The Candid Life of Meena Dave(90)

Sam had insisted she change the name of the pup to something fierce, something that resembled his stern face. At first she’d told him she was keeping it just to irritate him. Now, though, she referred to the dog as Huck and couldn’t wait to pick him up next week. In the meantime, in between bouts of work, she watched a lot of dog-training videos. Sam had given her a book on it that Meena kept by her bedside.

Meena heard a quick knock on the door, and then Sabina came in.

Meena stood and braced herself.

Sabina glanced around the apartment. Today she was in a long red silk kurta that was like a dress that hit at the knees, black leggings underneath. Her hair was in its usual thick braid down her back.

“Is there something you needed to say?”

Sabina nodded.

Meena sat but kept her back straight, her legs taut.

Sabina joined her on the sofa. “What you said, about growing up. I spent time thinking about it. When I found out I was pregnant, I was . . . I have never known fear like that. It was this one time. I was tired of being the good girl that did what everyone expected. Neha’s cousin was here for a few weeks to look at colleges. He was the first boy to flirt with me. What a cliché, right?”

Meena stayed quiet.

“When I missed my period, and then another one, I didn’t know what to do.” Sabina hugged a throw pillow. “It wasn’t what Indian girls did. Sex was for after marriage. I thought my parents would disown me. Put me out on the street. I couldn’t leave. Not this legacy. I wanted to be a caretaker of this house more than anything else. I went to Neha. She was older. When I started to show, Neha set up a fake internship where I would study landscaping at Smith College for six months. A live-in opportunity to strengthen my college application. I stayed by myself in a studio apartment near the college campus, the one and only time I lived alone. She’d arranged it all. She even found a family a month before my due date. After you were born, Neha took care of all the paperwork and the exchange. Two days after I gave birth, I was home. I went on as if those nine months never happened.”

“Did you manage to forget?”

“Not the fear,” Sabina clarified. “I will never forget how scared I was to be disowned, to be kicked out of this house, the only home I ever knew, have ever wanted.”

“I was thrown out,” Meena offered. “Not because of something I did, but because of circumstances beyond my control. I survived.”

“It doesn’t escape me,” Sabina said. “You’re stronger than me. Even now. To stay here, to do what you want knowing I’m not welcoming you.”

Meena rolled her shoulders back. Damn right. She was strong. “I learned how to be strong.”

“I have accepted that you aren’t leaving.” Sabina sighed. “I want to come to an agreement.”

“I’m not obligated to meet any of your conditions.”

“You said you weren’t interested in exposing me. Yet you told Sam.”

“He and I are close,” Meena said. “I won’t keep things from him.”

“I can never tell my husband or children about you.”

It shouldn’t have hurt. Yet it did. “Fine with me.”

Sabina stood. “We’re agreed. We will be neighbors and nothing more. I hope you can keep your word.”

“I will. If you tell Uma and Tanvi all of it.” Meena wanted to have meaningful relationships with the other aunties. She couldn’t do that with a secret like this.

“I can’t,” Sabina said. “They will never forgive me.”

“I am not going to close myself off to them. I also don’t want this hanging over my head. It’s your secret, not mine.”

Sabina gritted her teeth.

“Your choice.” Meena gave her an ultimatum. “This is the only thing I’m asking of you.”

“Can we come in?” Tanvi poked her head in. “Sabina, I didn’t know you were here. I sent you a text that we were coming down here.”

Meena looked up as Uma and Tanvi rushed in.

“We brought chai.” Uma waved the thermos.

“I have cookies.” Tanvi held up a plate. “What’s going on?”

Meena shrugged and picked up a cookie. “What are you guys doing here?”

“We need you to settle a bet,” Tanvi said.

Meena smiled. “Whoever had March twelfth for Sam and me to become boyfriend and girlfriend wins your bet.”

Uma whooped. “I had March tenth. I win.”

Meena laughed as Uma did a small victory dance. They chatted. Sabina and Meena with the other two but not with each other. If Tanvi and Uma noticed, they didn’t let on. Before the aunties left, they complimented her apartment and then themselves in the photos.

Meena closed the door behind them and left it unlocked as she went to her worktable. She had photos to edit, emails to respond to, and a schedule to make for upcoming assignments. Later she would go over to Sam’s and they’d order takeout and watch a movie while Wally snoozed on the rug. Next week Huck would join them. They would go to pub trivia. She was settling in, and it felt good. Right.





CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT


Four days later Meena was in downward dog when Uma and Tanvi barged into her apartment. A thermos and a Tupperware in their hands. There was concern on their faces. She came out of the pose, and before she could fully stand, she was enveloped in a hug by Tanvi. Uma stroked her arm.