The Bride Test (The Kiss Quotient #2)(79)

“No, it’s bullshit. Where was Andy heading when he got hit by that semi?”

Khai looked down at the deep scratches on the motorcycle. Those had happened the night of the accident. “He was coming to see me.”

“Why?”

Khai tilted his head as his chest hollowed out and caved inward. “Because I asked him to. I wanted to hang out.”

Shit, this awful feeling was guilt. He had a name for it now.

“And have you once in the past ten years invited anyone to come see you?” Quan asked.

Khai shook his head. “But that’s because I don’t need people around. I don’t get lonely.”

“The guy who invited Andy over because he didn’t want to be alone doesn’t get lonely?” Quan asked. “How’s that flu going for you? Did you ever get a fever?”

Khai stared at his brother mutinously. He didn’t want to talk about the fever he’d never had.

Quan arched an eyebrow. “So are you gonna tell her now?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you’re embarrassingly in love with her, that’s what,” Quan said in an exasperated tone.

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m not in love with her?”

Quan rubbed at his head for a moment before he took a bracing breath and considered Khai with renewed patience. “How do you know?”

Khai blinked. “How do I know I’m not in love?”

“Yeah, how do you know you’re not in love?”

“I know because I can’t love.” He’d gone over this already, and he didn’t like repeating himself.

“So, like, you don’t think about her ever?” Quan asked.

“No, I do.”

“And you don’t care about her? Like if she’s sad, you don’t give a shit?”

“No, I care,” Khai said.

“And you wouldn’t take a bullet for her?” Quan asked.

“No, I would. But you would, too. That’s the right thing to do.”

“You don’t like being with her more than other people? You could trade her for someone else with no regrets?”

Khai scowled at his brother, not liking how he was manipulating the questions. “No, I like being with her a lot, and I wouldn’t trade her for anyone else.”

Quan gave him a deadpan look. “I bet the sex is super shitty.”

“It’s none of your business what it’s like.” Memories from less than an hour ago played in his mind, Esme coming against his mouth, moaning his name, rubbing his cock over her wet sex. “But it’s not shitty.”

“Lucky bastard,” Quan muttered. “I hope you realize when you say all those things about someone, it means you’ve got it bad for them.”

Khai stepped away from the motorcycle, abandoning the keys to Quan. “I really don’t.” Love and addiction were different things.

“Oh, come on, Khai,” Quan exploded.

“I’m going to take a shower. After you’ve decided what you’re doing with the motorcycle, please shut the garage.”

He escaped into his house through the garage entrance. Once inside, he took his shoes off, carried them to the front door, and sat down on the couch, propping his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his palms. Through the hard slamming of his heart, he heard the garage door shut and Quan’s Ducati roar to life. The loud engine sound receded and disappeared altogether.

Alone again.

He wasn’t lonely, though. He liked this.

Like wasn’t the right word. He was accustomed to this. Well, he used to be. Until Esme came along.

? ? ?

On Monday, Esme got an email from Miss Q saying the community college had received her test scores, and her application was under expedited review per her recommendation.

It was really happening. She had a chance of getting a college education and changing her life for good. All on her own merits. Hope grew to gigantic proportions, and that dream of being someone possessed her. She wanted it for herself and for her baby. How wonderful would it be to show Jade what she was capable of by example.

The days after that passed in an anxious haze, where she switched back and forth between extreme confidence and deep despair. She found the contact information for an immigration attorney who could—hopefully—help her bring Jade and her family here during the duration of her studies, but she didn’t call him. She’d only call if she got the scholarship.

On Wednesday, her apron buzzed while she was taking an order, and she knew that was the email. She was too busy to check, but the email hung heavy in the back of her mind as she worked through the lunch rush. As she ran orders back to the kitchen, her blood hummed with excitement. It was a full scholarship, and she was on her way to being Esme in Accounting for real and taking care of her family all by herself. As she carried food trays out to the tables, her heart dropped. It was a rejection, and she was going to go home with little to show for her time here.

Back and forth. Back and forth.

By the time the last customer left, tucking a fantastic twenty-dollar tip under his empty water glass before winking at her, she was all nerves. Instead of pulling her phone out right away, she cleared the tables and wiped them down.

With each swipe of wet dish towel on tabletop, she prepared herself for the upcoming news. If it was good, she was going to call her mom right away, thank Miss Q, and schedule an appointment with the immigration attorney. If it was bad, it was okay. There were good sides to her life back home, and she would keep her eyes open for other opportunities.