The Bookish Life of Nina Hill(82)

Nina grinned. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Lydia.” A mini cupcake—or it might have been a brownie; it was moving too fast to tell—whizzed by and knocked off the Reader’s glasses.

The cops, who had been well trained (though, admittedly, not for a food fight), started pushing through the crowd, looking for the troublemakers. This made the people on the outside of the crowd, who couldn’t see very well, assume something more serious was going on. They started to run or, at least, move swiftly away. This was Larchmont, after all; no need for unseemly panic.

The ice cream bandit sent a last volley over the heads of the thinning crowd, and both Nina and Lydia were in the line of fire. Professional hit, double scoop.

Lydia, who had decided to see the funny side of it, clutched her arm, which was covered in sprinkles. “I’m hit,” she cried, and staggered backward.

“Cold . . . so cold . . .” said Nina, channeling the heroic death of so many matinee idols. She made it to the bookstore front door and did a creditable death slide down it. Then she remembered why she was there.

“Come on,” she said, scrambling to her feet. “We’ll go around the back.”

“Really?” whined Lydia. “But this is so fun.”

“Quit it,” said Nina. “Let’s go.”

They darted across the melee and ran down the narrow lane behind the stores of Larchmont Boulevard. Nina pulled out her keys and once inside the store discovered Liz and Mr. Meffo hiding out in the back room. Even though the ice cream had been outside, the atmosphere in the room was decidedly frosty.

“Are they gone?” asked Liz.

“The crowd is dispersing, yes.”

Liz turned to Mr. Meffo. “Well then, sir, you are free to leave.”

Mr. Meffo got stiffly to his feet. “Thank you for the brief sanctuary, Elizabeth.”

Liz shrugged. Wow, thought Nina, I bet it was fun in here for the last hour or so. Mr. Meffo looked at Liz and seemed as though he was about to say something, but simply turned and left the store.

Liz sighed. “I wanted to ask him to give me more time, but I couldn’t find the right words. It’s always so easy in books and so hard in real life.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” said Lydia. Then she turned to Nina. “However, that is no excuse for not at least trying to go talk to your boyfriend.” She held up her finger. “You may have hoped I had forgotten what we were talking about, but I haven’t. You need to gird your loins, screw your courage to the sticking place, and remember a turtle only travels when it sticks its neck out.”

Liz and Nina looked at her. “It’s a Korean saying,” explained Lydia, shrugging.

“You’re right,” said Nina, suddenly feeling bolder than she’d ever felt before. Lydia was a woman of action, and she was related to Nina, so Nina must have woman-of-action genes somewhere. Besides, now Nina had a family. She had friends. She had money. She had a bitching car. She’d survived a terrifying drive in that bitching car, and there was nothing she couldn’t do, or at least try to do. “Let’s go.”

She and Lydia turned and left. Liz watched them go, then went to get paper towels and window cleaner. Fortunately, all-natural, artisanal ice cream is much easier to clean off than the factory stuff.





Twenty-nine




In which Nina takes things public.

You would have thought there was something monumental going on, judging by the crowd outside the bar. Mermaids wrestling in creamed corn. Kitten juggling. Instant Pot flash mob. Something. But it was really only the Southern California Quiz Bowl Final, and after ten minutes of wriggling, Lydia and Nina managed to push their way to the front.

Howard the QuizDick had really gone above and beyond for this one, and there was even a camera crew from a local affiliate station. Howard had decked himself out in a silver sequin dinner jacket and successfully bid on eBay for one of those microphones that looks like a half-finished lollipop on a long silver stick. Whatever it was, he was bringing it.

Nina could see both teams sitting on either side of the podium, which was bigger and more impressive (and hopefully drier) than the last one.

“Ladies, Gentlemen, and the great Undecided, welcome to the Final of the Southern California Quiz Bowl. For the first time we have a challenger from San Diego, the California Quizzly Bears, facing off against local heroes, You’re a Quizzard, Harry.”

Nina looked along the Quizzard team bench . . . no Tom.

Lisa was there, though, and she noticed Nina. She frowned and got to her feet.

“Competitors must remain in their positions,” said Howard.

“Don’t be silly, Howard,” replied Lisa. “I’ll be back in a minute. I have to see why we’re a team captain short.”

“There are no substitutions once the clock has begun,” warned Howard officiously.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” said Lisa, over her shoulder.

She and Nina met by the bar.

“Where’s Tom?” yelled Nina, over the hubbub. “This is my cousin, Lydia. She’s an expert in traffic patterns.”

“Hi,” said Lisa, looking surprisingly interested. “You picked a good city for it, although the biggest traffic jam ever took place in Beijing in 2010.”

“I know,” said Lydia with relish. “Sixty-two miles long, and lasted for twelve days.” She looked at Lisa carefully, never having met anyone else who cared about traffic. “I went on vacation last year to S?o Paulo. They have enormous traffic jams all the time; it was great.”