Violet with the whole baby remark, but then something I said made her panic and suddenly she’s headed to get more drinks. It’s killing me to watch her drown her pain in alcohol – I understand the need way too well. Watching her go through this has made staying sober easier, though, because I have to have a clear head for her. It’s not a f*cking cakewalk, though. My mind still does drift toward the blissful taste of alcohol whenever I’m near it. But what gets me through it, stops me from taking a sip, is reminding myself that I care for Violet; that I owe her everything after what my mother took from her.

I’ve been keeping an eye on her for most of the party. It’s kind of become a routine for the last couple of weeks. She gets drunk and I’m there to take care of her. But I messed up tonight when I got sidetracked by a conversation with Drey Filtphermen about this year’s season and how we’re going to ‘kick ass.’

I nod as, half listening, I scan the crowd for Violet. ‘Yeah, we should do good.’ The last thing on my mind right now is football.

Drey nods and then throws back a shot. ‘What? You not drinking tonight?’