The Bookish Life of Nina Hill(6)

“Is it his cuteness or the fact that he knows so much more about sports than you?”

“He’s not cute. And he knows more about sports because he’s a dumb jock. Have you noticed he never answers a question about anything other than sports?”

“That’s not true; he answered a question about supermodels a few weeks ago.”

“Pah, swimsuit issue,” said Nina.

Lauren and Leah looked at each other over her head. “I think it’s the cuteness, personally,” said Leah. “I think you two are destined to fall in love and run off together on a trivia honeymoon.”

“Which would take place where?”

“The Culver City studio where Jeopardy! is filmed?”

“Washington DC, so you can geek out at the Library of Congress?”

“Hawaii?”

They all looked at Carter. “What has Hawaii got to do with trivia?” asked Lauren.

Carter shrugged. “I don’t know. I was focusing on the honeymoon part.”

Nina sighed. “He’s objectively attractive but subjectively repulsive, on account of his overwhelming self-confidence.”

Carter nodded. “That’s right, because women hate a confident man. That’s why Luke is so much more attractive than Han.”

Nina said, “Sarcasm gives you wrinkles.” She looked at the Quizzard team leader, surreptitiously. He had dark hair that seemed uncombed, which was good, and a bony, lean face that only just missed being traditionally handsome because he’d clearly broken his nose at some point. “Besides, he looks like he fights, and I’m a pacifist.” Neither of these things was strictly true, and Carter rolled his eyes.

The quizmaster tapped on his microphone. “OK, we have a new team joining the fray, You’re a Quizzard, Harry. The current leader, Book ’Em, Danno, is ahead by ten points, but we’ve still got three rounds to play, and, per the rules, late teams don’t get any extra credit, so, good luck, everyone.”

Nina checked that everyone had their pencils handy, and spare paper for notes. No one else needed paper and pencil, of course—she was the one who filled in the answers—but she liked everyone to be prepared. What if she suddenly had a seizure and broke her pencil? Her brain smash-cut to a slo-mo of her falling to the ground, the pencil snapping under her, pieces of wood and graphite flicking across the floor. She really needed to get laid; this kind of daydreaming couldn’t possibly be a good sign. She looked over at the Quizzard guy who, she had to admit, was totally sexy and probably as dumb as a stump. No, brain, no, she told herself, to which her brain responded that she was not in any way responsible for the issue at hand, and suggested Nina address her complaints to a lower authority.

“Are you paying attention, Nina?” barked Leah. “They’re handing out the quiz sheets.”

“Yes, yes.”

She took the sheet from the quizmaster, who leaned over and said, “Ten dollars Quizzard beats the crap out of you.”

Nina frowned at him. “Howard, get a grip. We’re already one round ahead. It’ll be hard for them to catch up.”

Leah leaned over and poked the guy in the chest. “Hey, just because I wouldn’t go out with you, there is no need to drag trivia into it. This is an honorable sport, played by honorable people.”

“In honorable bars,” chimed in Carter.

“At honorable times,” concluded Lauren.

They all knew Howard because he traveled from bar to bar, running quiz nights. He called himself the King of Questions but was referred to by everyone else as QuizDick. He loved to wield his power, which was solely based on his having all the answers, and the team suspected he was responsible for getting them banned from the last place. “You guys are drunk. They’re going to wipe the floor with you.”

“I am not drunk,” said Nina. “I am stone cold sober, and I am going to take your bet and then I am going to take your money.”

Howard sneered, which was even less attractive than you might think, and sauntered away.

Over at the Quizzard table, the girl member of the team, Lisa, was making fun of Tom, the tall guy who Nina thought was dumb as a stump.

“You like that girl, don’t you?” She inclined her head half an inch in Nina’s direction.

Tom shook his head. “Not at all. She’s full of herself. And she’s really short.” He could have gone on to say she had skin like a peach and hair the color of an Irish setter and a mouth that was higher at one corner than the other and ankles that tapered just so . . . but he thought it might undermine his position.

Jack, another Quizzard, made a face. “You’re jealous because she knows more than you do.”

“She doesn’t.”

“Yes, she does. She seems to know everything.”

“No one knows everything.”

“I heard she works at a bookstore,” said Paul, the final member of the Quizzard team.

“Isn’t that cheating?” said Jack.

Tom looked at him. “I don’t think having a job is cheating, Jack. Lots of people have jobs.”

“Not me,” said Jack proudly. There was a pause while he considered whether or not that was something to boast about, but ultimately decided he was cool with it. “I’m an artist.”

“You’re a vandal,” said Lisa. “You write your name on the sides of buildings.”